14/04/2026
Misconceptions linked to all persons with Autism
Written by: Empathyway.asd
🌿They all have a special obsession.
False: Some do have a deep interest that carries on into their adult years and some find ways to make a profession out of their passion. However, many of them focus intensely on things they are interested in but that can change as they become interested in new things over time. Lastly, some parents have felt concern that they do not know what their child is interested in as it isn’t yet obvious to them. (sometimes this is the result of them not yet being exposed to a topic or activity that captures their attention)
🌿Have special gifts, and savant like skills in one area.
False: Some autistic persons have specialized strengths and talents, and yet difficulties in many other areas of their development. They are not all mathematicians, and scientists. They do see the world and process things in the environment in unique ways that a neurotypical person wouldn’t and to me that is something very special about them. They all have something to contribute to the world which is why they should be valued, appreciated, accepted and fully included in their communities, and society at large.
🌿Persons with Autism do not make eye contact
Autistic persons do avert their gaze and initially pay less attention to things we see other neurotypical persons showing interest in (faces, social referencing etc.). It has been a focus in many therapies to get autistic persons to make eye contact but insisting on eye contact from an autistic person is incredibly stressful for them. We have to remember that having someone’s attention is not solely about eye contact. Most people gaze avert in conversations with their peers, we hear not with our eyes, and we sometimes attend to things better when we multitask (e.g. doodling or pacing while on a phone call). I have had several autistic kids knock my baseball cap off because they wanted to make eye contact and see if I was attending to something jointly with them. Forget eye contact, and focus on CONNECTION, building a relationship and engaging in what the child is interested in doing. That is how you can get their attention! Help them feel safe, loved, appreciated, and comforted. The rest will follow, including more eye contact. That being said, I’ve hear people say “ that kid isn’t really autistic, they made eye contact”, to that I say, being autistic is a way of being, and “lack of eye contact” is not a defining feature, so please do not assume a person is not autistic if they make eye contact with you !( and definitely don’t say this out loud to that person or their caregiver).
🌿They are not affectionate
We all appreciate affection and connection in different ways. Not of us like hugs, and kisses and what society has defined for us as “affection”. I have found autistic persons to be very affectionate, and they each have their own unique way of expressing it. Affection is laughing, tumble play, a smile, a squeeze, a tickle, sitting in silence, sharing a candy etc.
🌿They all physically stim.( arm flapping, body rocking, etc)
Stimming is not always physical it can be vocal or cognitive (repetitive thoughts or words in their mind).
🌿They all have severe tantrums
False: a better term to use is meltdown. An explosive or intense meltdown is just one way an autistic person may express being overwhelmed and overloaded. These can be very vocal and physical expressions of distress, however another response to extreme stress is “shutting down” and related to our bodies “freeze” response. It’s a ‘silent meltdown’, and distress single from the person.
🌿They all love to be barefoot
False: Some autistic persons struggle with certain apparel like shoes, and clothing because of its texture or restrictiveness, so yes you will see those who love to be barefoot. Yet you also have persons who are sensitive to tactile sensory input and therefore prefer to wear shoes as they appreciate the consistency of them and the barrier it gives them to input that would otherwise make them feel uncomfortable. (e.g. mud, water on the floor, sticky textures, heat, scratchy grass etc.)
🌿 A child who is delayed in speech, or not talking by the age of 2 is autistic.
There are many reasons why a child may be delayed in their speech, and in some cases the underlying nature is not autism, it can be a matter of a speech impairment, auditory challenges, etc. Please do not tell parents their child is probably autistic simply because they seem to be delayed in their speech. If you are not a autism professional or someone qualified to diagnose autism, please do not try to diagnose a child based on one interaction or one behaviours that resembles autism
🌿They prefer to self-isolate
Autistic persons sometimes do not have a choice but to self-isolate as their environment can become overwhelming and they can be overstimulated easily. That doesn’t mean that they want to be alone. They may initially show preference in attending to objects or aspects of the environment, instead of attending to the adults and peers around them, but when given the opportunity to experience enjoyable and positive interactions they do become interested in engaging with people more.
🌿They are not socially motivated, and prefer to be alone
I hear this too often, “that person isn’t autistic they just spoke with me and they were friendly”. Many autistic persons are socially motivated and wish to have friendships the same way we do. They love to talk to about topics of their interest, they do approach people and ask questions that they are interested in knowing about you etc. They can have social difficulties sometimes in following group conversations, understanding social nuances, understanding how person may be feeling or thinking in the present moment, picking up on social cues etc. Autistic girls especially can mask their autism, when indeed they are having difficulty building the meaningful relationships they want. They can have advanced language skills compared to autistic males, and can follow social scripts, yet struggle to interpret the social world around them. Simply put, just because someone shows interest in socializing with you, does not mean they are not autistic! A lack of interest in communicating socially is something we can experience initially with an autistic person (especially when they are very young), but as they grow and develop this is not a “fixed in stone” feature of autism.
🌿They all need the same routine everyday
False: many kids on the spectrum benefit from structure, routine, social stories and pictures to communicate with them what their day is going to be like and what is currently happening. However, this isn’t the case for all. Some autistic persons need flexibility and struggle with repetitive routines and regimes. Autism is diverse and complex, and there are far too many “all-or-nothing” assumptions about what autism ought to look like and feel like. Appreciate and understand autism’s diversity.
🌿They all line up toys and play with them in appropriate ways
False: many autistic persons engage in independent imaginative play with their toy figurines. Yes, some you will notice may line up their toys, or engage in play in an atypical fashion compared to their peers, but play is play! Adults have somehow defined what “play” needs to look like in order to be normal, acceptable, and appropriate. There shouldn’t be a right or wrong way to view play!
Written by Vanda Richardson
