08/19/2024
Nakei Powell Uniqli Designed
SITTING WITH UNCOMFORTABLE FEELINGS
Societal norms typically view emotions like pain, fear, anxiety, grief, and uncertainty as bad and need to be fixed. Ultimately provoking a feeling that something is wrong when they don't feel happy or relaxed.
As a result, feelings of shame and drastic attempts to hide, numb, or escape the emotion arise. While it is natural to want uncomfortable emotions to disappear, they must be experienced; otherwise, they tend to linger. When we acknowledge, accept, and allow ourselves to feel without resistance, the intensity of the feelings will decrease.
While the phrase “SITTING" can seem pretty passive. It is actually very important to be intentional in allowing yourself to do so. It means not trying to force yourself to feel better (by fixing or numbing) as well as not making yourself feel worse (by wallowing in how crappy everything is, or constantly rehearsing painful narratives, or feeling victimized by how hurt or worried you are).
Tips on ways to sit with uncomfortable feelings:
1. Let it be.
Don’s struggle against it. Allow yourself to express it. Its okay to cry, talk to (or text) a friend, scream into a pillow, journal or whatever you need to do in a safe way.
2. Be gentle.
It's absolutely normal to not feel okay sometimes. It’s okay to be scared or sad. You’re human and life gets complicated. A little self-compassion goes a long way.
3. Name it––identify what the actual feeling is.
Underneath boiling anger might be deeper feelings that are harder to acknowledge or admit such as loneliness or fear. Try to determine where you feel it in your body…is it an ache? A tightness? Is your heart pounding? Are you tired? Understand that it may take a while to understand big emotions, so stay curious about what’s really going on inside and be patient with yourself.
4. Resist the urge to label a feeling as bad.
There are 8 basic human emotions (joy, sadness, anger, fear, surprise, disgust, trust, and anticipation) and it’s natural to think of the uncomfortable ones as “bad.” Yet, all of them are normal. Think of them as data and pay attention to what they might be trying to tell you. Great things can come out of discomfort (growth, insight, learning, self-understanding) so don’t be in a hurry to pick a fight with whatever feeling is showing up for you.
5. Slow things down.
Remember healing and relief take time. Give yourself grace! Be kind to yourself, seek comfort, and allow heavy feelings to lift naturally. It's easier than struggling. Give it a chance; the only thing to lose is the feeling itself.
Lastly, if you find yourself struggling with sitting with uncomfortable feelings consider reaching out to a good therapist who can help you sort through the complicated emotions. There’s relief in being able to work through situations that have triggered uncomfortable emotions as well as being able to develop and implement healthy coping skills.
Services offered in office and telehealth. Click the link to schedule a free consultation today https://www.shalandashouse.com/meet-the-team
