Psiholog Aida-Marina Săraru

23/01/2022

Psychotherapy holds out the promise of being able to help us with many of the problems that ruin our lives: anxiety, self-hatred, shame and confusion... But ...

25/06/2021

Please tell me y’all can relate?⁣
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This just happened to me tonight. I am proud of myself for being able to meet myself with much more self compassion these days. My response can sound something like “Aw, my poor lil brain. I tried my best to make a decision and disengage and tonight I couldn’t. That is ok. I am going to take some deep breaths now and try to regulate my nervous system and eat. I’ll keep working on this.”⁣
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ADHD doesn’t feel like a cluster of symptoms or traits for me, it just feels like who I am. Sometimes, like tonight, it’s really frustrating and has detrimental impacts on my well being. It can make basic survival challenging - feeding myself, hygiene, taking care of my home, etc. I’m pretty confident it has contributed to my chronic illnesses and certain it contributes to my anxiety and depression.⁣
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AND the same mechanism responsible for me forgetting to eat tonight is also what makes me a successful entrepreneur. What has me learning a ton of new hobbies all the time. What had me go full on obsessive mode learning about adhd so I can share with you. That hyper focus, that obsessiveness, that interest based nervous system…. it is responsible for some of my worst times and some of the best.⁣
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I get asked all the time if I would choose to not have ADHD if I could and the answer is no. While I am *very* clear on the very serious negative implications it has in my life, it’s a package deal and I’m here for it.⁣
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Not sure where this whole speech came from lol. Clearly I’m still in a hyper focused mode, so gonna just roll with it and if you are too and made it this far, ayyooooooo! Big hugs for you. Would love to hear your thoughts :)⁣
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Love,⁣
Jak

24/02/2021

https://www.facebook.com/364757537639283/posts/864431207671911/?substory_index=0

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Here is an updated screen shot of what my ADHD reality looks like:⁣
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I got a financial scholarship law school, got a high GPA, then went on to fail the bar because I had an anxiety attack due to the air conditioner sound.⁣
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I experience chronic fatigue with bursts of energy.⁣
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I have am a successful full time entrepreneur and am very creative and innovative. Some days I am all in working 12 hours on my biz, & others I have zero motivation and do nothing.⁣
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My hyperactivity is mostly in my mind - a never ending slew of obsessive thoughts or new ideas bouncing all over the place.⁣
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I get very hyper at night and if you’re close with me and I trust you, you know that.⁣
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I experience anxiety attacks, often due to the chronic overwhelm I feel. (these are less common now - yay!)⁣
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I am an emotional rollercoaster - one moment I feel on top of the world, and the next I feel so low I can’t get out of bed.⁣
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I’m great in a crisis.⁣
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I can hyperfocus like a beast, but choosing when to turn that focus on or off is is another story.⁣
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I am highly sensitive, empathic and intuitive.⁣
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I deal with chronic health issues.⁣
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I am always early, because I have learned to overcompensate for my ‘time blindness’.⁣
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I often feel like a fraud for my accomplishments, because the way I achieved them was different than my peers. (ex: not doing anything for 3 months then pulling 3 all nighters and teaching myself everything).⁣
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I forget and lose things all the time.⁣
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I’m adventurous, risk taking and fun.⁣
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I am very sensitive to rejection and often think people hate me.⁣
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I am constantly stuck in decision fatigue/analysis paralysis and exhaust myself just by thinking.⁣
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To me, ADHD is just who I am and I choose to accept and embrace myself through the ups and the downs.⁣
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Whatever your experience is, it’s real and valid. We are not a monolith. This is my story (dun dunnn) — cue law and order intro. What is yours?

31/03/2020

https://www.facebook.com/364757537639283/posts/641756006606100/

That moment during quarantine when you realize not having enough time is actually not the reason you haven’t been productive.⁣⁣
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Let me be clear - this post is NOT to shame people for not being productive during this time, it’s meant to do the opposite, so please read the post.⁣⁣
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A lot of ADHD folx have expressed a lot of shame and negative self talk around not being productive right now, even if you have extra time on your hands. I know I have bumped up against thoughts like - “oh so it’s NOT that I don’t have the time to clean my house, am I just lazy?…..” The answer is a hard NO.⁣⁣
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If you’ve been s**t talking yourself about this or feeling confused, here are my thoughts:⁣⁣
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1️⃣The situation we are in has caused our nervous systems freak the eff out. Ya know - fight, flight, freeze, fawn kind of vibes. Many people have entered the “frozen” zone, where you may feel super stuck and even paralyzed. This is a normal response to the situation we are in. You are not lazy or overreacting, your body is trying to protect you and is in survival mode.⁣⁣
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2️⃣The “time” that we have right now isn’t the same as if we are to choose to carve out some time to work on stuff. It is forced on us, under very stressful circumstances. Our routines have been shifted, which often doesn’t work well for our ADHD brains. So be kind to yourself.⁣⁣
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3️⃣No matter what you are experiencing right now, it is valid, normal and perfectly fine. I encourage you to explore what you are needing right now. You can do this with a friend, a coach, a therapist or w/ your journal. Support and community are very important right now, so I invite you to seek that in whatever way feels aligned. Authentically ADHD membership starts this Wednesday and will be an amazing space to build community, explore what you need in a safe way without trying to fix you and access resources geared towards both self compassion AND working on goals (if that is what you want to do). If you feel called towards that, comment “interested” below or send me a message to chat more. There is also more info in the link in my bio and in my story highlight titled “membership.”⁣⁣
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You’re not alone.⁣⁣
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Love always, Jak 👽🧠

06/02/2020

https://www.facebook.com/1339965909481783/posts/1985233044955063/

20/01/2020

20/07/2018

eu: "A., tu ştii ce este un weekend?"
A.(4 ani): "Da, sigur că ştiu."
eu: "Îmi spui şi mie?"
A.: "E un loc în care stai."

26/02/2018

Using five-second rule, you are interrupting what researchers call habit loops that get encoded as closed-loop patterns in your basal ganglia, the part of the brain responsible for every habit, every behavior that you repeat without even thinking about. When you go 5-4-3-2-1, it interrupts this process and awakens your prefrontal cortex, the part of the brain that you need to be awake when you are changing behavior, when you are learning new things. When you repeat it, it becomes a starting ritual that prompts you to have confidence and courage. But in the beginning it interrupts patterns of behavior that you do on autopilot, it helps you to assert control and it teaches you how to become the kind of person that moves from thinking about something, to actually doing.

The moment you have an instinct to act on a goal, apply the 5 second rule. ►►►►Get THE 5 SECOND RULE book here: http://amzn.to/2xTKdfv (affiliate) ==========...

26/01/2018

About misdiagnosis and the emotional side of ADHD

Two children were interviewed and asked the same questions. Both children are six years old, in the first grade, and have the same family structure, but thei...