Alison York, LCMHC

10/05/2022

I am now available for Teletherapy for clients in the Carolinas. You can reach me at 919-999-3090 or AlisonNCTherapist@gmail.com. www.alisonsanderson.net

11/11/2021

These will immediately help your partner feel more heard and seen while simultaneously training yourself to let go of the need to be right.

Meticulous communication is an art.

05/27/2020

Do you or someone you know need extra support during such a transitional time of separation or divorce? Join me for my weekly online women's support group.

04/14/2020

Bull City Psychotherapy, the group practice I'm a part of is offering free online support meetings for healthcare and first responders. Please share!

Please share this resource and FREE support groups for first responders and those on the frontlines!

04/14/2020

We often "hire out" responsibilities that are our own. Here's a helpful reminder...

02/01/2020

I'm excited to announce that beginning next week I'll be working with Bull City Pychotherapy at their new Apex location as well as their flagship office in Durham.

11/21/2019

I want to look at what happens when we don’t forgive ourselves. Let’s say, by way of example, that you cheated on your last partner. If that eff up is sitting inside of you, and it’s an unhealed wound, here’s what it sounds like: “I’m damaged and broken... and deeply ashamed... but also I cheated because I was unhappy ... and I wasn’t being treated well... and I deserved better.” We know this wound is unhealed because of the shame-and-blame-flip-flop: either I suck (shame) or you suck (blame). As a wound heals, the story changes. A story that reflects healing centers on context, accountability, and self-compassion. A story that reflects healing also includes commitments we make to ourselves going forward, commitments we make that are designed to help us stay in our integrity. When we haven’t forgiven ourselves for our transgressions, the wound festers inside us, and it becomes really hard to establish a healthy relationship with a new partner. Even if we are not at risk of repeating that same mistake (in this example, infidelity), we are at risk of sabotaging the new relationship.
* We may struggle to accept our new partner’s love because it feels like a mismatch with our self-loathing.
* We may feel suspicious of our new partner’s fidelity. That’s an old skool defense mechanism known as projection.
* We may doubt the viability of the relationship because pessimism is the inevitable outgrowth of the suppression of pain.
What comes up for you when you imagine forgiving yourself? Forgiving yourself is not about being flippant or cavalier. It is not about minimizing the impact of your transgression. It is about standing in the truth that we get to be imperfect and whole. It is about the practice grace so that we can show up for our relationships today. And forgiveness is strategic. Our risk of re-offending is far greater if we can’t bring our transgression into the light of day to be addressed, examined, and healed.

11/14/2019