Mother Wound Project

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Mother Wound Project

We are sharing education and support about the mother wound

12/18/2025

All parents make mistakes. Not all parents make repair.

12/17/2025

A regular part of my work as a therapist who specializes in estrangement is sitting with adult children after an estranged parent has unexpectedly passed away. In the vast majority of cases, these adult children go on to learn, if they didn’t already know, that their estranged parent made a conscious decision to punish them beyond the grave by cutting them out of the will.

The discovery hurts at first. Then something else becomes clear. In their their final grab for control, these parents give their children an unintended gift: confirmation.

Confirmation that love was conditional. Confirmation that power and control were valued over relationship and connection. Confirmation that reconciliation was never truly possible. Confirmation that no contact wasn’t impulsive, cruel, or extreme. It was always the only reasonable option.

Estranged parents who leave their children out of their wills to “get the last word” aren’t saying anything new. They’re simply putting into writing what their children’s nervous systems knew all along. And while that kind of clarity can sting, it also brings relief. Because it means the child didn’t misjudge the situation. They responded appropriately to the reality they were given.

12/14/2025

If the holidays bring up guilt, second-guessing, or pressure to “just let it go,” you’re not broken—you’re responding to a system that has long prioritized parental comfort and supremacy over child wellbeing and care. The days of “I’m the parent, you’re the child” are on their way out. What we’re witnessing now is the frantic clamoring of the parents who benefitted from sitting atop that hierarchy as it finally begins to crumble beneath them. When you’re used to “because I said so,” equality feels like oppression. Take good care of yourself amid all the noise, kids. We’ve got this. 😊🎄

12/12/2025

“My child abused me by going no contact!” Let me be very clear: Children don’t ask to be born. They have zero say in who their parents are. Zero. If anyone has the right to exit a relationship, it’s someone who never asked to be in that relationship in the first place.

There’s nothing abusive about stepping away from a relationship you never consented to. There’s nothing immoral about it. There’s nothing unethical about it.
Theres’s nothing “anti-bible” about it, either (my undergrad degree was in biblical studies, for those keeping score).

It’s not abuse when an adult child cuts contact. Period.

If you believe a child can abuse a parent simply by opting out of knowing them, then let’s be intellectually honest…

Are you “abusing” an old friend you no longer speak to?
Are you “abusing” every ex you’ve ever broken up with? Are you “using your children as pawns” if you don’t require them to spend time with these people?

Of course not.

You may not like the fact that your adult child chooses to keep their life separate from yours, but disappointment, discomfort, and even grief do not equal abuse. Labeling autonomy as harm because you’re angry about losing control doesn’t make it so. And it’s the “kids these days” who need to grow up?

12/10/2025

It’s the season to end dysfunctional holiday traditions no matter how cranky grandma gets about it.

What bad holiday traditions are you ending in 2025?

12/09/2025

When someone frames estrangement as a trend, they imply that people are going no-contact because of outside influences, rather than acknowledging the painful reality that so many have had to leave their support systems because staying connected hurt more than stepping away.

12/07/2025

Your parent got to choose who had access to you when they were raising you. Now you get to choose who has access to your children when you are raising them. That’s not called “punishing your parents.” That’s called doing your job as a parent.

12/05/2025

Every parent is capable of change, but not all parents are willing to do the work of changing.

12/03/2025

Spanking is hitting. Slapping is hitting. Smacking is hitting. Beating is hitting. Calling it “discipline” doesn’t change the fact that the very person who was responsible for protecting a child chose to hurt them instead.

12/01/2025

After an adult child goes no contact, parents take one of two paths: the path of the defensive estranged parent or the path of the reflective estranged parent. Defensive estranged parents prioritize image management and deflection. Reflective estranged parents are willing to self-reflect and take accountability for their actions. Here’s what’s striking: defensive estranged parents will often tell you exactly how they became estranged without even realizing they’re doing it. Their words reveal the very patterns that pushed their children to the breaking point.

11/28/2025

Most people don’t talk about this, but we will: having boundaries with your mom can feel like the most unnatural, anxiety-producing, impossible task in the world.

I know, because I regularly sit with clients from around the world who whisper, “I feel like a terrible person for needing to say no to my mom.” They say it with shame in their eyes—the kind of shame that doesn’t originate with them, but was handed down to them long before they had words.

11/26/2025

Let’s not keep repeating the cycles that got us here.

Sending so much love to all the cycle breakers who are making changes and refusing to accept the harmful treatment that was the norm in so many of our families.

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