31/12/2025
2025 felt like a pause.
And honestly, that might be one of my greatest fears.
I’m so used to progress, to movement, to having answers. Even reflection feels like it should be brief. A day or two. And when someone asks, “So what’s new?”, I feel I should have something to say.
In 2025, most of the time, I didn’t.
It raised more questions than answers. And for a long while, not knowing felt like a problem. Like I needed to know what came next. Even if it was wrong — because at least movement feels safer than stillness.
But this pause carried a different lesson altogether.
It slowly stripped away my ego, my identities, who I thought I was — layer by layer — bringing me closer to who I am at the core.
I thought ending my identity as a finance professional meant I would simply step into being a healer, a mental health practitioner. But it was the in-between that the questioning began.
When I chose firmer boundaries and became more selective about my inner circle, I lost the identity of being “the listener,” the one who belonged everywhere — even to people who didn’t truly matter.
After more than five years of climbing, watching those who started later surpass me made me question my capacity to learn, to grow, to become anything at all.
2025 became a year of questions.
And many answers about who I am not.
And beneath all of that was a quieter, more painful question:
If I am none of these things, am I still worthy?
Worthy of simply being. Of breathing. Of existing without justification.
This year has been about sitting with insecurity and unworthiness — and slowly realising that even without the titles, the roles, or the certainty, I am still worthy of love. By myself. By a few others. And that it’s okay for the rest to fade away.
📸: by the gorgeous & talented
