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Kaya Toast for the Soul, Singapore (2025)

26/11/2025

A reminder for hard days.

Like today.

--

We may not know it now, but in time we are going to be okay.

Hernping

💙

💙

💙

💙

💙

Today is my birthday.

I like my birthday.

I hate my birthday.

Like some of you out there, my birthday is a struggle for me too.

A day of incredible inner conflict.

A part of me wanting to just be happy and celebrate.

A part of me remembering all the trauma from the past on this particular day too.

--

So I found myself with a war in my head today.

Many parts of me struggling to gain control of the current situation.

But as conflicts do, I couldn't find any reconciliation.

And continued to struggle more and more too.

"I should be happy today."

"Why am I not happy".

--

So you know what?

To be honest, I don't have an answer for this just yet.

No answer for "how to make today any better".

But maybe that's just it too.

That I can just let today be whatever it is right now.

And at least not struggle so much in vain.

And to stop being at war with myself too.

--

Still figuring it out too.

Take care,
Hernping

20/11/2025

You know what I love?

I love authentic conversations.

I guess that's why I love my work so much.

Being able to be present with someone willing to be vulnerable.

Then the willingness to be vulnerable myself.

And there we are - creating a space to just be seen.

Because I think for many of us, the idea of taking up space seems to be downright scary.

The idea of being too much.

Whether it's being too loud, too much or too proud

And even ironically even being too quiet?

The fear of rejection and judgment makes us weary.

--

I think there's so much importance in being accepted for who we are.

Not having to try so hard to just fit in.

For it's a very lonely thing to feel sometimes.

That the only way we can be accepted is by being someone else.

--

You were never meant to fit into tiny spaces.

Your feelings, your voice, your existence —
they were all meant to be seen.

But I get it, that might seem impossible to some of out there.

Especially if we've been hurt before for just being "me".

--

To you out there, I want you to know that that shouldn't have happened.

That the world shouldn't fall apart when you show up as yourself.

I hope you continue, to be authentically yourself.

The wrong people will leave.

But the right ones will come in.

P. S. Forgive yourself for the times you didn't know better. Aren't we all on a learning journey together too?

It's not your fault that no one ever taught you what's right or what's wrong - you did what you had to fit in. And my biggest hope is don't give up on that part which is truly yourself.

You can be loved.

You will be loved.

Just as you are.

You deserve to be seen.

Take care,
Hernping

19/11/2025

When people say, “Just ask for help,”
They often don't see the whole story behind the silence.

They don’t see the child who learned that they were too "weak" or too "sensitive".

They don’t see the teenager who stopped sharing because it was always “the wrong time.”

They don’t see the young adult who kept everything together just to avoid being a burden.

All they see is the silence.

But you and I?
We know what lives underneath that silence.

Fear.
Shame.
The inadequate feeling of being a burden.

--

Because for many of us, especially those shaped by trauma, asking for help was never safe.

We learned early on that needing something meant
being a burden.
being “too much.”
And being met with silence, anger, or disappointment.

So we carried everything ourselves.

We became the strong one.
The one who doesn’t “need” anything.

But here’s the thing nobody tells you:

That wasn’t strength.
That was merely survival.

--

But here’s the lesson I’ve had to learn — slowly, painfully, gently:

Asking for help doesn't make us a burden.

Asking for help can also be an invitation.

It says:
“I trust you enough to let you see me.”
“I'm scared by I'm still going to let you in."
“And I’m letting you into my world — not to fix it, but to walk with me.”

Help is not a debt someone pays.

Help is a bridge.

A moment of connection we were never taught to believe we deserved.

—

So these days?

I honour the part of me that still hesitates.
That still fears being “too much.”
That still prepares for disappointment.

But with the right people - I've learnt to ask for help anyway.

And little by little, asking for help becomes less about being a burden—
and more about letting myself be human.

Take care,
Hernping

💙

P. S. I'm feeling sick today and actually felt bad about having to cancel some of my meetings and reschedule my sessions. But that's just me - a part of me that doesn't want to trouble people.

How nice it is to be met with care when I told them this truth instead.

And now I have the time and space to rest.

And the knowledge that I'm loved and okay.

09/11/2025

To anyone out there thinking you're behind.

You're not alone.

That was me for a long while too.

Failing out of my first year in junior college.

