02/14/2026
I love the work of Matt and Joy Kahn! What friction is showing up for you lately and how is it helping you to grow! (psst, lets explore it in your next follow-up
Friction is often misunderstood. We are conditioned to believe that ease means alignment and resistance means retreat. So when something feels heavy, complicated, or emotionally charged, the immediate instinct is to question the path itself.
But friction is not always a stop sign.
Friction is an expression of pressure.
And pressure reveals where something is not yet integrated.
When you experience tension, it is usually one of three things asking for your attention:
A truth you have been postponing.
A boundary you have been ignoring.
Or a skill you are being invited to develop.
Friction exposes misalignment between who you are becoming and what you are currently tolerating.
It might show up as irritation in a conversation that once felt fine.
It might appear as exhaustion in work that used to energize you.
It might arise as restlessness in a relationship dynamic that no longer fits.
None of this automatically means you are “off path.”
It's more likely you are evolving.
Growth creates friction because your identity resists change and the nervous system prefers familiarity over expansion.
When you stretch into new territory, the old structure tightens before it releases.
If you run from friction too quickly, you abandon the refinement process.
If you stay with it consciously, you gain clarity.
You may start off by asking,
“Why is this so hard?”
We would invite you to ask instead, “What is this teaching me about myself?”
Sometimes friction asks you to adjust what your doing.
Sometimes it asks you to speak what your feeling.
Sometimes it asks you to leave a situation.
Sometimes it asks you to deepen your investment.
But it always asks you to look.
Friction is not punishment for a wrong choice or direction, it is feedback bringing you information.
