05/09/2026
What does it truly mean to be compassionate and kind?
In a world where there seems to be so much division at times, this question seems more relevant now than ever.
There’s a powerful concept that is foreign to many, but should probably become a household term — it’s called “holding space.”
Holding space means that instead of judging and reacting to other people, you allow them to be who they are... the way they were meant to incarnate in this life. Just notice, just appreciate.
One of the beautiful byproducts of learning to hold space, is that we begin to let go of the impossible standards we hold ourselves to. We begin to be more gentle with ourselves.
Recently, I’ve really resonated with the teachings of Ram Dass, an American spiritual teacher, psychologist, and author. I think he approaches this idea of holding space rather well.
While Ram Dass passed, his teachings live on. And lately, I feel particularly inspired by what he said about his experiences working with people who had AIDS. The following is an excerpt from a talk he gave in the 80s:
“If I sit down with somebody with AIDS and I think I’m helping them forget, they’re now somebody that needs to be helped. When actually, you have to look at it like: ‘You’re here and I’m here. You have an interesting incarnation this time, which includes AIDS.’
And it’s extraordinary that when your mind is quiet enough and you’re present, somebody else can get loose from their suffering. If they’re ready.
You have no moral right to take away their suffering. If the mother wants to sit in the dark, that’s her choice.
But you can become an environment so spacious that anybody can get free around you that is ready. That’s why you work on yourself. That’s what help you offer.”
What if, instead of letting our minds run wild with all those judgements and all those models of how things should be in our heads, we just became limitless?
So spacious that we allowed others to get free—or even freed ourselves?