Me & my childhood trauma

Me & my childhood trauma My lifelong story with childhood trauma has made me realize how wonderful life actually is.

I woke up this morning, around 2:00 am, in a cabin in staying at in the middle of a forest in Flagstaff, because I’m her...
07/04/2024

I woke up this morning, around 2:00 am, in a cabin in staying at in the middle of a forest in Flagstaff, because I’m here for a horse show. I walked outside at that time to get some pills from my car, and looked up at the sky. I was in awe, I have never seen so many stars, constellations, I could even see the star cloud, that’s is called the Sagittarius star cloud....

I woke up this morning, around 2:00 am, in a cabin in staying at in the middle of a forest in Flagstaff, because I’m here for a horse show. I walked outside at that time to get some pills from my c…

To anyone who knows me, I believe you can say I’m a pretty cheerful person, but I do tend to complain a lot. I complain ...
06/21/2024

To anyone who knows me, I believe you can say I’m a pretty cheerful person, but I do tend to complain a lot. I complain about the weather, I complain about not feeling perfectly right, I complain about just about anything or everything I can possible find, to complain about. While starting my day, this morning, I was listening to a new book, called “What’s it like to be married to me?”, by Linda Dillow, and in the very beginning of this book, she explains how every time the Bible mentions someone who is complaining or that is indignant in some way, it’s mostly the married women....

To anyone who knows me, I believe you can say I’m a pretty cheerful person, but I do tend to complain a lot. I complain about the weather, I complain about not feeling perfectly right, I complain a…

I know that a lot of the things I keep saying, may get old to some people, and I get it, if I had to listen to myself al...
05/17/2024

I know that a lot of the things I keep saying, may get old to some people, and I get it, if I had to listen to myself always talking about this trauma stuff, I would want to say, “just get over it”, and at times I do that to myself, specially when it ruins a day, or even a moment that I could have been thinking forward, or just living the moment without having to bring up my past....

I know that a lot of the things I keep saying, may get old to some people, and I get it, if I had to listen to myself always talking about this trauma stuff, I would want to say, “just get over it…

I’m not someone special or different to anyone else out there, and sometimes I read books like David Goggins’ “Can’t Hur...
05/15/2024

I’m not someone special or different to anyone else out there, and sometimes I read books like David Goggins’ “Can’t Hurt Me”, or “The boy that was raised like a dog”, by Bruce D. Perry, and I think to myself, “I have nothing to be complaining about, my childhood trauma is so minimal, compared to that of these kids, etc.”, and I diminish my experience with my trauma and triggers, and I start to look down on myself....

I’m not someone special or different to anyone else out there, and sometimes I read books like David Goggins’ “Can’t Hurt Me”, or “The boy that was raised like a dog”, by Bruce D. Perry, and I thin…

The Window of Tolerance refers to the zones of arousal that a traumatized individual functions. The more hyperarousal or...
05/12/2024

The Window of Tolerance refers to the zones of arousal that a traumatized individual functions. The more hyperarousal or hypoarousal the individual experiences the smaller or more narrow the window of tolerance. Regulation and resiliency skills widen the window allowing a greater level of functioning to occur. The term was coined by Dr. Dan Siegel, from UCLA Attachment Research Center. …...

The Window of Tolerance refers to the zones of arousal that a traumatized individual functions. The more hyperarousal or hypoarousal the individual experiences the smaller or more narrow the window…

In life I have been through a lot of rough terrains, I’ve been in terrifying storms and had defending situations that ev...
05/05/2024

In life I have been through a lot of rough terrains, I’ve been in terrifying storms and had defending situations that eventually I walked out of. A couple realities have shown up for me: 1. In life, you need to be brave, being brave means not running away from your feelings, and noticing yourself within your thoughts. 2. Acceptance is crucial for our personal growth....

In life I have been through a lot of rough terrains, I’ve been in terrifying storms and had defending situations that eventually I walked out of. A couple realities have shown up for me: 1. In life…

Life is hard and at times it really sucks, life has been overwhelming down right cruel at times. There were times I had ...
05/03/2024

Life is hard and at times it really sucks, life has been overwhelming down right cruel at times. There were times I had no idea where I was going to put the next step, times that I failed to get out of bed, just because I was thrilled with so much anxiety, I wasn’t able to move. I recognize now, that all that suffering and all the time I spent barely surviving, was just preparing me....

Life is hard and at times it really sucks, life has been overwhelming down right cruel at times. There were times I had no idea where I was going to put the next step, times that I failed to get ou…

April 28th 2024, my husband and I just got back from a wonderful trip to Guadalajara, Mexico, to visit my parents over t...
04/30/2024

April 28th 2024, my husband and I just got back from a wonderful trip to Guadalajara, Mexico, to visit my parents over the weekend. What prompted this trip, was an entire event all on its own, that happened on March 15th; during a long weekend filled with miracles in our family, I got motivated to write an email to my parents, where I described how I had recently realized that they had truly done the best they knew how to, as parents, and as wrong as they may had been at times, they had only learned to be parents, from their own experience as kids and how their own families had treated them....

April 28th 2024, my husband and I just got back from a wonderful trip to Guadalajara, Mexico, to visit my parents over the weekend. What prompted this trip, was an entire event all on its own, that…

Somatic Experience was developed by Dr. Peter A Levine, as he realized that the body is the one that carries all the pen...
04/26/2024

Somatic Experience was developed by Dr. Peter A Levine, as he realized that the body is the one that carries all the pent-up energy, released by the body, when we face a situation that threatens our lives. While listening to an interview with Peter A Levine, where he explains how he came across somatic experiencing, I realized how many things that I suffer from, have been prompted by trauma energy being held in my body....

