15/01/2023
Jealousy, becoming like poison in the blood.. Like a parasite taking place in our bodies that we need to dissect. Sit with it, get really juicy with the nasty feelings & thoughts that the toxics of jealousy creates in our system. Getting curious where it initiates, where it controls us, consciously/unconsciously. Understanding what it is holding us back from.
Practicing yoga off the mat, that daily work which has for me become impossible to dodge. Since my first yoga teacher training a magnifying glass is stuck in my hand.
We all have our own individual struggle for inner peace. The first two limbs in the Eight Limbs of Yoga, Yamas and Niyamas, guides us how to act towards ourselves & others and to self observe. Such as practicing self care, gratitude, less greed & jealousy, letting go of judgements, understanding the role of the ego. Getting a better understanding for who we are and how to live in alignment with our true self. Not letting our own complications becoming someone else’s problem.
I’ve lately felt a lot of jealousy in a certain area in my life. Creating a huge conflict in myself. Along the line of love growing stronger towards another human, along the same line we easily grow complicated emotions. Those often has nothing to do with the other human being but all to do with how we mirror through them and what they trigger in us. The reflections in that mirror of our consciousness that we need to look at, instead of act on. Understand and change our beliefs.
I’m challenged by love. I know somewhere it has all to do with love I need to find for myself and wounds I need to heal. I don’t want to live with jealousy, it is contaminated and takes away my authenticity, spark & creativity. So I practice sitting with the nasty emotions, viewing them, feeling them, watching them come & go, until I’m ready to let go. I cry, probably cause it hurts, the pain from the love I made unreachable for myself. It’s hard to reach all that beauty on the other side of this dark cloud. But there is only one way and it is straight through. 🖤
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