Doing horribly for my university entrance exams too.

Then when I got to uni, I failed three consecutive semesters before I finally found what I wanted to do.

Finally stumbling into psychology - a subject I could finally really resonate with.

But by the time I was done with my masters?

I was OLD.

Moreover, taking into consideration having to do compulsory national military in Singapore too.

And the fact that I studied and worked overseas in Australia?

By the time I got out to work..

I was so much older than my peers.

--

To tell you the truth, the inferiority complex hit me real hard.

It's never a nice feeling to feel so behind eveyrone else.

"It's okay you can go at your pace."

"You don't need to compare yourself to others."

As much as I like it how that sounds, I just couldn't internalize it back then.

You see, the truth is I was a failure.

While everyone around me seemed to be edging forward.

There I was, floundering.

Falling behind.

--

You see, the big lesson I've learned is all those quotes and all those anecdotes don't mean a single thing.

Not at least if you don't believe it yourself.

And for a long time now, I've carried this part of me.

The part that languishing in failure and shame of falling behind.

And I don't dismiss it, because to dismiss would be to neglect it.

Instead I go to it, and recognise it's pain.

And I say:

"Thank you for carrying this burden all this time. Heck it wasn't easy at all hey?"

"I don't know how you did it, it you kept going. Well done."

"Now look at where we are, not rich, not successful, but we're happy being ourselves."

"Not running any kinda race that we never would've wanted to run."

"Instead we've been doing our own thing now - and boy has it been so much fun."

And this part of me tapped into the present joy that I feel too.

Knowing it had survived.

It had done so much.

And that "behind" was a concept.

That was never meant for us.

Take care,
Hernping

:)

💙

06/11/2025

There's a funny thing that goes on when we view our day as a "bad day".

Somehow that sits uncomfortably with us.

That today is "bad".

Perhaps because it's accompanied by so called "bad" feelings too.

And in all that discomfort, we want it to change.

But sometimes try as we might.

Nothing makes it any better.

And the more we try, and the more we fail.

It feels even more and more NOT OKAY.

That today is a bad day.

And that's not okay.

--

You see, there is a saying that I like a lot

And it goes like this.

"The solution is often the problem."

What does that even mean?

--

Well, take a bad day for example

We think the bad day is the "problem".

That it is something to be solved.

But what does it mean to solve it then?

It means to somehow change whatever we are feeling into something else.

To somehow change a bad day into a good one too.

--

But here's the thing, don't you realize?

That the more you struggle with this so called problem, the worser your day becomes.

"Why can't I make today into a better one?!"

"Why don't I feel better about right now?"

And in trying solve what we think is the problem, we make the problem into an EVEN BIGGER one.

--

Because you see, feelings are meant to be something to be solved in the first place at all.

Feelings are meant for us to FEEL.

To sit with.

Yes, even the feelings you feel right now.

So, if you're having a bad day today, I hope you try this instead.

First to know that to force yourself to feel any different from what you are feeling now is to make the problem worse.

And second to know that whatever it is you're feeling right now, acknowledge that they are there right now.

You can still have a day.

And in this day, go do what you need for yourself.

Be kind to yourself.

Rest.

Eat well.

Do your favourite thing.

Or even do nothing at all.

All are okay.

Just don't do all those things to try and "make" yourself feel better.

It's okay to just have a day.

All while knowing that in you accepting today just as such.

You're giving yourself the rest you need.

And the capacity to tackle tomorrow as it comes.

Take care,
Hernping

02/11/2025

This is a post for everyone out there on your healing journey.

It's really not an easy one to have undertaken at all.

As someone myself who has been in therapy for so MANY years.

I know how hard it is to keep going and keep your head down.

--

To have to keep believing that this'll somehow work out.

Even when there are times when all your hopes are knocked down.

To somehow then have to pick yourself up again.

Even when at that point all you really want to do is give up and lie down.

--

But remember this always, that it's totally okay to take a pause.

That it's okay too when it gets to hard and you have to give up for now.

Because that just means that you're catching your breath again.

And on this long journey, it's perfectly okay to feel tired and down.

But to your out there who is still going on despite all of this.

Be it that life has been relentless in terms of setbacks.

Or even if the people who are meant to be on this journey with you have you let down.

I honour you.

You, the person who keeps going on.

Putting on those metaphorical shoes again and again, and still not giving up.

