Rachel VanRiper- A2 Postpartum Doula

01/16/2022

Things I didn’t anticipate about being a new parent: comparison. worry. delayed bonding.
I compared myself and my son to every mom I scrolled past on Instagram. They looked so happy. So sure of themselves. Meanwhile, I couldn’t put him down in his crib to nap for months due to crippling anxiety. I rarely put real clothes on. I didn’t stage photo shoots. I feared every possibility that could be coming next. I struggled to bond and enjoy motherhood, and yet, I couldn’t keep my eyes off of him. He consumed every thought, every choice, every movement.
What a mental load. What a complete rewriting of our physical and psychological make up. To feel, all at once, great fear, immense levels of love, complete doubt, and an other worldly determination to persevere. That, I learned, is the fourth trimester preparing us for the parenthood journey ahead.

📸:

01/08/2022

"Whether you experienced postpartum anxiety or not, the adjustment period can feel long, sleepless, and uncertain. It can bring feelings related to anxiety, even if you’re not someone who has faced anxiety before. But that first moment, when you finally feel a touch of normalcy, when the new becomes less daunting, when you’re feeling like you’ve settled back into yourself, that feeling is unmatched.

Prior to motherhood, I was able to harness any touch of anxiety for good. I was always on time, stayed organized, kept up with people, stayed active. But the anxiety became out of my control once I became a mom. It turned from something that kept me overly organized to overly panicked. Overly tired. Overly worried. Over googling. Overthinking. It felt like that would just always be my normal now, and that was unsettling. These “nighttime scaries”, as I lovingly referred to them, crept in night after night. Until they didn’t... and I felt like myself again. Maybe it was the hormones aligning again or the routine feeling more familiar. I didn’t know if it would stay or if I’d keep facing some moments of anxiety, but to know I was still capable of meeting my old self with a mix of my new self, feeling relaxed, and soaking up beauty in this motherhood life was unbelievably healing.

Remember that it’s all a phase. Every part of the newborn stage is a phase. And you will graduate from that phase and enter a new one with its own joys and hurdles. But the hurdles of today won’t be the hurdles forever. You will overcome them. You will learn from them. You will meet yourself in them." -

Thank you Rachel for allowing us to feature you this week! If you'd like to be featured here use in your post or tag

11/14/2021

At 33 weeks, I was thinking about what to put in my hospital bag. How labor would go. If my ankles would ever go back to normal size. What everyone would think of the name we chose. You know what I wasn’t thinking about? Who I was about to become on the other side.
Pictures flooded my feed of new mom friends, speaking about never loving anything more. Being on cloud nine with their new baby asleep on their chest. The other side of motherhood never crossed my mind. Until I experienced it. And while it was full of love, it was also full of loneliness. Confusion. A loss of identity.
Soon those mom friends in my feed began reaching out with words of encouragement and even gifts. Because they too had experienced the other side of motherhood. The less talked about or advertised side. And then came my greatest lesson of motherhood: it can be both beautiful and overwhelming. Joyful and full of grief. Rewarding and challenging. And we need to talk about both. To allow both sides of motherhood to exist as one. To not shame one or glorify the other. To prepare to meet not only our baby but ourselves. ✨

09/15/2021

Happy 2nd Birthday to the boy who made me a mama. I don’t know how these two years passed as quickly as they did.
I wish I could go back and tell the girl in this picture how much she’d grow to love being a mom. How much she’d overcome. How strong she would become. How much she’d grow to love this baby. How much she’d grow to love herself; the mother that was born that day.
Countless lessons learned in these past 2 years. I’m a better person because I get to be your mom. ✨

08/31/2021

Day care started this week. His first day care experience. After a year and a half being together every day, I’m officially back to work in person, which leaves this guy with someone besides me. We found a wonderful lady to watch him who is so understanding, so calm, and we trust her fully. But the feelings surrounding this particular adjustment are overwhelming.
My mom was a stay at home mom until I went to school full time and I always imagined I’d do the same. But then I realized I love working. I love teaching. I love having that as part of my identity. But the trade off is day care. Time apart. Tears at drop off. Extreme mom guilt. Nerves throughout the day. Questioning myself. Feeling selfish for working outside of the house.
I don’t have the magic answer to relieve your anxieties if you are currently experiencing the same thing but just know you’re not alone. You’re a great mom. Your kid is resilient and will be okay. Your nerves are valid. Your desires or need to work are valid. As with every phase, this one will pass and a new one will come. Lessons will be learned, growth will be made, and you will be stronger on the other side. We’ve got this, mamas. ✨

08/12/2021

Thank you to all of you who voted! I’m so honored to even be considered! ♥️ Can’t wait to continue serving the families in this community!

