02/11/2026
Moving into a very small place with pretty much no yard has been challenging. š
But the point was to change it up. To live as close to the beach as possible for at least one year.
Meanwhile I have dragged two dogs and two cats with me and they have just been along for the ride. While also driving me absolutely crazy sometimes. š«
Iām grateful I have them despite the chaos. Because they too have had their world changed an insane amount of times the last year and a halfā¦. And yet, they still love me and are ready for whatever is next. ššš»
Life is about taking risks and not staying too comfortable in my opinion. Itās always haunted me that saying⦠āyouāll regret the risks you didnāt takeā. I donāt want to wonder what if. No thank you.
But some days I do wonder if Iām crazy! Some days I doubt myself A LOT or feel guilty they donāt have a better life with a more spacious yard. And then some days I feel like super woman. And then some days I feel like everything is going to fall apart⦠again.
Grief can be weird like that. Especially when you are in the thick of making a huge identity shift and youāve let go of a s**t ton of belongings and moved to a completely new place and hardly know anyone close by.
Thereās some part of me that knows Iāll have a moment in the future when Iāll look back on this time and think āman that was wild but damn I was brave.ā
Iāll never forget I was at this 10 day meditation retreat years ago. You werenāt allowed to talk to anyone but the meditation teacher and even that was only a couple minutes a day. I was crying, overwhelmed by my thoughts and the pain that was coming up in my body. She listened and then leaned towards me and said ābe braveā. And whenever I feel like I donāt know what Iām doing or I canāt take it anymore, I remember that advice. So simple yet it says everything.
Itās okay not to have it figured out. Itās okay to make mistakes. Itās okay to change your mind. Itās more than okay not to be perfect. Itās okay to backslide. Itās okay to start over. Itās okay. Just keep showing up.
Meditation is a returning back to the present moment again and again and again. And the same applies to life. š šš»