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Kaya Toast for the Soul, Singapore (2026)

06/03/2026

I see you sit with it sometimes — that weight, that echo, that voice from the past that won’t quiet down.

To me as the one hearing it? It's loud. It's dark. It's heavy.

I'll admit that, no doubt.

But compared to what you feel, that's nothing.

Because to you, it feels like everything.

---

And don't get me wrong.

I believe it when you say it is.

All the pain, all the mistakes, all the things you couldn’t control…

All the suffering, all the brokenness you feel.

Where it doesn't matter if they were things that happened from the distant past.

Or if they were things that happened not too long ago too.

But because of what happened, you can't help but see that...

These are the very things that seem to so loudy define you right now.

---

P. S. I have a client tell me they feel like a blight in the universe today.

I feel for them.

---

But listen closely okay, and this is me not trying to convince you too.

But my hope is that there will be moments in your day when you realize that as loud as it feels and sounds.

That it doesn’t mean it's all true.

You are not your trauma.

You are not your fear.

You are not the words that hurt, the silences that stung, the nights you cried alone.

You are the one who is still here.

And I see you.

---

The one who still breathes.

The one who still feels, still hopes, still reaches for something better.

Even when it feels impossible, even when the past seems to shout over your every thought —
there is light inside you.

Quietly, persistently, waiting for you to notice it.

And one day, maybe today, maybe tomorrow, maybe next year —

I hope things change for you.

Not because the past is gone, but because you deserve a better future.

For now, know that being here, being you, is more than enough.

💙

P. S. For N, for C - I'll be first in line to buy your book when it comes out :)

18/02/2026

I don't know about you but there were days in my past where I felt like I was a mistake.

Whether it's with friends or family

I was a mistake seemingly unwanted by them all.

--

It's the little things you know?

Sometimes feeling like I didn't say the right thing to fit in.

Other times, feeling like I couldn't resonate with what people were talking about (e. g. Football)

Sometimes, wondering if I'm being too sensitive about what people say.

And if it was sensitive ol' me feeling this way.

So I try my best to smile through it all.

--

But then there were moments that made this apparent too.

Like seeing my "friends" hanging out without me.

Somehow not invited.

So I guess, maybe it's true after all.

That indeed, I'm a mistake.

Someone to be forgotten and erased, a mess nobody wants to see anymore.

--

But across my life I've learnt something deeply important:

Feeling like a mistake often comes from deep need of trying to belong

Especially so when we try to fit into spaces that were never meant for us.

Spaces that don’t see our softness.

Or align with with who we are.

Our values, our sensitive, our depth.

Our way of loving and existing in the world.

And just because this isn't recognised, it doesn’t make us wrong.

It makes the spaces that we tried so hard to fit into, the perfectly wrong spaces for us too.

And to you out there, going through this hurt right now.

This rejection.

I know it aches.

It leaves marks.

It makes hope feel dangerous.

--

But even so — my wish to you is that you don't give up okay?

Because just because we’ve been misunderstood,

overlooked,

or left behind

It doesn’t mean there aren’t people and places
that will love us for exactly who we are.

I've found mine.

And you will find yours too :)

With kindness,
Hernping

❤️

P. S. One of the new initiatives we are coming up with is to open up .sg as a third space every Wed fortnightly for people to come mingle, be mindful, talk and find a belonging.

I hope to see you there friend.

Maybe we can be friends too :)

11/02/2026

Because some of us have been tired for a very long time.

Tired of being strong.

Tired of understanding everyone else.

Tired of carrying things we never should’ve had to carry in the first place.

--

Some of us grew up too fast.

Some of us loved people who couldn’t love us back properly.

Some of us kept going even when quitting would’ve made sense.

And no one really saw it.

--

But we know.

We know the nights we held ourselves together.

The mornings we showed up anyway.

The quiet battles no one clapped for.

So when I say I hope we find an ending we deserve..

I mean I hope we find peace that doesn’t feel temporary.

Love that doesn’t feel conditional.

Friendships that don’t require shrinking.

Work that doesn’t cost us our soul.

--

I hope we find spaces where our nervous system doesn't feel like it's constantly under fire.

