Noah Ray’s Mom

08/20/2024

08/11/2024

Yes!!! This is so true!!

In seasons of prolonged darkness it can be difficult to find the light. Thank the good Lord that sometimes, the light finds you. 🔅✨

The past 18 months have been a beast. Wrapping my head around new normals no one would ever ask for, while grabbing hold of every slice of goodness that comes my way, all at the same time, has become a daily event. I don’t share the details here because, mostly, they are not mine to share. What’s mine to share is it’s been hard. And heavy. And at time horrible. And I’m leaning my place in it all.

The me who wants nothing to do with being alone but rather, more than anything, wants to hang out with people everyday, to say a quick “yes” to invitations and do life with many, has learned to grab hold of the little crew under my roof with deep gratitude, instead of feeling isolated and alone. It’s a lot. And it’s life.

There are no neat bows to wrap things up. But there is light, and there is Love and they will always find a way to find us. Always.

07/25/2024

Accurate

07/05/2024

What Autism and Fireworks look like for us!

https://www.facebook.com/share/UGuGzogK7oDVdrDT/?mibextid=WC7FNe

05/25/2024

Sharing because this is SPOT on

The only changes for Noah is that his ‘little’ brother Tanner has become his best friend and Noah has an uncanny resemblance to his Great Grandpa Sam
🩵💛

I never dreamed you wouldn't talk.
I never dreamed you wouldn't develop typically.
I never dreamed your pain would slow you down.
I never dreamed your struggles would be so big.
I never dreamed you would rely on me for your whole life.
I never dreamed your younger years would be full of specialists instead of playgroups.
I never dreamed you wouldn't be invited to parties or sleep overs.
I never dreamed people wouldn't like you.
I never dreamed people would make fun of you or, mock you or, stare.
I never dreamed there'd be things you couldn't do.

I did dream that you would be happy and healthy, and you are.
I did dream that we would play together, bake cookies and cuddle under a blanket on cold, lazy Sundays, and we do.
I did dream that your eyes would glisten when you smile, and they do.
I did dream your big sister would be your best friend, and she is.
I did dream I would help you with everything you needed me to, and I do.
I did dream that you would be just like your Dad, and you are.
I did dream you would teach me about the world through your eyes, and you have.

I did dream that I would love you and that I would tell you every day, and I do.

I didn't dream that you would be Special needs, not at all. But I did dream, my baby boy, that you would be someone special, and you are. You truly are.

Love, Mama x

Keep going dear Mama.
I love you.
Love, Christine x Special Soul Mama

03/16/2024

https://www.facebook.com/share/Wt18TVKbHY9ejqrw/?mibextid=WC7FNe

03/15/2024

https://www.facebook.com/share/p/sfpwr4QejjLjVqbt/?mibextid=WC7FNe

03/13/2024

A beautiful friend of mine wrote this blog post back in 2009 after reading Roadmap to Holland. She so beautifully describes the journey. This part, however, moved me to tears because it so beautifully describes the journey Noah has had us on. I sure do adore my tour guide! 🩵💛

“……And off you go to Frontierland-the place where you can pave the way where no path exists; tearing down trees and prickly bushes all the while loudly proclaiming your defense and allegiance, your pride and adoration. You boldly go where no one has yet gone before you, and you marvel that your efforts can make the world a better place not just for yourself and the ones you love, but for others that are at the park with you, and those that will visit after you.
It's Adventureland at its finest. “

I mean no disrespect to Ms. Kingsley, and at the risk of ticking off lots of my friends who read my blog, I'm afraid I must emphatically di...

03/03/2024

This is so very important!!!
I was the Mom who wasn’t gonna give my son medications to ‘subdue’ his behaviors. After trying a thousand other things, I acquiesced and started down the journey of trial and error with meds. One ‘supermed’ that worked beautifully for others was a disaster for my son. We stopped that one and started another one with what I thought was success. Only to discover he was overmedicated and now we are on a lower dose. I feel terrible sometimes that o wasn’t a better voice for my non verbal son. So this is perfect encouragement in this season of advocacy and parenting!
🩵💛

02/26/2024

I was chosen, I guess, to be your Mama.

I don’t think it was an accident. I don’t think it was a mistake. I don’t think there was some other path I was suppose to take, but stumbled on this one instead, no. I believe I was picked on purpose.

I think about that when it’s really hard.

When the behaviours are big and the meltdowns are strong.
When I climb into bed exhausted and the morning light comes too quick.
When it feels heavy and constant and long and tough, I remember that I was chosen, and pull myself back up.

When the pain of your pain stings me sharply,
When the grief of what once was and the what will probably never be, hits me,
When the loneliness of this path holds my hand and the fear of all that I don’t know grasps my chest, I remember that I was chosen, and I hold myself together.

When regression drops by and I am flung once more into thick of it,
When others don’t understand and professionals don’t listen,
When the questions list gets longer than the answers one and when I’m scared I’m not doing any of it right, I remember that I was chosen, and I back myself once more.

When you are going through your hardest parts and the greyest clouds roll in and life looks seemingly uncolourful, I remember that I was chosen to be your Mama.

Me.

How different would it look if you were given to someone else?
How much love would hug you if you weren’t given to me?
Would your hards be harder? Would your smile be smaller? Would your days be darker and your heart too empty?
Would you be listened to? Would you be heard? Would you be helped and held and understood at all?

My eyes fill with tears to think of your days without me in it.

I make mistakes and I get it wrong and I don’t have all the answers but, I do my best and I get back up and I keep going, every single day because,

I was chosen to be your Mama.

You are mine and I am very grateful.

Keep going dear Special Soul Mama,
You are the right one for your little baby.
Keep going.
I love you.
Love, Jennifer x Special Soul Mama

02/02/2024

Copied…..To all my warrior mammas 💜

A touching dedication to special needs children.

Someone I love relies on me in ways you will never understand.

Someone I love endures pain and challenges that break my heart and renew my spirit at the same time.

Someone I love is unable to advocate for themselves for things that most of us take for granted.

Someone I love will never have the opportunities that every child should have.

Someone I love will need unconditional love and support after I am gone - this frightens me to the core.

Someone I love encounters pity, stereotyping responses, and prejudice at every turn, because they look, act, and/or learn differently than others.

Someone I love has needs that require me to allow "outsiders" to have power and input in areas that should be mine alone to meet.

Someone I love will continue to look to me for everything in life long after other children are able to assume a place as part of the world.

Someone I love has needs that require more time and energy than I have to give.

Someone I love has needs that mean I am not able to meet basic needs of my own.

Someone I love has needs that have become the driving force behind major decisions I make.

Someone I love has changed me in ways I will never be able to describe.

Someone I love has taught me about love and about the really important things in life...

And still others don't understand what it is to be me.. they aren't living in my skin.
❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️