08/11/2024
Caring for Elderly Parents from abroad can be difficult.
Even under the best of circumstances, caring for elderly parents is a challenging task. If you are living outside of Trinidad and Tobago, it can become overwhelming trying to manage all the responsibilities of aging parents from so far away.
Ten tips that may help
1. EVALUATE
Some questions to discuss with your parents and other caregivers in their lives include:
Mobility
Money matters
Mental health
Driving
Medication
Quality of Life at home
2. Evaluate what you can do.
You will not be able to do everything for your parents, especially from abroad. Nobody can. Try to focus on what you can do and see if other family or professionals can help with the balance.
3. Have a family meeting.
If you are fortunate enough to have other family close to your parents, it is a good idea to hold a family meeting either in person or remotely. Use the meeting to discuss who might be able to provide support.
4. Reconcile issues from the past.
If there are long standing resentments or unresolved issues from your past, finding closure may ease any guilt associated with caring for your elderly parents from abroad. If the problems remain raw or painful, it might be a good idea to see a counsellor or therapist together for some professional support.
5. Focus on love over duty.
Try to keep love over obligation as the primary motivation for caring for your parents. Viewing it this way can lead to it being a positive experience for you both. As well as the practical day to day elements of care giving, try to spend some time discussing favourite memories or planning activities when you are visiting home.
6. Plan visits.
Not only will this give your parents something to look forward to while you are away, it will also enable you to evaluate how well the supports put in place are working.
7. Have a plan for emergencies.
It is essential to have a plan in case your parents find themselves in an emergency while you are away. This can range from a list of family and friends that they can call to a 24 hour facility like ours to monitor their daily activity and wellbeing.
8. Stay connected.
Create a schedule to call or contact your parents. This could be through a traditional phone call if that is what they feel most comfortable with. If they are more tech savvy, video calls work really well. Try to call at a time when you are relaxed and can fill them in on your life overseas as well as checking in with them.
9. Accept feelings of guilt.
It is highly likely that there will be periods of time where you will not be able to give your parents the time you would like to. It is natural to feel guilty about this. Take time to acknowledge your feelings. Without acknowledgement it is easy for guilt to become overwhelming. Understand that while you may wish to do more all the time, you are only one person capable of so much.
10. Make time for yourself.
Although self-care can feel like the last thing on your mind when juggling the challenges of living abroad and long distance caregiving, it is vitally important. “You cannot pour from an empty cup” so taking care of yourself is an essential part of success in both areas of your life. Carve out some time for rest, doing something you love and exercise.
Always remember, Doreen's Retirement Villa is here to help.
