Wise Love - Sessions with KaSia Soraya

09/11/2025

09/11/2025

“People who deny the existence of dragons are often eaten by dragons. From within.”
― Ursula K. Le Guin, The Wave in the Mind: Talks and Essays on the Writer, the Reader and the Imagination
C.G. Jung
The Red Book.

09/11/2025

05/11/2025

"The doors to the world of the wild Self are few but precious. If you have a deep scar, that is a door, if you have an old, old story, that is a door. If you love the sky and the water so much you almost cannot bear it, that is a door. If you yearn for a deeper life, a full life, a sane life, that is a door."
~ Clarissa Pinkola Estés, Women Who Run With the Wolves
Artist: Three Women and Three Wolves (1892) by Swiss decorative artist Eugène Samuel Grasset (1845-1917)

04/11/2025

What if the felt sense is just this:
the tiny shift your body makes before you think.

A micro-lean toward.
A micro-pull away.

Not mystical.
Just your system telling the truth
faster than your mind can.

— with Wise Love
/Kasia Soraya

03/11/2025

The truth about our intimate relationships is that they can never be any better than our relationship with ourselves. How we are related to ourselves determines not only the choice of the Other, but the quality of the relationship. In fact, every intimate relationship tacitly reveals who we were when we commenced it. All relationships, therefore, are symptomatic of the state of our inner life, and no relationship can be any better than our relationship to our own unconscious.

~ James Hollis

03/11/2025

SE Föreningen Sverige invites you to a free seminar, November 3, 2025, on research in SE – held online in English

02/11/2025

Emotional Flooding

You’re not “too emotional.”
You’re feeling what was once impossible to feel.

When the system finally finds safety, frozen things thaw.
That thaw is intense.
It can feel like drowning, but it’s actually the body unfreezing time.

The wave isn’t here to break you.
It’s here to show you how to stay with yourself through it.

That is how regulation grows.
Not by shutting down — but by staying present, one breath at a time.

— Wise Love — Kasia Soraya Leffler

If you’d like to reflect here:
What does your body do when a feeling first arrives?
Does it rush, tighten, collapse, reach?
Naming that is the beginning of balance.

Write YES in the comments to book a free discovery call.

02/11/2025

Human Mind Prefers Simple Explanations Over Complex Truths

A new study uncovers why humans lean toward simple explanations even when the truth is complex.

Our minds prioritize observable causes, ignoring those that aren’t immediately visible — a shortcut that can backfire in real-world decision-making.

This bias, rooted in our desire for clarity, often leads to oversimplification of complex issues.

Awareness of unseen or multiple causes may help counter this mental tendency.

01/11/2025

Before sharing the article, I want to name something clearly.

IFS is a strong and effective approach when it’s grounded in the body and in relationship.

The risk is that, without that grounding, the work can move too quickly, become too internal, and risk confusing emotional memory with historical memory. It can create sense of fragmentation rather than integration. Or simply become confabulation and performance.

I find it therefore invaluable in my work to hold IFS together with Somatic Experiencing and NARM — to support regulation, present-time orientation, and connection to the actual adult self.

In order to ensure the work stays in the body, in present time, and in real relationship, rather than drifting into intensity, memory-chasing, or fragmentation.

SE keeps us connected to physiology and pacing.

NARM keeps us oriented to present time and relationship.

The goal is never to “discover” trauma or to create intense emotional experiences.

The goal is to expand capacity to feel, regulate, and stay connected while doing so.

When IFS is practiced with slow pacing, reality-testing, grounded attachment aware and body-based orientation it is stabilizing and deeply reparative.

The issue is not “IFS vs. not IFS.” The issue is how it is used, and whether we stay rooted in the body, in the present, and in relationship. ✨

My understanding is that in IFS, the work is not to create intensity or uncover dramatic narratives (as it is suggested time and time again in the article).

The work is to help the system feel safe enough that parts can soften in the present. That requires slowness, attachment repair (part to Self), and rigorous reality-testing.

I think that therapists’s/practitioner’s responsibility is to reduce dissociation, not amplify it. to support relational connection, not rupture; to strengthen cohesive selfhood, not scatter it into characters. Here I said it.

If a client becomes more fragmented, more isolated, or more convinced of unverified trauma, that is not ‘deep work but it is a sign we are going too fast and have lost Self-led pacing.

Good IFS is gentle, grounded, and relentlessly oriented to now. 💓

That is my frame and stance I bring into this conversation and from here I would like respond to the article below.

With Wise Love
— Kasia Soraya

Internal Family Systems is a widely popular trauma treatment. Some patients say it’s destroyed their lives.