01/22/2026
Good coaching creates independence. Not dependence.
Got an email from a client yesterday that perfectly captured something that's been bothering me about this industry for years.
β
He wrote about a program he tried years back. Lost weight. Saw results. Everything was working.
β
They sold him prepackaged meals - 4/5ths of his daily food. Nice and easy to execute.
β
But then he started asking: "How do I do this independently and sustainably?"
And the coach couldn't answer.
β
π€·ββοΈ I guess just keep buying their stuff, focus on the weight you're losing, commit to this strategy 100%.
β
Even though he was literally telling them it wasn't sustainable for him long-term.
β
So he quit.
β
And honestly? Good.
β
Because what's the point of results you can't maintain the second you stop paying someone?
β
Most coaches are taught to create dependence, not independence.
β
(Also, saying this probably makes me sound like a π and I'm sh****ng on other coaches. But it's true.)
β
But often this is the business model. Keep people buying. Keep people needing you. Keep people coming back.
β
Selling solutions is easier than teaching skills.
β
Giving someone a meal plan is faster than teaching them how to build their own.
β
Telling people what to do creates less friction than helping them figure out what actually works for their life.
β
But that's not coaching.
β
Here's what actual coaching looks like:
β
β Skills you can use forever, not just while you're paying me
β
β Habits that fit YOUR life, not some bu****it fantasy where you meal prep for 3 hours every Sunday
β
β Routines you can actually maintain when life gets messy, not just when conditions are perfect
β
β Structure that doesn't collapse the second your kid gets sick or work gets crazy
β
I build F with my clients..
β
Ya'll better chill right now. F stands for foundations.
(Foundations, Acceleration, Sustainability, Transformation = F.A.S.T results)
β
Like a strong house. Like an emergency fund. Like the boring s**t that actually holds up when everything else falls apart.
β
Takes longer than "lose 20 pounds in 30 days eating our food."
β
But you know what?
β
The client who sent me that email? He's been working with me for months now.
β
Still here.
Still learning.
Still building the capacity to do this independently.
Still getting results
β
Because the goal isn't for him to need me forever.
β
The goal is for him to not need me at all.
β
If your coach can't teach you how to do it yourself - if they can't answer the question "how do I do this independently and sustainably?" - they're not coaching you.
β
They're selling you.
β
Which is fine. As long as you're ok with the tradeoff.
β
But most people aren't. They just don't realize there's another option.
β
Now you do.
β
Have you been in a program where you felt like they needed you dependent? Or worked with someone who actually taught you independence? Would love to hear about it in the comments.