https://www.facebook.com/106760457426184/

The Treslin Talk 彬家有理

Home
Singapore
Singapore
The Treslin Talk 彬家有理

Parenting style is a choice

14/06/2022

再怎么不要变老也不能逆转岁月
我想的不是怎么防老而是该怎么老去
我倒是还没想好你说呢

❤️

03/10/2021

A quote from the Kdrama
"the best thing a parent can do for their children is to stay healthy as long as they can". Take good care of yourself, and seek treatment if you are ill.

Cannot agree more!

This is similar to the saying that I chanced upon many years ago and have been carrying with me since I become a parent

"Ur child won't love you more just because of your heavy sacrifice. Instead, care for yoursel, work towards your goal; ur child sees it and learns from it for self-care and self-love."

On my birthday, I took leave and went for a day out for self care alone! Haircut, body massage and a good steak lunch!

What about you?

***

韩剧里的一句话，我再赞同不过了！
＂一个家长能为孩子做的最好的事，就是维持身心健康活得长久＂
好好照顾自己，身体不适就寻医。

正如我多年前看到的一句话，意思大概是：孩子不会因为你的牺牲而感恩或给予回报。相反的，父母自爱自重的努力追求梦理想，孩子看在眼里自然而然地会以你为榜样学会自爱和努力向上。

我生日的那天，拿了一天假。一个人去换了发型，享受全身按摩和享用了我最爱的牛扒西餐配红酒！

你呢？你最近为了自己做了什么呢？

#自爱 #自重 #育儿法

03/08/2021

Out of sight, out of mind!

Do u know how u display and organise toys/ children stuff and offer space affect children's learning?

1. Offer different zones : toy zone, learning zone, creating zone, constructing zone calming zone, reading zone 提供清楚的区域：玩具区，学习区，创造区，建造区，冷静区，读书区
2. Display them out by category 分类似的展示出来
3. Rotate them regularly 太多的话，定时轮流展示提高
4. Involve the kids to clean up together - keep back the things and wash/wipe together once in a while 和孩子一起保持空间的整洁

Worry abt upkeeping and dust? Cleaning is simple (tiring I know)
Think about ur priority and goal - u get those things to help ur child's learning or to be kept away in boxes?

你把玩具和小孩用品都一起堆在箱子里吗？你知道我们怎么展示排列玩具物品和规划孩子的空间是直接影响孩子的学习能力和习惯吗？

担心很难打理灰尘很多？问问自己给孩子这些玩具和物品的最初目的是什么？学习对吧要是孩子都只是玩那几样是因为他们不喜欢吗？可能是他们看不见没想到要玩啊！

Happy learning all!

#玩乐中学习

13/06/2021

两个小瓜玩家家酒，竟然玩到家里的冰箱去！为了避免孩子一直开关家里的冰箱又不想泼冷孩子的自主创意，只好豁出去让他们用家里橱柜来充当冰箱。
他们玩的不亦乐乎，我看着心跳加速！心里祈祷橱柜门合页可以奈何孩子的天真啊！

My kids played pretend play and wanted to put their food into our fridge! Had to avoid the kids from open/close the real fridge, I redirected them to cabinet instead! My heart pounds and secretly hope the soft close hinges can sustain their innocent force!

30/04/2021

你知道孩子是需要很大的活动量来消耗体能吗？在家里也能简单的让他们玩得满汗除了帮助他们建立更好的平衡点和体能运用这样的玩法也能推动孩子更有创意的利用简单物品设计成＂玩具＂

23/04/2021

Our family doesn't parent with naughty corner as we believe there is no bad kids.
As a parent who advocate emotional regulation since young, I'm ashamed to only start a proper calming corner at home.

It is a bedtime story corner double up as calming corner. This corner is not meant to punish a child, nor to let the child to think about what they have done. It's just a corner for them to voluntarily stay in whenever they have big emotions and to let it out while feeling safe.

There is no bad feelings, only bad behaviour.

The calming basket contains materials to help my children to release their emotions safely with or without adult presence.

1. Books about feelings to help them identify their emotions and accept them
2. Stress balls or balls that are safe to throw
3. A small sketch book with markers to draw their feelings or just doodle to let it out
4. Whac-a-mole toy
5. Feeling faces cushion to let them punch

Whenever a child has big emotions like tantrums or meltdowns, it is never a good time to educate or nag. We have to connect to them first.

"I see you are upset because you cannot have snack. We can have snack tomorrow if you take your main meal well. Do you want a hug or go to the calming corner?"

