Melissa Abecassis - Relationship Coach and Counselling

19/12/2022

Does it happen to you that when you visit your family, you suddenly loose your social skills?

Perhaps the first few days (or hours sometimes) you think to yourself, wow I’m really doing well this time… and then some time later, something will happen…. and suddenly you regress back to teenage years and loose your well developed adult social skills.

We tend to forget our social body, the part of us that has learned to navigate in social contexts and adapt our behaviours to different situations. With our families and our closest relationships our core wounds get triggered and we can quickly become reactive instead of responding.

To read more about social bodies with a bunch of resources, tools and practices read this months newsletter.

Especially useful for those of us that get a bit triggered by our family and other close relationships.

👇Read the newsletter here👇

https://lnkd.in/dz9FUG6e

15/12/2022

Therapy & Coaching for Expats & the multi's.

I have joined a new clinic in Stockholm this month, Turning Point.

It is a perfect fit as they specialise in therapeutic support for individuals, couples and relationship who are internationals or migrants.

Thos of you who know me well, will know that I identify with the inbetweeners of this world and that living in countries that I don't come from is second nature to me.

It can be challenging to move to any country as an expat, feeling at home very quickly yet always learning new cultures. Often we celebrate learning about new parts of the world and welcome new traditions, but it can also be confusing not knowing the social norms of our new home, learning that something so totally accepted in our culture or even the culture we lived in last is frown upon in our new habitat. How do we balance being ourselves while also wanting to respect and integrate into a new culture.

Finding therapists that has experience of living in multiples countries and who are familiar to being a multi can be really comforting.

If you know anyone who is an expat, international or migrant looking for therapy , send them my way.

I offer individual therapy in Swedish and English (french coming soon) and I have colleagues who speak Spanish.

We all need support, its a human need. Should be as easy and accessible as booking a session with a hairdresser or pe.

Send me a message or book a call directly, the first connection call is free.



https://calendly.com/melissa-abecassis/40min-free-consultation-online

01/12/2022

Once a month, I hold a dance meditation class with .

What is dance meditation?

It is a space where we practice listening to the body and allowing it to lead the way, we give the body the front stage for a while.

Here we use the as a foundation for the meditation practice and I also blend in other tools and practices from and .

I guide the class gently to give movement and expression to what is coming up. As in meditation we cultivate awareness and consciousness, through our body and our dance. Allowing the body to express the way that it wishes to and in some ways enter a dialogue.

Curious to join?

We meet next Thursday 8 december at in Gamla Stan.

Booking link in the bio :)

Come dance with me 💛

👉 Tickets: https://psykedeliska-sllskapet.confetti.events/dansmeditation-4

👉 Fb event: https://www.facebook.com/events/781687323167053/781687336500385/

30/11/2022

We did it! 🎉

Laura Gottlieb and I have edited our second episode of Relational Sensitivity where we speak with the wonderful design researcher and interaction theorist Ann Light on dwelling better together, deliberate transformation, participative intimacy and of course relational sensitivity and how we relate to ourselves, each other and our world.

We loved speaking with and listening to Ann.

Do tell us how you relate, what thoughts it sparks and what else you would like to hear us dwell on with others.

For now, we celebrate! I must say that I have a newfound respect for podcasters out there and the skill it takes. Editing is a whole new process with so many learnings... many giggles have been shared. 🙃

Enjoy Episode 2 🥰

https://open.spotify.com/episode/2WY3nE1i36drh0Spdh1cZy?si=FXDBbb4aQo6W4GLKQRtPcA&utm_source=whatsapp

Episode · Relational Sensitivity · In this episode we speak to Professor Ann Light about design as a means to explore how to dwell better together in the context of sustainable futures. We talk about designing as 'social process' and inviting people on a journey of reflecting together. We also ref...

23/11/2022

What do you do after a conflict?

Do you have a process that you go to?

“Processing” means creating a space where you talk about the incident without falling back into it. The aftermath is a conversation were you are both sitting in the balcony looking back at the performance and where the disagreement happened.

Try these 5 steps developed by the when you are calm and feel emotionally distant to the event.

Message me to get the full guideline or book a check-up session.

17/11/2022

💛 HEART 💛

The FIRST organ to develop in the womb at about 5 weeks.

We are literally made to a beat, we grow in and become a person through rhythms. All of our parts are marinated with the beat of our heart.

Everyone is born to a DANCE and has a DANCER within them.

In movement meditation we us movement as a tool to be in a meditative presence. We connect our inner beat and the flow within us that gives us life force. As a way of cultivating awareness.

With the body.

With the breath.

With the heart.

It is a somatic practice - Somatic means OF THE BODY.

Its a meditation of the body.

Come dance tonight, ALL of you is welcome. It all has a space to express, All of it has a a movement and a home on the dance floor. The joyful, the sadness, the beautiful, the ugly, the sticky.... ITS ALL WELCOME.

Come dance with me 😘

FB event 👉 https://fb.me/e/1VOvYeHZQ

Tickets 👉 https://psykedeliska-sllskapet.confetti.events/dansmeditation-3

En förkroppsligande uppleve...

14/11/2022

Once a month in , I hold dance meditation classes in gamla stan in partnership with the wonderful 💛

This is not your typical dance class, its actually not a class at all, its an invitation to explore movement and dance as a life practice. What does this mean?? Yeah a bit vague right :)

Ok so practically, I give some guidance at the beginning with a dedicated theme (This month we explore emotions and how they live in our body), i bring some dance therapy games to explore a bit deeper and then we dance a wave where you can move in any way your body desires. What is a wave, you ask?

