22/10/2025
For yeaars, I had a full-time job I didn't even know I was working overtime at: Chief Investigator of My Own Failures 🤡. My brain would present a detailed report every night of where I’d fallen short. It added desperation, shame and an even more critical tone to my already sh*tty inner narrative.
A unfortunate feature of the human brain is that it has a dominating 'negativity bias', which means it’s designed to be hyper aware of bad experiences yet barely registers any of the good ones. It’s an survival setting, but means that even without our input and anxieties, our nervous system is operating on high-alert.
This is why I actively prescribe every person that I coach to intentionally and consciously look for and document anything good going on. Progress no matter how small, insight, shifts, change, new knowledge, encouragement, ANYTHING.
It's way more than positive thinking, it is radical act of nervous system care. Neuroplasticity loves it too, and it gives you somewhere to go every day to both reflect and savour on the progress you're making.
Because here's the thing, when you're suffering, you won't remember any of the good stuff, so having that liferaft-like list of your green flags (no matter how small) can quite literally pull you from the depths of despair.
It's such an easy yet monumentally powerful and necessary part of healing work. It's where you purposely document the moments your inner critic would normally dismiss. It’s where ‘I faced some big emotions today’ is a monumental win. It’s where ‘I didn’t spiral after a difficult conversation’ gets a victorious gold star.
Every time you add to the list, or reflect on it, you are sending a direct message from your conscious mind to your nervous system that says, "See? It's not all danger. You are safer than you think. You are capable of this." And when you go back to that list over and over it trains your brain to notice and savour all the progress you're making.
What’s one win, green flag or piece of evidence you can add to your list? Maybe it's" started this list today, that's my win!"
I promise you, future you will be so grateful you did. What would you add?
Dani 😘❤
mytmsjourney.com