05/05/2025
“But You Can’t Design Your Life Around Your Neurotype, Emma…”
Oh, how many times have I heard this. Especially when I was home educating:
“But children have to live in the real world.”
“You can’t just design your life around your neurotype.”
And my answer, both then and now, is actually very simple: Yes. Yes, you absolutely can.
In fact, many of us must — not as a luxury, but as a necessity. Because trying to live a life that isn’t aligned with how your brain works is like trying to wear shoes three sizes too small and being told to just “get used to the pain.”
I’ve seen this up close in my own family.
My brother has worked in a niche field for over 25 years. He’s an expert — respected, successful, deeply skilled. He didn’t “overcome” his neurodivergence. He leaned into it. He built a life that works with his brain, not against it. His attention to detail, his focus, his drive to go deep rather than wide — all of those ND traits are assets in his world.
And now, watching my own children, I see the same story unfolding in their own unique ways.
One of my sons will work in a field where he can wear clothes that don’t cause him sensory distress. That’s not “special treatment.” That’s respecting his neurology. He’s not ready to be in a crowded office environment. Maybe one day he will be. Maybe not. But forcing it now helps no one — least of all him.
His brother, on the other hand, is ready for that kind of environment. He thrives with people, with teamwork, with the energy of others around him.
That’s the point.
Neuroaffirming doesn’t mean giving up on the “real world.” It means accepting that there isn’t just one real world. The corporate 9-to-5 open-plan office isn’t the gold standard of human functioning. The world is huge and varied — and it’s that diversity that gives us strength.
We don’t need to squeeze everyone into one mould. We need to give children the time, space, and support to discover their mould. And then help them build a life around it.
So yes — you can design your life around your neurotype.
You can design a life that doesn’t crush your nervous system.
You can design a life that honours your energy, your rhythm, your sensory profile, your communication style.
And when we do this for children — when we model it, champion it, and support it — we don’t create weakness. We create resilience.
Because true strength doesn’t come from forcing yourself to survive in an environment that harms you.
It comes from knowing who you are — and building a life that lets you thrive.
Photo: Me standing in the rain. Not sure what or why but it’s definitely me 😂