14/05/2025
Why do you always find yourself chasing the unavailable or trying to fix someone who doesn’t want to be fixed?”
The answer often lies deep in our attachment styles—and even deeper in our mother and father wounds.
Many of us subconsciously seek out people who mirror the emotional patterns of the parent we had the most wounding from.
Why?
Because we’re not just looking for connection—we’re looking for resolution.
If your mother was emotionally distant or inconsistent, you might find yourself constantly seeking closeness and approval from women—craving that softness, care, and acceptance you didn’t fully receive.
If your father was absent, critical, or unpredictable, you might over-invest in relationships with men—trying to finally earn the love, respect, or validation you never got.
This plays out in friendships, romantic relationships, and even professional dynamics.
We’re not always drawn to people because they’re good for us—sometimes, we’re drawn to them because they feel familiar.
We confuse familiarity with safety.
We confuse attachment with love.
And we end up chasing people who reflect our wounds, hoping that if they finally choose us, it will mean we’ve healed.
But true healing doesn’t come from changing them.
It comes from re-parenting yourself.
From recognising the pattern, grieving what you didn’t get, and giving yourself the safety, care, and acceptance you were always craving.
And when you do that, you stop chasing.
You stop performing.
You start choosing people who meet you with presence—not projection.
Awareness is the first step.
Healing is the next.
Freedom is what follows.