08/12/2021

Mom Confession:
I still rock my kid to sleep sometimes.
The only reason that this is a confession and not just a statement is because of the mom shaming and guilt I have surrounding that. “Oh, you didn’t sleep train?!”, “Well, he’ll never learn how to sleep on his own now.” are comments that frequently play on repeat in my head while I hold my son at night.
But here’s the thing: it works for us. It’s not an every night occurrence but when it is needed, we do it. Motherhood is a continuous flow in and out of survival mode. Phases will come and go, and with them new routines may sprout. Flexibility is a key to surviving, while also keeping routine. Hence, why motherhood can be so challenging.
Do what you need to survive the challenging phases. Hold them a little longer. Rock them when you need to. You are the expert on your kid, but also on what you need as a parent. This is a no shame zone. I carry that into my work as a doula as well. I’m not here to be the mother, but to support the mother. To nurture. To listen. To provide resources. So that she can feel confident in her abilities to do what works for her. For her baby. For her family. Because at the end of the day, we are all just trying to do our best. 💛

08/02/2021

What a year it’s been to navigate parenthood. While many of us got borrowed time to be home with our babies, that time came with a plethora of tough decisions. To travel or not. To vaccinate or not. To visit family or not. To attend in person school or not. To leave a career for family or not.
If you’re anything like me, you put your head down, made the day to day choices you felt were best, and just continued to survive. It wasn’t until this past week away with family where I began to feel hopeful that ‘survive’ would continue to transition back into ‘thrive’. As soon as my survival mode of maternity leave had started to fade, as life started feeling less of a blur and more familiar, the world shut down. Survival mode: reengaged. And survival mode takes its toll mentally, emotionally, physically. What a year to be a parent.
So if you have felt the weight of the world on your shoulders this year, you’re not alone. If you’ve questioned the decisions you’ve made or wondered when surviving would turn into thriving, you’re not alone. Find peace today. In the water. In tiny hands tossing rocks in the lake for the first time. In your child’s smile. In a book. In a trashy tv show. In a conversation. In a new beginning. In adventure. For this is the year of the parents. Those who made impossible choices, sacrificed, and will thrive again.

05/28/2021

I want to get out there to help some new parents this summer and fall! So enjoy this shameless doula plug! ✨
If you or anyone you know are interested in a doula to provide a warm transition into motherhood or introducing a new baby to an already established family of children, please reach out for information and a consultation.
While I’m based in Michigan, I can provide emotional support and strategies through virtual sessions as well. Due to Covid, this has already become a regular practice for most of us and I am happy to keep the virtual option open to any families who would prefer that. Let’s do this!

04/20/2021

Motherhood begins long before there’s a baby in your arms. It starts with the longing. It starts with the tears. It starts with the questioning, the procedures, the research. It starts with that pit in your stomach after a devastating negative pregnancy test.
Here, we hold space for those who are continuing to yearn desperately for a baby in their arms but facing infertility challenges. Those who have spent all their time, energy, and resources visiting doctors, receiving treatments, undergoing tests, administering daily shots to themselves. Those who are remaining hopeful through the process and those who are struggling to remain so. The love you have to give is the kind that’s selfless. Unconditional. Relentless. But the same can be said for your strength, mama.
Your anger is valid. Your pain is valid. Your frustration. Your hope. Your patience. You. All valid.
We see you. We are saving space for you always.

03/08/2021

02/23/2021

“Hard work is important. So are play and nonproductivity. My worth is tied not to my productivity but to my existence. I am worthy of rest.” -

You are just as worthy of rest as your baby. You are also just as much in need of it. I wish I could go back to the me in this picture and tell her to turn off the negative thoughts related to the work I was letting slide because I chose to let my baby sleep on me instead. I didn’t allow myself to live in this moment at all. You can see it in my eyes: I’m tired. I’m spent. I’m worried. But I’m not letting go of any of it to just rest.
May we work on loving ourselves enough that we allow time for our own rest. Time to exist there. To dwell there. Whether it be 5 minutes or 50, take a breath. Turn the thoughts of the day off. Laugh with your kids. Snuggle your kids. Text a friend. Close your eyes. Unclench you’re jaw. Relax your shoulders. You’ve accomplished a lot and you’ll continue to accomplish more. But for this moment, just rest.