08/23/2022
The problem of incessant self criticism is not just mine alone, of course. So many people suffer from it. Over time, we start suggesting to other people that they give their inner critic a name… give it a wardrobe, give it a persona. Because everything is going to depend on how you relate to that inner critic.
I name my own inner critic Lucy — after the character in the Peanuts comic strip. I had seen a cartoon where Lucy is talking to Charlie Brown. She says to him, "You know, Charlie Brown, what your problem is? The problem with you is that you're you.”
I keep walking by a desk where someone had left the cartoon and my eyes would fall on that line over and over. Even after all my years of practice, it’s such a familiar voice — the voice of my own internal critic. But here’s the difference:
Not long after I see that cartoon — and name my inner critic Lucy — something really good happens for me. I flow effortlessly into a yoga posture that had eluded me for years. The first thought I have is:
"It's never going to happen again."
And then I breathe. I respond to the thought with:
"Hi Lucy. Chill, Lucy. Just chill out."
It’s not, “You’re right Lucy. You’re always right.”
It’s not, “I can’t believe Lucy is still here after all this work. I’m so ashamed.”
It’s: “Hi Lucy. Chill.”.
Sometimes I invite Lucy in for a cup of tea and sit her down. But I don't let her take over. We can be a little hospitable and even tender, but just give her a place. I’m now aware of Lucy. And I know that my awareness is stronger than she is.
Image by .i.am.sad
[Image Description: drawing of a woman having tea with a ghost-like figure emerging from her mind with text that reads "You are not so scary after all."]
