Amisha Mehtani, M.A., LMFT

10/07/2025

How to be with someone who is grieving…

Toxic positivity, even if well-intentioned, often dismisses one’s pain in grief. There is no silver lining in grief, and trying to find one will only further isolate your loved one. Instead, being present, listening, and showing up for them is far more meaningful than trying to find the “right” words to say.

In grief, actions are often stronger than words. Instead of trying to “fix” their pain or cheer them up, create a safe space for them to express their grief authentically. Have people tried to “cheer you up”. after loss?

03/27/2025

Biggest coping mechanism when we have had hardships in life is denial. While it is helpful, working past it requires courage, often times a good therapist, and some codependency work. Let’s see what happened to you…

12/28/2024

We know how joy enhances and lifts our spirit, causing us to feel lighter in our body. Similarly, negative emotions that are unprocessed get stuck in our body and we feel sick and heavy. Children (even adults) throw up and we call it anxiety. Unprocessed emotions manifest as depression and other physical ailments due to the state of the dis-ease our body experiences. Just like we consume and process joy so quickly and easily, naming and validating the negative emotion (sadness, anger, panic, shame, disgust, etc) allows for the body to give itself what it needs to cope with the hardship and then come back in alignment. This restores the body to rebuild and find peace again. Let’s stop suppressing what we are feeling. Let’s write about what just happened. Let’s notice. Let’s become self aware. Let’s validate our pain. Let’s also talk about it w loved ones. This is the way to health and emotional intimacy.

Think depression is only about a flaw in chemistry? Think again.

06/18/2024

This is why it’s so hard to see…

So many people are living in shame. Wondering “what’s wrong with me?” “Why am I lazy?” “Why am I broken?” … and the truth is: you’re aren’t. You just believe you are because our earliest relationships and experiences don’t just go away— they manifest in how we take care of ourselves (or don’t), they manifest in who we date and how we relate to that person, and they manifest in how much we trust ourselves. We’re walking living examples of our conditioned experiences until we wake up and say: “I choose differently. I choose to heal.” Comment “COMPLEX” then check your DM. I’ll send you a link to enter your email and you’ll get my *free* trauma healing workbook dropping June 25th. It will guide you on understanding your past and teach you how to create a new future. I’m so honored to release this and encourage you to share (copyright free) in schools, therapists you can use in sessions, addiction groups, with friends or anywhere else people seek healing. May it be of collective benefit

04/28/2024

How to get started?
1. Set small, achievable goals.
2. Positive affirmations; daily a number of times. Live and breathe it in and out.
3. Positive Reparenting — Talk to yourself with warmth and understanding but also set boundaries for self. Example: Instead of saying to yourself “I should have done this” say to yourself “It would have been nice to do this but it makes sense I didn’t (validate yourself). I’m a good human being (affirm yourself). I will try to do this (smaller goal) tomorrow.”
4. Reset goals and reach towards it.
5. Reward yourself for meeting the smaller goal. Collect pride, esteem. This is the currency we are all hungry for. Give it to yourself. You are beautiful, important, worthy and enough.

03/28/2024

Childhood has a profound impact on how we attach to other people. Many people cope with difficult childhood experiences through denial or avoidance “oh it wasn’t the best, but it was normal” or “it happened a long time ago, I don’t need to think about it now.”

But whether or not we want to think about or process our childhood— there it is. In our friendships, and maybe most prominent in our romantic relationships. Where our past shows up in how we treat others, how we’re able to connect, and what we do when we’re triggered by the people closest to us. Our childhood lives in our daily patterns— not just our body.

If you want a long-term, sustainable, connected relationship, the best thing you can do is face your past. Learn how it impacts how you attach, and empower yourself to practice skills like emotional regulation.

Anyone can heal. Anyone can evolve. Anyone can build healthy relationships regardless of their past.

What do YOU think?

12/24/2023

“The highly sensitive tend to be philosophical or spiritual in their orientation, rather than materialistic or hedonistic. They dislike small talk. They often describe themselves as creative or intuitive. They dream vividly, and can often recall their dreams the next day. They love music, nature, art, physical beauty. They feel exceptionally strong emotions--sometimes acute bouts of joy, but also sorrow, melancholy, and fear. Highly sensitive people also process information about their environments--both physical and emotional--unusually deeply. They tend to notice subtleties that others miss--another person's shift in mood, say, or a lightbulb burning a touch too brightly.”
— Susan Cain, Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking

12/21/2023

Boundaries! Set them! Work them!

12/15/2023

What part of ourselves are we neglecting when we focus on others? Working on ourselves in CoDA.org can bring powerful shift in our lives…

Read that again. When we are obsessively focused on another, we are abandoning ourselves.

11/24/2023

Attachment theory is NOT meant to be a prison sentence. It’s meant to help you better understand yourself so you can grow. It is meant to better explain how relationships work (and is the closest science has come to doing so) and provide HOPE. It is a hopeful theory. It’s a cross-cultural, all inclusive theory that applies to everyone who wants to be close to another human(s). It’s is about emotional support, healthy communication, solving problems, co-regulation, and every kind of connection.
Attachment security exists on a spectrum from “very insecure” on one end to “very secure” on the other end. The goal isn’t to magically go from one end to the other, but rather to meet yourself, and your relationship, where you are, and do the work from that place. Find the balance between being gentle with yourself and your partner, and holding yourself and each other accountable. That in itself is a trial and error process. Growth is never a dramatic experience. It happens with consistent effort over time. Just keep moving forward, pick yourself up and start over when you stumble, and one day something will happen and you’ll say “wow, I (we) really handled that differently than I (we) did in the past. Look at that growth.”
This account is a go-to resource for growing into secure attachment with yourself and in your relationship. Start with the “start here” highlight.
For those who want a more organized, deeper dive into the material, you can pre-order my book “Secure Love,” by Julie Menanno, anywhere books are sold all over the world. The official release date is Jan 30. ❤️

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11/09/2023

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11/05/2023