And I hope that you be rewarded for all this that you do.

Tired, fearful, but yet you kept going.

You deserve for things to get better.

For all these steps that you've took.

Take care,
Hernping

P. S. I went out tonight for a run to unwind, but quickly realized I was too tired from what has been a long week. So I stopped running, and just started walking. And while I know I'm not getting the exercise I initially wanted, I'm glad I slowed down - just to make time for myself, so I can keep going.

26/10/2025

I used to think that I was broken.

That there was this broken part of me that could never be fixed.

What did it feel like? It felt like an empty hole.

Just that this empty hole was so much bigger than me.

--

For a long time in my life now.

This emptiness was such a big part of me.

So much so that I reckon I resonated so much with it.

That this brokenness just became my sense of identity.

And along with my brokenness I would do broken things.

Like chase away people who wanted to get close to me.

Because I wouldn't want them to spread this brokenness to them.

Nor do I want them to see this broken side of me.

--

But being an empty broken human being.

Is something that I think no one should be.

Endeavoring sadness, pain and anguish all our own.

Isolated in an inescapable world was just to much for me.

--

So to tell you the truth, I did many stupid things.

Though at that time I wouldn't call it at stupid at all.

Cause the suffering was too much, in a world that was so dark.

The only escape felt like to flee, to flee.

--

Somehow I survived.

Somehow I'm still here.

This pain still very much a part of me.

But I do I experience this dark empty pain still you ask?

No longer, you see it has transformed inside of me.

--

Once broken, now whole again.

You see, I've found so many other parts of me.

And perhaps the biggest change was that what was once broken.

Has now become the proudest part of me :)

Take care,
Hernping

P. S. Some people ask if I still identify with having borderline pd and my answer now is probably not so much anymore. But know this again, that it's not that it's gone or that I've forgotten.

It's more so that it's not playing a different role inside of me.

💙

Transforming pain into purpose.

Let's keep going.

19/10/2025

And if you're still stuck in a dark place right now, know that that's okay too.

Don't punish yourself for what's already a hard enough time for you.

Instead, I hope you sit with it.

Stay with it.

Whatever it is that you're feeling right now inside of you.

Noticing what this part of you wants you to feel right now too.

Because that's what feelings are.

They are all messages coming from deep inside of you.

Feelings aren't meant to punish us.

But show us the way forward.

In terms of what we need.

And what matters to us.

So we can move into the life that we've always wanted to.

--

Don't give up okay?

Stay.

You got this.

Go slow, go easy on yourself.

Don't rush yourself to feel better because that simply doesn't work too.

Go slow, go deep if you can.

But only if you can.

Feel.

Don't just try to chase those feelings away.

Feel, so you get to know all these parts of you too.

Take care,
Hernping

🌳🌳🌳

P. S. I'm grateful for a day of deep inner rest and peace. Spending some time amongst the trees and slowing down so I can regain my energy too. Grateful for all the people around me as well. That keeps me going, so from deep in my heart. Thank you :)

P. S. 2. Soba is so cute too.

Okay bye!

15/10/2025

What path are you on right now?

Is the journey that you are on one that you're intentionally choosing?

Why is that?

Why not?

Does it feel like you're moving in the direction you want to be moving towards?

I hope you are.

I sincerely hope you are.

--

Because you see, for a long time I wasn't.

The path I thought that I had "chosen" was more so the path that believed I "should" be on.

What was this path you see?

Well maybe like you it's the path that guarantees some sort of career success.

Some sort of acknowledgement to our so-called "potential", ability and or competency.

A path that also guarantees some sort of present and future financial stability.

Because isn't that the path that most of us have been thought that we should be?

And maybe if I stay on this path long enough..

Then one day I can be free of it too.

One day, perhaps the day that I've finally done enough.

Earned enough.

Been and achieved enough.

Then on that day I can finally be free.

And be me.

--

I hated that path.

It made me hate my very existence you see.

Feeling like I'm spending all those days and times of my life.

Being someone that is utterly not me.

--

And so I left that path.

Despite the many uncertainties.

Despite the questioning eyes and wondering of others as to WHY.

I left that path because I decided to be me.

--

And here I am.

And I like where I am now.

What a winding journey it has been.

But I like where I am.

Even though I'm "there" yet.

And even though much uncertainty still lies ahead of me.

