24/05/2023
Fragments from "All for a Liberace Smile? Amis in the Dentist’s Chair"
By Adam Begley • 05/29/00
Freud, Mr. Amis reminds us, had much to say about teeth: “how, for instance, dreams of tooth loss are manifestations of sexual doubt and fear.” Dental drama dominates the first half of this memoir; it inspires this dazzling passage: “I know all about the expert musicianship of toothaches, their brass, woodwind and percussion and, most predominantly, their strings, their strings (Bach’s ‘Concerto for Cello’ struck me, when I recently heard it performed, as a faultless transcription of a toothache–the persistence, the irresistible persuasiveness). Toothaches can play it staccato, glissando, accelerando, prestissimo, and above all fortissimo. They can do rock, blues and soul, they can do doo-wop and bebop, they can do heavy metal, rap, punk and funk. And beneath all this anarchical stridor there was a lone, soft, insistent voice, always audible to my abject imagination: the tragic keening of the castrato.”
Yes, Mr. Amis had tooth troubles; he had them all yanked out. To pay for his oral and maxillofacial surgery, he demanded a $1 million advance for The Information . To get that advance he ditched his old agent (Pat Kavanagh, wife of his pal Julian Barnes) and hired Andrew Wylie (known in the British press as “the Jackal”). At about the same time, Mr. Amis left his wife, the mother of his two sons, and moved in with the writer Isabel Fonseca. The British press turned all this into a sordid story of betrayal and vanity, and Mr. Amis’ unstated aim here seems to be to assert beyond any doubt that he had his mouth rebuilt not for “a Liberace smile,” but because he had no choice. If you don’t already know about the gossip column calumny ( cosmetic surgery? Shame on him! ), if you don’t know who Pat and Julian and Andrew and Isabel are, Experience will seem cryptic and coy, its insistence on dentistry baffling.