Daehnert Counseling LLP

[10/27/20]   "Unforgiveness is like drinking poison and hoping the other person dies."
I am sure you've heard that quote before. If not, it's a good one to remember and it's true. On the flip side, I really love what Bob Goff says about forgiveness.

"Forgiveness is like drinking the poison for someone else and you both live!"
Love it!

I know so many folks who struggle with an unforgiving heart, and I see the poisonous effects it always has. What so many fail to recognize is how freeing letting go of the hurt and anger is compared to holding on hoping somehow that's going to help.

[10/23/20]   "Cynicism is just fear posing as confidence!"
-Bob Goff

[10/07/20]   "Selfless love is always costly. Fear can't afford it, pride doesn't understand it, and friends never forget it!"
-Bob Goff

Anatomy of Deception and Self-Delusion: Walter Lippmann on Public Opinion, Our Slippery Grasp of Truth, and the Discipline of Apprehending Reality Clearly

Boy this is a really thoughtful article from what appears to be sourced from a really thoughtful book! I think this is SO very true especially in light of the current times in which we live where information is passed at light speed and so many of us make opinions (which turn into our "truth") based on little to no true evidence.
Critical thinking is a lost art, and I'm afraid I have been guilty as charged for not applying "in truly effective thinking the prime necessity is to liquidate judgments, regain an innocent eye, disentangle feelings, be curious and open-hearted!"

brainpickings.org “If the connection between reality and human response were direct and immediate, rather than indirect and inferred, indecision and failure would be unknown.”

[08/10/20]   Ever wonder why there are constantly new diets out there? Is it because the old ones didn't work? If they did, there wouldn't be the latest and greatest one you might be trying.

[08/06/20]   “Pain is the medicine; comfort is the disease.”

So I read this somewhere recently and can’t locate the author or I’d happily give credit where credit is due. Just know it was from some leader about 1500 years ago who stated to a small tribal village.
I’d say it certainly still holds true today!
Most of us loathe pain but we don’t seem to loathe that comfortable misery of an existence.
Change is hard and most of us won’t willingly allow. So, we must be forced, painfully so sometimes, to change.
If you’ve never read Who Moved My Cheese? by Dr Spencer Martin, I highly recommend!

We Need A COVID Reality Check: An MD Shares His 5 Reasons Why

mindbodygreen.com There's a way to respect the virus without (literally) worrying yourself sick. 

Daehnert Counseling LLP

I posted this at the beginning of this pandemic and I’d say it still holds true today folks. All the news you’ll hear wants you to be terrified of this virus. “It’s out of control. Another wave coming in. Lock down everything and hope it gets better.” On and on everything sounds fatalistic and terrible!
No matter what anyone says, you’ll have to decide for yourself and your family, if you’re a parent, how you’ll choose to handle.
As for me and my house, we will remain hopeful, optimistic and will focus on facts and not all the media hype. I hope you choose to do the same.
Will you live in fear or have faith? Choice is yours.

Anyone exhausted hearing about COVID-19? You can’t ignore it because it’s everywhere and mostly all folks want to discuss. Why though, really?
Is this novel virus really that novel? Is it that scary and possibly more deadly than we want to believe? Is it serious enough to just about entirely shut down America along with most of the world? Maybe? Or does it in reality represent one of our biggest fears as earthlings-the fear of the unknown and just about our seemingly total loss of control?
As a natural control freak, and if I allow it, this unprecedented health crisis can consume me to the core. I have made a conscious and intentional decision however to relax, enjoy my family to the core and fully trust our Creator who is in complete control of it all.
So why do I write this? To reassure myself everything will be alright? That’d be a fair argument, but it wouldn’t be accurate. My desire is to encourage any of you who are truly scared and anxious, understandably so, to use this time to dig a little deeper into that fear. Ask yourself why you’re really so anxious and when you discover the answer, determine to focus on a solution for how you’ll respond this point forward.
Once you do this, you’ll be prepared for the next challenge not too far ahead! If you don’t deal with this “why” now, you’re setting yourself up for a possible long and painful journey ahead.

[06/16/20]   “If we could read the secret history of our enemies, we should find in each man’s life sorrow and suffering enough to disarm all hostility.”
-Henry W. Longfellow

[06/10/20]   “Think of what your life might be like if all the energy you spent, for example, angrily stewing about what others have done to you, or obsessively daydreaming about your missing soulmate, were available to you in the present moment and were channeled toward fully enjoying whatever you are doing now.”
-Richard Schwartz

[05/29/20]   Don't let who you used to be determine who you're going to be or becoming.