But at least on this path, even though others might sometimes question it.

I don't.

Because I like this path.

Because on this path I'm being the best "me" for me.

:)

Hernping

😎

P. S. Sometimes I still wonder how we managed to go from some small ground up movement to this growing non profit social enterprise that is .sg. It's alot sometimes tbh too haha.

But ngl, I enjoy every moment of it.

Thankful for the support everyone, I really mean it.

It's nice to meet so many others on their own journeys, I'm glad to be part of yours.

And thankful that you're part of mine too 🙏

10/10/2025

Based on a true story.

About a hopeless and empty feeling that came today.

Seemingly out of nowhere, feeling truly uncomfortable.

Threatening to take over my day.

-

But years of healing taught me that it's not the feelings themselves that cause us trouble.

It's how we react to them instead.

To want to struggle and tossle, and debate the truth with them.

That really it's our lack of acceptance and wanting them to go.

That makes us not be okay in the end.

-

So I stayed with the feeling, letting it be there as long as it wanted to be.

All the while knowing that this feeling was also a valid part of me.

A part of me carrying a burden from the past.

That I needed to help it to let go.

Ans then rescue it and bring it to the present.

Because the present is where I live.

And also where I want to be.

Take care,
Hernping

💙

P. S. Repost from July 2023 - happy world mental health day everyone :)

FYI this practice is a mix of acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT) and inner child HEALING ( ).

That has helped me a lot in life.

It's not an easy one okay? Find a comfortable therapist to journey with you along your way.

But I do hope you find a way of healing that suits you.

And learn to accept all parts of yourself.

For this is the truth of you and all your being.

They are valid parts of you - yes even the painful ones too.

Heal these younger parts of you, then come.

Come live in the present, you and I.

For that's where we belong.

You and me together.

From this very moment on.

💙

06/10/2025

BTW it's not like I've forgotten the past.

That'll probably never happen.

What that younger self of mine went through?

That will always, always be a part of me 🙏

--

There's a big difference though.

Having a part of you that you loathe, that you hate.

That you struggle intensely with.

That used to be me.

Wondering why those things happened all those years ago.

And why I did what I did, why I responded the way I did.

Some of it exists as anger, resentment; alot of it sadness and shame.

I spent so many many years...

Fighting this war inside of me.

A war of me versus other parts of me.

--

You know what I think healing really is?

To me, healing is about ending the conflict inside of ourselves.

It takes a goodness sakes amount of hard work though.

Somehow choosing to go painfully in, despite never actually wanting to feel these parts of me in the first place.

But it's worth it you know?

As I'm sure those of you who've put in the work know.

To be one with our younger selves again.

To be at peace with ourselves and our past.

And to feel wholly "me" again.

No longer having to spend our so much of our time asking:

"Why did this happened to me?"

Because even though it did, I'm still me.

Still wholly me.

With all these beautifully courageous parts of me.

:)

Hernping

🫂

28/09/2025

I hate being sad.

I don't think anyone likes being sad either.

But yet today I find myself sad again.

Funding myself uncomfortable with this feeling...

Wanting it to go away too.

--

Why do we hold on to sadness?

Often, in the eyes of others, it feels like such a silly thing to do.

Yet I don't think so at all.

Because sadness is a part of me.

It's the part of me that carries a heavy burden too.

--

So I spoke to my sadness today, asking it why it's here again.

It said to me, "I'm worried we lost sight of our purpose again. Life has just been so awfully tiring lately".

I nodded and agreed, because to a big extent it's true.

"Whats the point of all this? Are we sure this is what we wanted to do?"

And I looked at sadness, who really is the younger version of me standing in front of me looking worried.

And I said, "yes".

"Things are tough right now but this was what we were always meant to do."

"Because we chose this path not only because it was a meaningful one, but because it helps us make sense of our pain too?

"How", he said?

I replied, "So others will know how to deal with their sadness and emptiness too".

And relief fell through this boy, shoulders much less tense.

"Are we doing well?" he said.

I said, "With you here by my side as a reminder of why we do what we do?"

"We are wonderfully well".

:)

Tired, but absolutely fulfilled.

Take care,
Hernping

💙

For K - please stop your foot fetishes and stalking pls

Kaya Toast for the Soul

26/11/2025

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09/11/2025

06/11/2025

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26/10/2025

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