Integrative Psychotherapy

01/04/2025

🌿 The Power of “No”: How Saying No Builds Confidence and Protects Your Peace 🌿

Do you often find yourself saying “yes” to every request, even when it feels like too much? Many of us are conditioned to believe that saying “yes” makes us likable, helpful, or successful. But the truth is, constantly saying yes can lead to burnout, resentment, and a loss of self-worth. Saying “no” is not about being selfish—it’s about protecting your peace, setting healthy boundaries, and honoring your own needs.

From a psychodynamic perspective, this people-pleasing tendency often comes from a deeper fear of rejection or the desire for external validation. In our early relationships, we might have learned that approval and love were conditional upon our willingness to please others. As adults, this belief can manifest as an inability to say “no,” even when it’s in our best interest.

But here’s the truth: Saying no is a powerful act of self-respect. It creates space for self-care, allows you to prioritize what truly matters, and builds the foundation for stronger self-confidence. When you set boundaries, you protect your energy and show others (and yourself) that you value your time and well-being.

By learning to say “no,” you reclaim control over your life. You stop stretching yourself thin, and instead, you focus on what truly aligns with your values and goals. This shift builds true confidence—not in the approval of others, but in your own ability to honor yourself.

Remember, you don’t need to say “yes” to everything to be valuable or liked. You are worthy of respect and care, and saying no is an essential part of protecting your peace and living authentically.

💬 What’s one thing you can say “no” to today, knowing it will create more space for your own well-being?

26/03/2025

How to Recognize and Overcome Negative Thought Patterns Holding You Back

We all have that inner voice—the one that whispers doubts, replays past mistakes, and tells us we’re not “good enough.” Negative self-talk and limiting beliefs can quietly shape our reality, holding us back from growth, confidence, and joy.

But here’s the truth: just because a thought crosses your mind doesn’t mean it’s true!

✨ Recognizing Negative Thought Patterns:

- “I’ll never be good enough.” → Perfectionism trap
- “What if I fail?” → Fear of failure keeping you stuck
- “I shouldn’t feel this way.” → Suppressing emotions instead of processing them
- “Others have it worse, so I shouldn’t complain.” → Dismissing your own struggles

✨ How to Reframe and Overcome Them:

✔️ Notice the thought—Pause and ask, Would I say this to a friend?
✔️ Challenge it—Ask, Is this thought based on facts or just fear?
✔️ Replace it—Turn “I can’t do this” into “I am learning and growing.”
✔️ Practice self-compassion—Your thoughts don’t define you; your actions do.

One of my clients struggled with the belief “I’ll never be good enough.” Through our work together, they traced this back to their childhood, where they constantly felt they had to earn love and approval—whether through perfect grades or always pleasing others. Whenever they made a mistake, they were criticized rather than supported, which led them to equate self-worth with perfection.

As an adult, this belief manifested as intense self-criticism, fear of failure, and hesitation to take risks. But once they recognized where this thought pattern came from, they started challenging it. They practiced telling themselves: “My worth isn’t based on achievements. I deserve kindness”
Over time, they learned to embrace progress over perfection and take action with more confidence.

Healing starts with awareness. You are not your negative thoughts—you are the one who can choose to change them. 💙

🌱 What’s one negative thought you’re working on replacing? Drop it in the comments—I’d love to hear your journey!

17/03/2025

Case Study: From Burnout & Anxiety to Confidence & Self-Worth ✨

When my client first reached out, she was drowning in burnout. Anxiety was her constant companion, and no matter how much she did for others, she never felt truly appreciated. Overwhelmed and exhausted, she had given so much of herself that she no longer knew who she was or what she needed.

We began our work by looking at the root of these patterns. Through therapy, she discovered that her people-pleasing tendencies weren’t just behaviors—they were survival mechanisms she’d developed as a child. She learned that the only way to feel seen and valued was to put everyone else first, neglect her own needs, and constantly seek approval from others.

This behavior followed her into adulthood, where it affected her career, relationships, and self-esteem. Saying no was nearly impossible, and she silently hoped that by always helping, others would finally recognize her worth. Instead, she felt drained, invisible, and burned out.

💡 The Breakthrough

Through our work, she began to shift her perspective. She realized her worth wasn’t tied to how much she gave. We focused on building self-awareness, practicing self-compassion, and challenging the belief that her value came from constant self-sacrifice.

Over time, she:
✅ Learned to say no without guilt or shame
✅ Set clear boundaries in both work and personal life
✅ Stopped seeking external validation and focused on her own needs
✅ Prioritized her mental and emotional well-being, recognizing it wasn’t selfish
✅ Rediscovered her passions, starting a new hobby and carving out personal time

Today, she feels lighter. Happier. Free.

She no longer feels the need to prove herself to anyone—
because she finally knows her own worth.

And that has changed everything.

If you see yourself in the story of my client and you are ready to break free from the patterns holding you back, let’s talk.

Send me a DM, and let’s create lasting change in your life.

13/03/2025

From Healing the Body to Healing the Mind – My Journey as a Counsellor

For years, I worked as a facialist and massage therapist, helping people find relief from tension, aches, and stress.