Where joy doesn’t feel suspicious.

Where we don’t have to keep proving we’re worthy of staying.

Not because we were perfect.

But because we endured.

Because we softened instead of hardened.

Because we kept choosing to try again.

Because we’re still here.

--

And maybe the ending we deserve

isn’t some grand reward.

Maybe it’s simply this:

A life where we feel safe being ourselves.

Take care,
Hernping

💙

08/02/2026

This week happens to be week I've been surrounded by "grief".

Not so much for me personally (don't worry).

But something happening to be people and loved ones around me.

---

A lifelong dream that suddenly got shattered.

A sudden lost of a beloved pet that is still young.

Saying goodbye to a muchloved one.

And grieving the lost of a long term relationship too.

It's an understatement that grief is deeply painful.

Yet grief is something that happens to all of us.

---

I don't like grief.

It stings.

Even though I'm not the one directly facing this grief.

It's been painful witnessing them too.

And I think with a lot of things that happen to us in life, it's common for us to want to make sense of things.

But sometimes there are no answers to this.

And we are left wondering

"Why?"

Why did this have to happen?

--

Sometimes there are just no good answers to this.

And that's why I think I want to say this to you out there, if this is something you are going through...

You don't have to find an answer.

You don't have to see a lesson or meaning in this.

At least not right now.

It's okay to grief.

Just grief.

Because it hurts.

And you are allowed to simply grieve, because grief and love are two parts of the same coin.

We grieve because we love.

Take care,
Hernping

P. S. Step by step okay?

04/02/2026

I think it's an incredibly disempowering thing.

To have tried to fit in, time and time again.

Just to feel rejected just because of who we are.

It's makes us feel flawed.

It makes us feel unaccepted.

Like there's just something deeply and fundamentally wrong with us.

Because you see, I think all of us long for a sense of acceptance.

Belonging.

Whether be it friends, or even be loved.

But when that doesn't happen.

Especially time and time again.

Doesn't all evidence point to the fact that yes?

There it's me?

That I'm not good enough?

---

What really inspires me and that I think is so deeply underrated...

Is being on a journey and watching people quietly and gently find change within themselves.

And the post today is inspired by not just one, but actually several of the wonderful people and clients I've come across.

Where despite having gone through the most painful of relational rejections.

Even pure abandonment in some.

They've sat down and processed these deeply painful emotions.

And didn't give up on the possibility of what's to come.

---

You see, and again this point is such an important one.

We all long to be loved, understood and accepted don't we?

But that can never truly be done be shrinking ourselves.

All that does it puts us at the mercy of others.

Telling us "this version of us is not good enough".

At the same time, realizing that adapting and trying to fit ourselves into spaces that dont fit us.

Just makes us end up feeling lonely, isolated and still not good enough.

So we give up the act.

Understanding that it's not eveyrone will accept us.

And that doesn't mean there's anything wrong with us either.

Yet still we can choose ourselves.

To show up as ourselves.

Some people will go.

But wonderfully enough, this makes space for the right people to come.

Just give it time okay?

Know that it's a two way street too.

We can do our best to meet people's needs.

But don't forget that your needs are important too.

(because that's what it means to be truly seen, understood and accepted as you for "you")

Take care,
Hernping

P. S. Dedicated to A, JY, and to my past self too.

25/01/2026

One of the most important questions I've learnt to ask myself is this:

"Am I struggling right now? And what is it I'm struggling with?"

--

The funny thing I have to tell you though is that I'm on vacation right now.

Spending my last night in Taiwan before heading back to Singapore tomorrow.

And holidays and vacations should be fun and happy isn't it?

Don't get me wrong, it was.

I had a heck of a lot of fun.

But I find myself tired on the last day of this break of mine.

I guess tired of being in the city, amongst crowds, and the noise being way too loud

And in an unfamiliar place too.

But at the same time, not really super looking forward to coming back to home or reality either..

And you know what I think?

I think it's super annoying.

To be caught up in place where you don't really like where you are right now.

But not knowing what would make it better too.

--

Okay so I've decided.

That instead of wanting things to be any different from what I'm experiencing right now.

I'm going to check in with my experience instead.

The noise?

