02/06/2026
Sometimes I think about my brother Erik and feel a pain in my heart. His life was cut short by the unfortunate disposition of his untreated conditions. He lived a misunderstood life; he suffered from societal conditioning & never received the care he needed early on. My brother was on the spectrum and back then we didn't recognize that well enough to diagnose it or treat it unless it was a more severe case of autism such as the nonverbal or outburst/violent behavioral versions...
He was a quiet, introverted, but very smart and creative kid- a kid that never really 'grew up' because he lacked the ability to learn social cues and differentiate feelings from facts. He wasn't incapable of that but just needed a safe space to think. Unfortunately, my family was highly dysfunctional and our home was never safe, rarely calm, and disturbingly toxic.
He suffered from depression and later substance abuse. He eventually developed violent tendencies and once tried to kill me. Being his sibling was often scary and very difficult. But I knew he was different and that it wasn't his real intention to be like that. I may have been the only one in our family who truly recognized this- and in the end I was the only one he would even speak to. So when he passed, it hit me in a way that was really tough to process while holding space for all the folx who knew him but had long since given up trying to understand or help him.
My brother survived aggressive cancers and was in treatment for that on and off several years. Since he struggled to work due to his mental condition, he relied on Medicaid & Medicare for his treatment and medication. In 2021 he was prescribed heart medication and never filled his prescription. He passed away in 2022. He was very sick and didn't seek help because he was afraid of the cost. He died alone in his apartment and his body was found days later during a wellness check.
So, when someone tries to tell me they're ok with these life saving programs being cut, or that we should allow insane unqualified people like RFK Jr to wreak even further havoc on an already broken healthcare system - I just say F**K YOU.