I often hear clients say in my office that people don't change, can't change, won't change. And sadly, that's often true. But I've seen many folks decide that they really want to become healthy and guess what? They actually do indeed become healthy over time and with lots of work.

It takes a lot of courage to make changes and none to remain the same. How will you be remembered?

[05/07/20]   Me: Hey God.

God: Hey John.

Me: I'm falling apart. Can you put me back together?

God: I would rather not.

Me: Why?

God: Because you aren't a puzzle.

Me: What about all of the pieces of my life that are falling down onto the ground?

God: Let them stay there for a while. They fell off for a reason. Take some time and decide if you need any of those pieces back.

Me: You don't understand! I'm breaking down!

God: No - you don't understand. You are breaking through. What you are feeling are just growing pains. You are shedding the things and the people in your life that are holding you back. You aren't falling apart. You are falling into place. Relax. Take some deep breaths and allow those things you don't need anymore to fall off of you. Quit holding onto the pieces that don't fit you anymore. Let them fall off. Let them go.

Me: Once I start doing that, what will be left of me?

God: Only the very best pieces of you.

Me: I'm scared of changing.

God: I keep telling you - YOU AREN'T CHANGING!! YOU ARE BECOMING!

Me: Becoming who?

God: Becoming who I created you to be! A person of light and love and charity and hope and courage and joy and mercy and grace and compassion. I made you for more than the shallow pieces you have decided adorn yourself with that you cling to with such greed and fear. Let those things fall off of you. I love you! Don't change! Become! Become! Become! Become who I made you to be. I'm going to keep telling you this until you remember it.

Me: There goes another piece.

God: Yep. Let it be.

Me: So...I'm not broken?

God: No - but you are breaking like the dawn. It's a new day. Become!

-John Roedel

Students and Their Mental Health

Interview I did regarding the stress our kids are experiencing during this time and how to help. It’s intended for both your teens and you as parents. Hope it helps some!

A conversation with Todd Daehnert, LPC

[03/27/20]   It's one thing to be self-centered for ego's sake vs. being "self-centered" for healing's sake.

[03/20/20]   Anyone exhausted hearing about COVID-19? You can’t ignore it because it’s everywhere and mostly all folks want to discuss. Why though, really?
Is this novel virus really that novel? Is it that scary and possibly more deadly than we want to believe? Is it serious enough to just about entirely shut down America along with most of the world? Maybe? Or does it in reality represent one of our biggest fears as earthlings-the fear of the unknown and just about our seemingly total loss of control?
As a natural control freak, and if I allow it, this unprecedented health crisis can consume me to the core. I have made a conscious and intentional decision however to relax, enjoy my family to the core and fully trust our Creator who is in complete control of it all.
So why do I write this? To reassure myself everything will be alright? That’d be a fair argument, but it wouldn’t be accurate. My desire is to encourage any of you who are truly scared and anxious, understandably so, to use this time to dig a little deeper into that fear. Ask yourself why you’re really so anxious and when you discover the answer, determine to focus on a solution for how you’ll respond this point forward.
Once you do this, you’ll be prepared for the next challenge not too far ahead! If you don’t deal with this “why” now, you’re setting yourself up for a possible long and painful journey ahead.

Have always loved this simple analogy of worry. So true!

Change is good and can be profound, so best not to resist but rather embrace it.

Taking Care of Your Mental Health in the Face of Uncertainty

Food for thought as we all face uncertainty.
My best encouragement to you is this—realize you control nothing in reality other than your attitude of what you’re doing about what you have no control over!

afsp.org Taking Care of Your Mental Health in the Face of Uncertainty AFSP Share517.4KTweetShare By Doreen Marshall, Ph.D. Human beings like certainty. We are hard-wired to want to know what is happening when and to notice things that feel threatening to us. When things feel uncertain or when we don’t gene...

I love this quote by Jung and know that for me and how God wired me (therefore choosing the role of a therapist by trade because of my interest in people's lives), one of the greatest honors I receive just about daily is hearing those innermost thoughts of individuals so they don't feel alone.

No question divorce causes damage to everyone involved. But what makes it especially damaging to the kiddos are the parents inability to get along afterward and act like adults. Or at least one of the parents....