Somatic Experience was developed by Dr. Peter A Levine, as he realized that the body is the one that carries all the pent-up energy, released by the body, when we face a situation that threatens ou…

This post I believe, will ever be changing, because not only do I read or listen to a lot of books, I have a true connec...
04/25/2024

This post I believe, will ever be changing, because not only do I read or listen to a lot of books, I have a true connection to these quotes, and they produce a positive feeling in me, when I read them. This particular quote, by the creator of SE (somatic experiencing), Peter A Levine; is very deep for me, because for the longest time, I believed I was broken, I believed there was no way I could ever be better than what I was at that time....

This post I believe, will ever be changing, because not only do I read or listen to a lot of books, I have a true connection to these quotes, and they produce a positive feeling in me, when I read …

You know, sometimes I just need to remember that everything can be changed, if I change the lyrics in my mind. You see, ...
04/21/2024

You know, sometimes I just need to remember that everything can be changed, if I change the lyrics in my mind. You see, I’m not just an over thinker, oh no!,I have a great ability to create havoc in my mind. Whenever the stars align, and the wind is blowing in the right direction, and the birds are singing that song that just hits home, I am able to realize how much my thoughts matter, to get a different outcome....

You know, sometimes I just need to remember that everything can be changed, if I change the lyrics in my mind. You see, I’m not just an over thinker, oh no!,I have a great ability to create havoc i…

I have decided to write this today, because amongst all the bad turns, wrong doors, and missed steps I’ve had, there’s a...
04/17/2024

I have decided to write this today, because amongst all the bad turns, wrong doors, and missed steps I’ve had, there’s a lot of good. The reason why I’ve become so passionate about these topics, is not just because of my experience with CPTSD, but it’s more because I believe that if I have been able to progress and change my ways, for a more positive and happy life; I don’t see why everyone who suffers from some kind of PTSD, couldn’t, therefore making this generation, a generation of positive change around the world....

I have decided to write this today, because amongst all the bad turns, wrong doors, and missed steps I’ve had, there’s a lot of good. The reason why I’ve become so passionate about these topics, is…

I thought I was stupid. From the time I was 6 or 7, until about when I was 12 or 13, I thought I was the stupidest kid i...
04/17/2024

I thought I was stupid. From the time I was 6 or 7, until about when I was 12 or 13, I thought I was the stupidest kid in town, and my lack of intelligence, was just who I was and who I was going to be for the rest of my life. But, by reading a few books, such as: The Body Keeps the Score, The boy that was raised like a dog, The deepest well, amongst a few others, I have learned that not only does your childhood interrupt your emotional development, but it also modifies how your brain is developed, and the areas that it focuses on developing first....

I thought I was stupid. From the time I was 6 or 7, until about when I was 12 or 13, I thought I was the stupidest kid in town, and my lack of intelligence, was just who I was and who I was going t…

My triggers I'm going to try to list as many as I can, but this post will be under constant upgrade, since I only recogn...
04/15/2024

My triggers I'm going to try to list as many as I can, but this post will be under constant upgrade, since I only recognize a few of my triggers, when I know that there may be a lot more right underneath the surface of my consciousness. One of the most important tools in my recovery kit, is getting to know my triggers, and be aware of how they show up, what they make me feel, and how I can help not avoid them, but how I can better asses situations so that I’m not negatively impacted by reacting in a way I will regret in the future....

My triggers I’m going to try to list as many as I can, but this post will be under constant upgrade, since I only recognize a few of my triggers, when I know that there may be a lot more righ…

I had no idea I suffered from so much anxiety; I was raised with the expectation I had to be strong and independent, nev...
04/15/2024

I had no idea I suffered from so much anxiety; I was raised with the expectation I had to be strong and independent, never to share my feelings with anyone, and specially, never to be so weak as to have emotions like anxiety, this was something that only weak people could feel. Did you know, that over 6 million people have General Anxiety Disorder....

I had no idea I suffered from so much anxiety; I was raised with the expectation I had to be strong and independent, never to share my feelings with anyone, and specially, never to be so weak as to…

According to Dr. Robert Block, president of the American Academy of Pediatrics; "Adverse childhood experiences are the s...
04/14/2024

According to Dr. Robert Block, president of the American Academy of Pediatrics; "Adverse childhood experiences are the single, greatest unaddressed public health threat facing our nation today." According to a study performed by the CDC and Kaiser Permanente of 17,000 adults, with chronic physical and mental health issues; 11% of people reported having been emotional abused as a child, 30% reported physical abuse, 20% sexual abuse, 24% reported being exposed to family alcohol abuse, 19% had been exposed to someone with mental illness in the family, 13% witnessed one of their parents getting battered, and 5% reported family drug abuse....

According to Dr. Robert Block, president of the American Academy of Pediatrics; “Adverse childhood experiences are the single, greatest unaddressed public health threat facing our nation toda…

I'm a 37 year old woman, but for the most part, I have had a hard time feeling my age. This may be normal for everyone, ...
04/14/2024

I'm a 37 year old woman, but for the most part, I have had a hard time feeling my age. This may be normal for everyone, but sometimes I feel like a teenager, sometimes I feel even younger, and sometimes I just don't know, but I know that I don't feel 37. Looking back at the last couple years of my life, I have been going to therapy, once per week, I have read about 80 books on childhood trauma, and have participated in a childhood trauma specialized group intensive....

I’m a 37 year old woman, but for the most part, I have had a hard time feeling my age. This may be normal for everyone, but sometimes I feel like a teenager, sometimes I feel even younger, an…

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