Clients would leave my treatment room feeling lighter, but deep down, I knew their relief was temporary.

I started noticing a pattern—so many of their physical symptoms weren’t just about tight muscles or fatigue.

They were carrying stress, anxiety, and emotional wounds in their bodies.
I could ease the symptoms, but the pain always returned. The root cause remained.
And that realization changed everything for me.

I had always been fascinated by human behavior, psychology, and personal transformation.

But this was the moment I knew I had to do more.
I didn’t just want to help people feel better for an hour—I wanted to help them heal for a lifetime.

So, I made the leap.

I trained at a BACP-accredited school in London, became an Integrative Counsellor, and for the past three years, I’ve been honored to hold space for my clients in over 2.500 counselling sessions, helping them break free from:
✅ Anxiety that keeps them stuck in overthinking
✅ Self-doubt that holds them back from their true potential
✅ Old wounds and past experiences that still weigh them down

Counselling isn’t just about talking—it’s about transformation.

It’s about stepping into a stronger, more confident version of yourself.
It’s about finally feeling at peace with who you are and moving forward without the weight of the past.

If this resonates with you, I’d love to support you.

Send me a DM with the word ‘READY’, and let’s talk about how we can work together.

07/11/2024

Have you ever find yourself stuck in negative self-talk? Thoughts like, 'I'm such a failure' or 'I'll never be good enough' can feel convincing, but they’re rarely true.
Negative self-talk often develops from early life experiences, especially in childhood. When we face criticism, high expectations, or negative feedback from parents, teachers, or peers, we start to internalize those messages. Over time, these experiences create 'inner voices' or parts of our psyche that echo those criticisms, almost as a way to protect us from failure, rejection, or disappointment. But what started as a way to help us adapt can limit us later by making us feel like we’re not 'good enough' or that we need to meet impossible standards.
Understanding this origin helps us see that these thoughts aren’t the whole truth—they’re just old voices shaped by our past.
In adulthood, negative self-talk chips away at our confidence and keeps us from reaching our full potential. But here’s how to fight back:
1. Reframe those thoughts—change 'I'm a failure' to 'I'm still learning.'
2. Show self-compassion—talk to yourself like you would to a friend.
3. Challenge each thought—ask yourself, 'Is this really true?' More often than not, there’s no real evidence behind it.
Remember, these thoughts are often just the internalized voices of others from our childhood. You’re stronger than those negative thoughts, so start talking to yourself like someone you truly care about.

Check out OnlineTherapy’s video.

01/11/2024

24/10/2024

10/10/2024

22/02/2023

Abuse may take different forms, it can be physical, sexual, emotional, psychological and financial.
Emotional and psychological are the hardest to recognise but they are ver harmful. It will lower your self-esteem, you can beging to doubt yourself and doubt your perception of reality. In the end you may feel traped.
Emotionally abused people are often too wounded to endure the relationship any longer, but also too afriad to leave. So the cycle repeats itself, until something is done.
If you are in a place where you may be emotionally abused or you start seeing red flags, having psychotherapy can help you to put this relationship into perspective while also providing tools for overcomming the abuse.
Remember you are not alone!

17/02/2023

According to the attachment theory by Dr Bolby (1968) your adult bonds tend to mirror those we first established with your caregivers. ⁣
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Now think about your relationship with your caregivers when you were a child or teenager what message did you get back then about relationships? How your current relationships (romantic and friendships) looks like? Is that dynamic familiar to you? ⁣
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Childhood trauma can look like: ⁣
- having unavailable emotionally father or mother⁣
- having narcissistic caregiver⁣
- witnessing or experiencing emotional/physical/sexual abuse⁣
- emotional neglect ⁣
- bullying ⁣
- history of severe illness or ongoing treatment ⁣
Just to name a few.⁣
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Going back to childhood and adolescences usually sheds some light on adult behaviour. The ways in which our caregivers interact with us, as well as each other, shape our view of the world and those around us. ⁣
This will in turn affect 3 fundamental structures: our sense of self, the way we communicate and how we form relationships. Unless we do the work to develop more self awareness of our behaviours we will usually repeat these same patterns in adulthood. ⁣
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Doing the work to unlearn dysfunctional patterns is essential to interpersonal growth and it’s possible.

17/02/2023

An apology in relationships is very important, helps rebuild trust, connection and upsets. ⁣
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But when someone hurts you and give you toxic or fake apology, it does makes things worst, as then you don’t feel seen, heard and respected! ⁣
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What does the toxic apology can sounds like? This post shares some examples. ⁣
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Often fake apology makes excuses, avoid responsibility and invalidate your emotions. ⁣
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Also when someone make apologies left and right without taking any real actions to improve themselves, that’s not an apology that’s a manipulation tactics. ⁣
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17/02/2023

Manipulation is the exercise of harmful influence over others. People who manipulate others attack their mental and emotional sides to get what they want.⁣
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Manipulation sometimes can be very subtle, you can’t really point finger at what is wrong. But your gut feeling is telling you that something is off. That’s why is worth having look at those behaviours and asking yourself a question if you are experiencing any of those. ⁣
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If you feel like you may be getting manipulate by loved one, friend, coworker it is important to reach out to a trusted resource to find help.