Fit Counseling LLC

11/05/2024

We can care about the feelings of other people without being controlled by the feelings of other people. This struggle has a tendency to pop up around the holidays. Remember, it is not your responsibility to keep everyone happy.

10/16/2024

In this political season, discerning what to believe can be challenging, much like the battles we face in our minds. It’s essential to choose our focus wisely. Seeking guidance from a trusted counselor or wise friend can provide clarity amid the chaos. We should strive to consistently prioritize thoughts that are healthy and true.

10/02/2024

It’s clear that feeling valued and appreciated is crucial for our mental and emotional well-being. However, we often overlook the benefits of expressing gratitude ourselves. Offering encouragement and showing appreciation can be even more rewarding than receiving it. If you find yourself feeling unappreciated, try focusing on the people you can thank and uplift. Giving thanks to God and people may be more valuable than you realize!

01/29/2024

This is absolutely how communication in marriage feels at times😂😂

01/11/2024

So, we're doing a thing...spread the word!

11/07/2023

The more books I read, the more experts I listen to, the more life stories I get the privilege of listening to, the more I am convinced of this simple but powerful truth:
We must take control of our thoughts. If you want change, start there!

09/12/2023

Emotions are helpful indicators. They warn or alert us to something going on. They can motivate us to ask good questions. For instance, asking "why am I feeling overwhelmed?" may alert me to lack of balance in my life. It may also warn me that I am thinking in unhealthy ways. As an example, we are likely to be overwhelmed if we believe it is our role to keep everyone around us happy.

Emotions are not dictators. We cannot impulsively do what the feeling seems to be urging us to do. If a person is feeling anxious, it does not always mean he should run from the thing triggering the anxiety.

Emotional maturity comes with the ability to recognize, evaluate, and communicate emotions well. When we understand that, we are likely to make healthier and more thoughtful choices.

04/30/2023

Dua 28, grew up with loving parents, but her mom struggled with her emotions.

Anytime she went to her mom for support, her mom had a tendency to make the situation about herself. When she was a teenager and told her mom she didn’t want to be a doctor, her mom said “can’t you just do it for me?!” After her first breakup, her mom said: “he’s not good for you anyway. I went through many men before I met your father!”

There was little space for Dua, and her moms feelings centered all conversations.

Dua has picked up the same habit. When her friends come to her with problems at work or in relationships, she goes into advice mode. Her boyfriend Tyrone just lost his father. Watching him in grief is too overwhelming for her. When he talks about his father, she lists of all the things she did after a close friend died. He’s seeking support, but she hasn’t leaned how to give it. So he shuts down.

Dua never leaned:
- what people actually want is empathy
- rarely do they need advice (most of us know what we’re ‘supposed to do anyway)
- how to simply listen, even when she feels uncomfortable
- how to ask someone: how can I support you right now?
- how to not insert herself or her own emotions

01/12/2023

Maturity leads to self assessment more than it leads to trying to fix others. It doesn’t come easily though, especially for counselors😉.

A successful person is not offended or afraid of their faults; they see them as opportunities to grow. This is difficult and requires humility, but it brings problems to the surface that can actually be solved.

12/09/2022

While we should certainly empathize with others, we have to remember that their feelings ultimately belong to them (and ours to us), and that it's not our responsibility to change or internalize them.