Its simply a set or playlist and in my sessions we use the 5 rhythms as our foundational map mixed with some other movement practices, this is as it sounds 5 different rhythms - Flow, Staccato, Chaos, lyrical and stillness.

It's a guided meditation where I give some soft instructions that you may or may not use. Exactly like in sitting meditation, you will hear what you need to hear. The only rule is that it is a movement meditation, so you are encouraged to move through what comes up for you internally. This month, we will give extra focus to our emotions and give them space in our body.

This is a space where everything is welcome, and this month all of your feelings are welcome to take space. The beautiful, joyful, ugly, sad and sticky.... all of it is welcome.

Give your head a rest, let your body lead for a bit :)

Come dance with me in Gamla stan on Thursday.

09/11/2022

Couples Therapy at 65 +

I had a client some time ago who was in her 60's.

She had done some training in the last years and realised she wanted more out of life. She was married for over 40 years with a house, grown-up children, about to retire and a husband she barely spoke to. The couple had endured some tragic life experiences that they never got support to process.

The grief had created such a rift between them that they barely spoke anymore. They chatted daily but hadn't shared deeply for over 15 years. When they did... they played the shame and blame game alongside criticism and passive aggressiveness.

Part of her wanted to leave him, part of her thought they could still have a nice life together. She lit up when I asked her how they met and if they had been in love?

'Ohh yes, we were all over each other at that time, I really liked him and he really liked me'

Timidly, she told me that they still have s*x but not so often anymore.

'Well, we are an older couple... well into our 60's'

She looked at me, I smiled gently at her and didn't need to say anything.... she stopped herself and said...

'It doesn't matter does it, our age don't matter when it comes to s*xuality'

I didn't need to, she validated herself.

Although, her husband had been reluctant at first, he agreed to do this journey of relationship therapy with her and they found a new way old way to connect. Able to meet retirement with love, connection and excitement.

So to grow together. And its never too late to be curious about your relationships with self and others.

*xuality

08/11/2022

, this awesome word coined by the wonderful sums up a lot of what we do in the therapy room.

With a client we will start surfacing various parts and start a process of discovery, learning to understand these parts of us and their purpose. It can be anything from critical voices, insecurities, destructive patterns.... we give them space and through various tools we give them a voice to be heard until we reach a point of understanding and can integrate this part with kindness and care. Its a vulnerable journey and one that is not always beautiful. Yet slowly, we get a bit kinder to ourselves.

Celebrating ourselves, and acknowledging our full self - including the parts we find challenging to accept. Working toward moments where we can look ourselves in the mirror and see our

A journey that is of course continuous throughout life and sometimes the moments gets a bit longer and other times the moments are miniscule. This too is flawsome.

What are your moments of flawsomeness?

.

04/11/2022

'You need to love yourself, before you can love someone else'

A sentence I hear often.

There was a period in which I had many clients who lived religiously with this sentence, it kept repeating in our sessions and I wondered what the lesson was for me. Of course, a sentence I also hear outside of the therapy room and that I catch myself thinking occasionally.

And yes of course there is a truth in this sentence...

Our relationship with SELF is our main life relationship.

And yes there is a truth that in order to give love, we must feel love inside and that love can only come from us.

And yes there is a truth in that, to receive love we need to feel worthy by loving ourself.

It is also true that the way we communicate with ourselves is how we communicate with others.

It's also true that a part of our wounds we need to tend to ourselves and nurture through self love.

and it's also true that we are responsible for all of the above and that nobody can take that responsibility for us.

AND YET....

It's also true that we do not need to do that journey alone.

It's also true that we are creatures of attachment and need to be in relationships.

It's also true that we don't need to be perfect in order to be in relationship, because we all carry imperfections.

It's also true that our love ones help us heal when they mirror our beauty to us.

It's also true that other humans have an immense impact on us and us on them.

It's also true that biologically we need to be in relationship.

It's also true that....

Life is complex, holding multiple truths and wisdoms.

There are a billion ways to live a life story and there are equally as many to heal, grow and develop.

What is your way?

-development

03/11/2022

I have always loved to dance.

As a teen, I took many dance classes from jazz, hip hop to salsa and tango. I felt at home at any party where dancing was the focus.

Then, in 2010, I met some pretty phenomenal humans in North London. One of them knew to bring me along to a dance meditation class, my first with the wonderful Cathy Ryan

There I was in a church in Islington, at the time a completely new idea, devotionally dancing in a church. I was raised jewish, I could appreciate the beauty of the church as a temple but to meditate, pray and be in a spiritual practice in a church.... at the time the thought made me giggle.

And of course, I was like a fish in water, I was home. This I understood, this was where I could speak freely, this was my most fluent language. and it still is until today.

Dance is the place where all is welcome, where I can process life and listen deeply. Where my body gets to speak, share and express its wisdom. Where, for a moment, I fully belong.

Thanks .with.joel for bringing me home 💛

So here I am 12 years later, sharing the practice myself. On a monthly bases in my hometown through

In the next class we will be dancing EMOTIONS = Energy in Motion.

Come dance with me. All of you is welcome, the beautiful, the joyful, the ugly, the grief. It all has a home and a space to be expressed.

Next class is on 17th November.

Mäster Olofs Gård in Stockholm.

https://psykedeliska-sllskapet.confetti.events/dansmeditation-3

01/11/2022