08/02/2026
I made a man cry last night!
Even better than that, it was after I spoke only one line. My very first line.
Why am I buzzin' about that you might be asking? Well...
Last night, I did something that for my whole life was seemingly impossible. I took part in my very first open mic! I didn't plan to, infact I actually planned NOT to, because what I'd been asked to "do" was too heavy, too dark...
Let me rewind a bit. In October 2025, when I unexpectedly fell apart around Ryan's anniversary, I made myself a promise, I would submit a piece of writing, somewhere, to be considered for something. I never told anyone. It was purely for me. Not because I'm desperate to be published, or have a desperate need to be "seen" etc. Simply, it's because the idea of submitting terrified me, and, I don't do too scared. Well, I did then, but I didn't want to. Not anymore. Three weeks later, without knowing about this promise to myself my friend sent me a call for submissions by a publishing house I adore. Womancraft publishing. They were calling out to women, to take part in their 3rd compendium, and, their theme.
Too Much Woman.
The deadline was November 14th and my life was insanely busy that month, but in between my crazyily busy life, somehow I managed to write a piece and I eventually managed to submit. My Inner Child really struggled. She was broken in pieces actually, what came out was so unexpected. So raw, so vulnerable.
Too heavy, too dark, too much? Well...
This post isn't about being published, I haven't heart back, April the 6th is the end date for that. Truthfully, it doesn't matter. Honestly, I've already won. Here's why. At first I couldn't write what I needed to, because what was coming out on the page broke my heart. But, I finished the writing. Second, I told myself, no need to submit it now, because IF they did choose it, I couldn't let them publish it anyway, on account of it being too much... Aye, I'm laughing too. The irony is not dead. This subject itself needs a whole post, it will come. Protecting others from my words can't keep happening.
Luckily for me my friend called bu****it and ultimately the submission was where the fear was sitting, so yes, bu****it. I had to press submit and I did. November 14th 2025, a fear was put to bed forever.
Finally, and most importantly, since I wrote the piece I've spoken it aloud three times, each of the times it's been met with nothing but praise, and many many tears. Here's a secret, all I've wanted to do is speak it again and again. I don't really know why, it's just how I feel. Like a compulsion almost. Inspired undoubtedly, by Andrea Gibson, a person I have adored since the first line I ever heard them speak. A person who claims to only know five words, yet somehow who through speaking her five words has impacted my life on levels that are hard to capture. A person who I could never hope to be anything like, but who makes me want to try to be like them, just a tiny bit. A person who no longer exists on this plane and yet has managed to drag my soul, all the versions of wee me on to a stage, and get me to stand there for 7 whole minutes, reading my words to an audience, and not for one second did it feel, too much. It was perfect. It was everything I didn't even know I needed. I decided 3 seconds before hitting the stage it was happening. It isn't imprinted in my brain yet, so I read from my phone. I stumbled a couple of times, nobody noticed. It was perfect.
Aftefwards, a man came to me and told me I made him cry, I wasn't shocked as such, because there's been a lot of tears surrounding this piece of writing, then he said, "on the first line you got me, the tears came on the first line Lauren." He was shocked. As he said it, the tears came again. That moved my world. Nothing would ever be the same...
You see, Andrea got me, just like that. On the first line. On a stormy night in Guarda, without any prep, dresssd in 300 layers and without even knowing it was possible, one of my dreams came true, for a tiny second I was a tiny bit like Andrea. Wow. What a life! I'm laughing as I type this and there's a single tear falling. A tear of recognition.
I'm sharing this here for two main reasons, one because last night I think my life changed forever. You see, I've never been less scared, there wasn't one belly drop, not one shaking finger, my voice doesn't even seem to be trembling. A me that never has existed before was born, fully in her power.
Owning her presence, owning her words. Owning her fear. She fancied saying hello here, because she's here to stay. I think speaking my words aloud is something I was actually born to do, I've just been hiding from it for so long because I was scared of being too much. F**k that.
The new me is here to stay.
If this resonates in anyway, share so others can read it too.
Finally, if you don't know of Andrea Gibson, and you're curious how a person can change your life through words alone, or you love poetry, or spoken word, or you just need a remarkable human being to give you hope, then please please go check them out.
As insane as it is, last night Andrea was right with me in that moment, a moment that might have just gifted me one of the greatest ever gifts in my life. Right beside me, living on. Thank you Andrea, thank you for allowing me to know this was possible and holding me in the exact moment it was meant to happen.
They can hear me, trust me.
Nothing is ever impossible. In this plane, or the next, it doesn't matter. We hold all our power, we only ever stop ourselves, we can and never could be, too much.
Let your soul sing, please.
Mind Yersel' ❤️
