10/09/2018
Stress and Infertility
Infertility is a medical condition that can touch every aspect of your life -- from the way you feel about yourself, to your relationship with your partner, to your overall perspective on living. It can also be particularly stressful in that it creates a great deal of uncertainty and emotional upheaval in a couple's day-to-day world. If you've been struggling with infertility, you're probably no stranger to stress. But as overwhelming as your situation may seem at times, there are ways to reduce your anxiety. Here are steps to focus attention on your mind and body -- and bring a calmer perspective to your life.
1. Acknowledge your feelings. The first step in reducing stress is to understand that what you're feeling is completely normal. Going through infertility tests and procedures month after month can be emotionally, physically, and financially draining. And feeling as if you have no control over your body -- or the ultimate outcome of your treatments -- can be stressful and debilitating as well. For many couples, wanting a biological child has been a lifelong dream. But through infertility, that dream has been shattered, or at least temporarily put on hold.
2. Share your questions and fears. As you deal with infertility, it helps to have people around who can help answer your questions, be sensitive to your feelings, and understand your fears and concerns.
3. Allow yourself to cry and be angry. By all means, don't try to repress your feelings of anger, guilt, or sorrow. If you need to cry about the "unfairness" of another pregnancy or birth announcement, go ahead and do so.
5. Keep a journal. A journal can be a comforting friend who's never too angry, upset, or busy to listen. Best of all, it's available at 3 a.m., when you wouldn't dream of calling a friend. As you record your thoughts, you may also uncover some insights you didn't know you had.
6. Stay connected to family and friends. Another step in reducing stress is to build a bridge back to your family and close friends. Though you may feel a strong connection toward friends or acquaintances who are having fertility problems, it also helps to allow those who are closest to you to offer their love and support. If your friends and relatives are uninformed about infertility, you'll need to educate them about what you're going through. You might recommend a good book on the subject, explain how certain remarks are insensitive (even if they're unintentional), or let your loved ones know how you want to be treated. For instance, you might say, "Let me cry when I'm upset," or "I can't really talk about baby showers right now."
7. Communicate with your partner. Infertility can take a toll on a marriage, often causing unspoken resentment, feelings of inadequacy, s*xual pressure, and tension between couples. What's more, a man and a woman might respond differently to the crisis, with men acting more emotionally distant and women more openly distraught. If you feel that the stress of infertility is causing a rift between you and your partner, it may help to seek out counseling. Even a few sessions with a good counselor who is knowledgeable about infertility can help you regain your footing as a couple and help you move forward again -- together.
8. Learn to breathe. Another good way to calm down is by practicing deep-breathing techniques, either alone or with your spouse. One exercise involves sitting comfortably, with your eyes closed, and taking long, slow, deep breaths. Breathe in and out through your nose (or in through your nose and out through your mouth), filling your diaphragm and chest with air. Feel the pleasure of filling yourself up slowly and calmly, then releasing the air. Try this exercise for five minutes whenever you're anxious, or with your spouse before talking about infertility. Being relaxed can make the conversation between the two of you feel less tense and more focused.