13/10/2024
Lee Hsien Yang Eulogy for Lee Wei Ling
Wei Ling and I have always been completely different, but we have always been close. We grew up together, and in the nature of our family, were each other’s closest family. She was almost 3 years older; Loong was in turn about 3 years her senior, but was a loner. So Ling and I grew up playing with each other. Of course, when we were little, there were physical fights. One scar I still carry from a particularly vigorous encounter serves as a reminder.
Right from the outset, Ling was always a tomboy and a fighter, and until I outgrew her, I was disadvantaged in our skirmishes. She was tough and strong and, whilst we disagreed and continued to disagree on much, I loved and admired her dearly. She carried that spirit of a fighter throughout her life, seeking to right wrongs, with a preparedness to speak truth to power. She was straight as an arrow, and would not mince her words. She had a reckless streak and could be impetuous. She saw herself as a modern day Don Quixote: an idealist, a hero, determined with dogged tenacity, stoic and ever-conscious of the need to withstand suffering.
Ling strove hard throughout her life to excel. She was outstanding academically - studious, driven, and intense. Perhaps her competitive fighting spirit came from a desire to be recognised and valued by our parents, even though she was second born and a girl. She loved animals and wanted to be a vet but was persuaded by our parents to pursue medicine instead. Always wanting to earn their approval, she graduated at the top of her class in medical school in Singapore and won a slew of prizes. Today, when I look back, I wish our family had acknowledged and recognised at home her accomplishments. It would have meant the world to her.
Physical fitness was also something she excelled at and both my father and myself value physical fitness from her encouragement. She was a superb long distance runner. Because of her, my father gave up golf and took up jogging. While I am reasonably fit, and could easily pass my physical fitness tests with flying colours, Ling was always a better long distance runner. Ling and I attended karate class together and she became a Karate black belt; she was not someone to be messed with! She exercised with fanatical devotion and her typical regime would involve hours of exercise on a cross trainer, a rowing machine and swimming. As she aged and became prone to injury, she resented having to scale back her exercise regime. Ling sought in running, and in life, to “fill the unforgiving minute With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run”
Ling was a brilliant doctor with strong clinical skills. Fern and I would consult her whenever any of our 3 sons was sick or had medical issues, and she was invariably spot on in her diagnosis, even in areas outside her speciality. We valued and trusted her judgement and skills as a doctor. She in turn sought investment advice from me. Bedside manners were not her forte, and completely in character, she never sugar-coated her diagnosis to patients. But she was straightforward and would always be her patients’ best champion. I have heard myself countless stories of patients’ gratitude for this, and have learnt of a few more since her passing.
Surprisingly, Ling discovered she enjoyed penning her thoughts and views, and for many years had a very popular weekly newspaper column. She was deeply disappointed when it was terminated in 2016. Each week we would always hear at home her excited plans for her next article and her book compendium of articles made the bestsellers list to her huge delight.
Ling loved the outdoors and was a keen, if disorganised, hiker. She loved the sense of adventure, the freedom and the adrenaline rush that it gave her. In early 2020 before Covid, on her request, I travelled to Machu Picchu with her. It was high on her bucket list, and was a long trip. Machu Picchu was built on a very remote and isolated steep outcrop and was challenging for her as her incipient illness had affected her sense of balance and mobility. Nonetheless, with a little help she managed to get around the citadel. She loved and thoroughly enjoyed the experience. I am so glad we made that trip together.
As often is the lot of an unmarried daughter, the caring of our parents as they aged fell on Ling. She nursed and cared for each of them through their illnesses and old age frailties, and for this I remain eternally grateful.
Ling lived her entire life at 38 Oxley Road. It was the only home she knew and she wanted to live out her days in her home. It was for this reason that Papa gave her that right to live there. He knew it meant much to her. In the years following Mama’s first stroke in 2003, Ling cared for Mama and became Papa’s primary companion and confidant at home. Although, as two strong personalities they sometimes disagreed, they also became much closer.
Papa was always very open and public about his wishes. In that period from 2003 to his passing in 2015, Papa spoke with Ling extensively, including on his hopes and his concerns for the future. Everyone knows that Papa was always against any deification of himself and was against monuments or memorials; Ling knew how very strongly he felt. In Apr 2016, she wrote “Lee Kuan Yew would have cringed at the hero worship just one year after his death”
In 2017, she persuaded me to stand up with her for our father’s wishes. I am proud to have stood with her. Ling was not one who was afraid to talk about or prepare for death. She provided that only myself and my middle son, Huan, should make decisions on her care. As they were both middle children, she had always seen in Huan a kindred spirit, and the two of them had holidayed together. It has been my privilege, with Huan’s help, to deal with her affairs and organise her care arrangements during her illness. I am deeply grateful to her doctors Dr Philiip Yap of Khoo Teck Puat Hospital and Prof Tan Eng King of NNI. In addition, Wee Tin, Jackie, Nurse Michelle, Lina, Cheng Piau and many others, have all helped with the care for Ling. Thank you.
She wanted a very simple funeral and for her ashes to be scattered at sea.
I said my goodbyes to Ling in June 2022. I wish I could have been here today for this final farewell. Huanwu has been a stalwart in organising her care in my absence, and I am very grateful to Huanwu and Shaowu for being there for Ling at this time.
Ling directed me to convey the following statement on her passing:
“My father's, LEE KUAN YEW, and my mother's, KWA GEOK CHOO,
unwavering and deeply felt wish was for their house at 38 Oxley Road, Singapore 238629 to be demolished upon the last parent's death. LEE KUAN YEW had directed each of his 3 children to ensure that their parents' wish for demolition be fulfilled. He had also appealed directly to the people of Singapore. Please honour my father by honouring his wish for his home to be demolished.“
Farewell Ling, You will always be my special big sister.
