07/19/2025
Last year, I went on a 10-day solo, silent meditation retreat. Unexpectedly, I got to take a walk with the poet Mary Oliver. Yes, I know she died in 2019, but halfway through my retreat she joined me on one of my sojourns through the fields and woods. Sometimes magical moments like this happen when I get good and quiet.
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I love Mary all the more for showing up the way she did - cranky and with her delightful smoker’s voice, admonishing me for missing the point of one of her most famous lines: “Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?”
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She sensed how my mind almost immediately latches onto DO and PLAN and reminded me life is only a little about doing or planning - it’s mostly about being here with what is right under my nose. I often struggle to step out of doing mode, but this past year was marked by numerous transitions, which softened my edges and offered a firm but gentle push toward being more with my life as it unfolds.
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Most of the changes I have experienced have been good, but even good transitions take time. I’ve certainly missed some of my favorite forms of doing—teaching, writing, and making art. For now, these things have been replaced by many long, quiet walks. Maybe I'm waiting for Mary to show up again? I do wish she could give me some clear wisdom on how to help this hurting world.
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Until then, I’ll answer Mary’s question with the words of Rumi, another mystic and poet, who beautifully said, “Sell your cleverness and buy bewilderment."
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I will never not be bewildered by the way life’s beauty and pain are all mixed together. To the year ahead, I will let bewilderment lead the way more and engage from this wild and precious space in my relationships, work, love, creativity, and politics. And if you see me walking, you'll know who I'm walking with!
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Thank you for being bewildered with me and for all of your birthday love!
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