It's loud as heck, but no doubt an experience too.

The crowd?

Fair enough, I'm going to move away a little.

Going back home to reality?

That's for tomorrow I guess.

Tonight is tonight.

I guess I'll just do my best :)

Take care,
Hernping

31/12/2025

How do I feel about the year ending? I guess I haven't really thought about it that much.

All I know is that today is today.

Tomorrow is going to be tomorrow.

And I'll keep doing what I love.

--

But I thought I'd take some time to send my best wishes to all of you in the above.

Cause after all, aren't we just traveling through time together?

You and me, right here and right now?

And I guess in that sense that's what is most important to me.

That you're here.

And that I'm here too.

And together, we will embrace whatever is to come :)

Happy new year!
Hernping

--

P. S. You can purchase these posts as a 2026 calendar in the link below!

Proceeds will go to providing my dogs, soba and Mandu, with nutritious snacks to come :)

www.feelsobaandmandu.com

(not a real link)

Bye!

28/12/2025

Here's a post on what I do when I feel overwhelmed.

Because when I'm overwhelmed, it oftens feel like I'm in a state of struggle.

Like something very dangerous is happening right at this moment too.

So my mind and body starts to go on high alert.

My nervous system full on activated.

Panicking, anxious, overwhelmed.

Something needs to be done.

Right now! But what? I don't know!

--

Most of us who have never been allowed to feel our feelings will see them as threats.

Threats that show up suddenly, or triggered by someone or something that just happened.

And what do we do?

We react to it, just like we've always done.

Fight, flight, freeze, fawn - you know the drill.

--

But here's the thing, is your reaction actually serving to help make things better?

Or is your reaction something you've been conditioned to do for a long time now?

For example, fighting - it might mean we go into overthinking and panic mode

When we freeze, we try our best to distract or numb away our fears.

But what happens to this part of you that carries a very valid fear?

Does it just somehow up and disappear?

--

Nope, because all we are doing is delaying the inevitable.

That part of you?

That feeling there?

It carries a message desperately needing you to hear.

Go to it.

Turn inward to this part of you instead.

They are activated because there is a very real threat, a very real fear.

And the more we try to get rid of it - the more it pushes back.

Saying to us "why aren't you listening! Can't you see this is important?"

--

So listen.

These parts of you may not know how best to communicate this message to you.

Understandably of course, especially if you've been pushing these parts away of yours for years.

But you can learn, we can all learn.

Go in, to that part inside of you that fears.

Listen, just as you would to a small child you hold dear.

And then, only then, will you find true comfort.

Knowing that you're not alone in this discomfort.

That you have you, and your parts have you.

Never alone, all of you, learning to be connected.

Take care,
Hernping

P. S. Dedicated to my clients doing this very difficult work with me :)

21/12/2025

I think there's alot of us out there.

Spending our lives thinking, worrying and caring alot for the people around us.

So much so that there are days like these when we just feel tired.

Perhaps broken.

When I say care - it doesn't haven't to mean that actively supporting someone too.

It can also mean that we are on a constant look out for their emotions.

Making sure they aren't getting upset or mad or angry.

Making sure that they are alright.

So somehow you can be alright too.

And you know, that's just downright tiring.

Being a carer for others.

Especially when it feels like no one is caring for you in return to.

--

To you out there.

I see you.

You deserve to be acknowledged.

And just like I did tonight, let's maybe take a moment to turn inward to that part within ourselves that's carrying this burden.

And say:

"I'm acknowledge that we feel tired today."

"We deserved to be cared for too".

Take care,
Hernping

P. S. See if you can get a sense of letting go of the need to struggle with this part of you. That it's okay to be tired. That it's okay to allow this tired part of you to just be there too.

Because it's not there to just complain or whine or be a nuisance. It's there because it's coming from a very valid place inside of you :)

15/12/2025

"They should have tried harder".

"It's their fault we suffered so much".

Was what someone said to me about their seven year old self.

Which to tell you the truth, at times truly breaks my heart.

And no doubt, this person went through really hard things in life.

From being diagnosed with a chronic physical condition from when they were a child.

Having to spend much of their childhood in a hospital setting.

Then still having to juggle school somehow.

