03/04/2024
"Treat yourself" or "Do what feels good" are phrases that likely come to mind when we think of self-care, and while bath bombs, scented candles, and fuzzy blankets can definitely help us unwind, self-care doesn't always involve pampering yourself.
That's right: What many of us consider self-care is often confused with self-soothing, a related but separate skill in our wellness toolbox. Self-soothing and self-care are both valuable tools in our wellness arsenal and while the two practices are related, there are also some distinct differences, like timing and consistency.
So, how do we differentiate between the two?
The World Health Organization (2009) defines self-care as "the ability of individuals to promote health, prevent disease, and cope with illness and disability with or without the support of a healthcare provider." Self-care, in short, is doing things to promote your own wellbeing in the long run. It often involves a degree of consistency, habit-building, and delayed gratification.
Self-soothing, on the other hand, is an emotional regulation strategy used to regain equilibrium after an upsetting event (Thompson, 1994; Gross, 1998). It includes extrinsic and intrinsic processes involved in monitoring, evaluating, and modifying emotional reactions. These processes aim to calm the current distress by diminishing primarily negative emotions and corresponding physiological arousal, eventually resulting in homeostasis. This means that self-soothing acts are more direct as they provide immediate relief and instant gratification, while self-care more often includes lifestyle changes.
Both are significant aspects of self-regulation and wellbeing, though, and one cannot replace the other. It is equally important to know how to calm yourself down in an emotionally activating situation and to habitually engage in self-loving practices that leave a lasting effect on your health. Besides, some activities, like going for a walk in the nature or practicing mindful meditation, can fall under both categories! When and how we use them, however, can be different.
Which one are you more familiar with practicing?