***

我们家不提倡naughty corner 因为那违反我家接纳任何情绪的宗旨。没有天生的坏小孩。我家提倡自幼情绪管理但是惭愧的是现在孩子都4岁了我这才把冷静区弄上。

把原本睡前看书区稍改造成双用区。冷静区不是用来惩罚孩子，也不是把孩子带进去反省思过的。冷静区纯粹是在他们情绪来时能让他们安心安全的抒发出来的区域, 孩子能够自行决定要不要进去冷静区。

所有情绪都能被接纳。情绪没有对错，行为才有。

冷静区有让他们在有无大人陪伴下都能安全抒发情绪的辅助物品

1 关于情绪的书籍
2 压力球或一些能安全扔丢的球
3 小画册和画笔画出感受或就随意涂鸦
4 打地鼠玩具
5 正面管教情绪认知靠枕能两用成拳打脚踢的枕头

孩子情绪来袭，大哭大闹的时候绝对不是说教的时候。我们该做的是认同他的感受（不是行为）让他先抒发冷静。

＂不让你吃零食你现在很难过生气。明天你有好好吃正餐就能吃了。你想要一个抱抱告诉我，我就在这。你也可以去冷静区。＂

#冷静区 #情绪管理 #情绪抒发 #正面管教 #互相尊重育儿法 #心理健康

14/03/2021

No, u didn't see it wrongly. We don't force sharing. We respect every kid's play time and property rights, regardless if he or she is a big bro or sis, or the host of a playdate

Instead of tbese words, we say:
-You want that toy. I see xx is playing. You can have it when she's done
-I see xx wants to take this toy you are playing. Do u want to play with him or keep playing by yourself? By yourself. OK. Let him know when you are done. He will have his turn.
-I know you don't feel good waiting. I'm here helping you. I will hug you while you wait
-i help write down your name so you will be next to play it

IT'S OK AS LONG AS NOT HURTING PEOPLE (incl hurting words) OR PROPERTY

你没看错我们不强迫分享。我们尊重每一个孩子的玩耍时间和物权即使他是一位大哥哥或大姐姐或是主人家的孩子

与其强迫分享我们提倡真诚的分享:
-你想要那个玩具。我看到x还玩着。他玩完了你就能拿了。
-我看到x想要你的这个玩具。你想和他一起玩还是继续自己玩？自己玩，好的。你玩完了告诉x，他在等着。
-我知道要等很不好受我在这陪你
-我把你的名字写下下一个到你玩

只要不伤害人（包括伤人的话）和物件都可以

09/03/2021

今天我的4岁儿叫我离开饭厅把玻璃门关上说他要自己吃看着他的身影感慨万分
他从出生就胃口小奶喝比大多的小孩少我仍旧坚持100％ #自主进食可想而知他吃进肚子的食物能有多少瘦得人人心疼
当妈妈的又那个不担心孩子摄取不够营养那个不为旁人（甚至家人）的关心话语感到压力我庆幸我当时坚持住了现在大宝的胃口终于有了明显的增长吃饭也很独立也很期待吃饭的时间他真的是 blw毕业了啊！

注：自主进食的目标不是让孩子不挑食这完全没有关联哦是为了让孩子尽早掌握咀嚼吞咽的能力的同时能够独立进食并且对食物保持兴趣（我家二宝没有100％自主进食比较不挑食但是这些方面明显逊色很多）

我个人强推自6个月大起就100％自主进食（迟早都要的）！这真的是百利而无一害啊！

03/03/2021

这是第2组家庭让孩子爬树第一组家庭没有来得及拍照
我很欣慰看到的不是：不准爬快下来
而是：我在这里会帮你你自己试试看

在你和孩子说＇不＇之前，停顿一下问问自己什么理由非得说不嘛？有条件性的 yes 可是很强大有用的！

Snapped this photo at a park. This was a 2nd family allowing the kids to climb the tree.
I'm glad to see and hear: I'm here to help. Try it urself.
Instead of : no u cannot do that come down now!

Before u say 'no' to ur children, pause and ask urself is there a strong reason to be an absolute no?? What about a conditional Yes?

Address

Singapore

Website

facebook.com

Alerts

Be the first to know and let us send you an email when The Treslin Talk 彬家有理 posts news and promotions. Your email address will not be used for any other purpose, and you can unsubscribe at any time.

Shortcuts

Featured

The Prenatal Consultants
101 Irrawaddy Road, #15-05/06 Royal Square Medical Centre

Want your practice to be the top-listed Clinic in Singapore?