And it's no wonder with the weight of the world on this young person's shoulders.

They started to face various forms of childhood depression and anxieties.

Feeling like a burden to their family, to others.

And at the mere age of seven and onwards.

Started to wonder to themselves.

"Wouldn't it be better if I wasn't here?"

"If I left this world and disappeared?"

:(

--

You were but a child, still learning how to name your feelings.

Still figuring out the world.

Still needing others, lacking the ability to look after yourself.

And yet somehow, years on - the blame still landed on yourself.

"I should have tried harder then".

You said.

Then maybe all of this wouldn't happen.

But you were a child.

You needed guidance, love and protection.

Know that as children, you don't know the things you know now.

But yet for some reason, you experienced what you did.

And you turned the blame inward.

But it's not your fault that you did.

Because you were a child - you just wanted to be loved and accepted.

Like all children do.

To be accepted just as you are.

To be told that you were enough.

And feel enough.

And to never feel like a burden.

--

"It's not your fault".

To that person, I hope you know this.

"It's not your fault, it's not your fault."

You were only doing your best.

"It's not your fault that this happened to you".

No one would ever choose this.

And my biggest hope for you out there today, to whoever you are.

"None of this is your fault".

I hope someday, you'll feel this.

With love,
Hernping

Ps. Dedicated to S - and Lil ping too :)

10/12/2025

It's funny sometimes, how uneasy it makes me feel.

When I know that someone out there is upset at me.

It's like a silent alarm goes off, inside of me.

My body reacting to the sudden loss of "peace".

A tight chest.

A sinking stomach.

A rush to somehow fix and control whatever it is.

--

And I know it's not because I’m controlling by nature.

I sure as heck know I'm definitely not.

But because something inside me tells me that any sign of potential conflict meant danger.

That losing someone’s approval or appreciation meant losing safety to me.

--

But here’s what I guess I’m still slowly learning:

That people being upset with me doesn't mean I’m unsafe.

That their disappointment or unhappiness doesn't have to be a threat.

Nor is it something I have to fix.

That sometimes even if I try my best, people are inevitably still going to get upset.

But that responsibility is for them to manage, my responsibility is to manage being "me".

And never to again lose "me".

--

So cognizantly I try, whenever the uneasiness arises.

I place a hand on my heart and tell that old part of me:

“You’re not in danger anymore.”

“You don’t have to fix this right now.”

“People are allowed to feel what they feel.”

But for me, the most important thing I can do in this moment.

Is to know that I'm being true to what matters deeply to me.

Take care,
Hernping

💙

P. S. Had to let a counsellor go recently due to unethical behaviour (again) and that bothered me quite a bit.

But I guess what I'm proud of is that this feeling, though valid, came up for just a bit.

And then, though it stayed for a while I could let if go off on its own.

Knowing that stood for my values and my beliefs.

:)

08/12/2025

Someone asked me the other day, "If someone needs help but I don't feel like I can help them - does that make me a bad person?"

And I hope you know the answer is this.

No, it definitely does not.

And it's definitely doesn't mean you're bad and unkind too.

--

We are all human.

And in our humanness we only have so much energy each and everyday.

That level of energy?

That's not for anyone else to define - only you can.

Because only you know you at the end of the day.

So if you feel like you're up to it and have the capacity, go for it :)

Shine that light for others, be a presence, you can even guide the way.

But even for myself, because I'm only human.

Sometimes I have to accept that I have to say no and know that that's okay.

--

So don't feel pulled to over stretch yourself.

Just because someone is in need and someone doesn't feel okay.

Your presence matters, of course it does.

But first check in with yourself and see if today is such a day.

And if it's not, then it's not selfish to turn your care inward.

You deserve all the care you that you give others too.

And know that by doing that, you're also doing what's best.

To fill your own cup so that when you have enough for yourself.

Then and only then you can share some of that with others too.

Take care,
Hernping

P.s. You've got this - keep going!

Kaya Toast for the Soul

06/03/2026

18/02/2026

11/02/2026

08/02/2026

04/02/2026

25/01/2026

31/12/2025

28/12/2025

21/12/2025

15/12/2025

10/12/2025

08/12/2025

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