Whole Self Therapy

09/04/2025

I'm thrilled to be featured in this month's (Psychotherapy Networker) magazine 🥰

In this September/October edition, I recommend the movie Into the Wild -- the true story of Christopher McCandless, a college graduate who stops communicating with his family, donates his money to an organization dedicated to alleviating global poverty, and divests himself of all material possessions other than a rifle, some rice, and a few books.

Having dealt with major betrayals by his parents and harboring a deep belief that “people are bad to each other,” he’s eager to opt out of the post-college expectations people have placed on him and hit the open road in search of freedom, truth, and connection with nature.

It's a powerful story about a young man who feels a profound connection with nature and who is also dealing with the existential dilemma of human relationships.

McCandless, someone who likely had an avoidant attachment style, goes it alone and lives off the grid in Alaska and reaches an important realization on his quest:

"Happiness only real when shared."

Needless to say, I highly recommend you check it out!

Read the full review here: https://www.psychotherapynetworker.org/.../4-top.../

12/20/2024

I'm so excited to offer this *in-person* group in the new year!

- Are you a people-pleaser?
- Are you preoccupied with what others might think, feel, or want?
- Do you have a hard time receiving from others?
- Do you tend to feel selfish or guilty for pursuing what you want?
- Is resentment something you often feel?

Come join us in the new year to connect, learn, and grow.

$50 per group. Starts in February.

https://wholeselftherapy.com/therapeutic-groups/

08/30/2024

Fall is a time to turn your attention inward. Let's Awaken Your Authentic Self. ✨

It’s time to shift your gaze from always looking around and seeing how everyone else is doing and feeling. It’s time to take a peek inside, at the wonder of you.

This October, join me and a group of women on a path of healing and wholeness.

In this five-week online course, I’ll be teaching you about the psychology of people-pleasing. We’ll look at how early experiences have contributed to your self-sacrificing habit. And we'll check out the beliefs and behaviors that are maintaining it.

Most importantly, we’ll explore the different parts of YOU. I’ll be leading you to explore and integrate four key archetypes of every self-sacrificing woman:

🦋 The Inner Girl Child
🖤 The Inner Critic
💪The Rebel
🌙 The Goddess

Through using creative and spiritual therapeutic techniques you will discover a new way to relate to yourself and others.

Awaken Your Authentic Self will include:
- the psychology of people-pleasing
- archetypes/parts work
- meditation
- guided imagery/visualization
- self-compassion practices
- writing
- sharing, conversation, and connection with other women

DM me or go to rachaelchatham.com to reserve your sacred space today. 💫

A course for women on a path of personal growth, and self-discovery who are ready to live their best lives. Stop people-pleasing and start living authentically.

06/09/2024

This is a particularly painful life situation. 💔

03/13/2024

Caring about people other than yourself is not a problem. 🪷

The problem is when you care for other people **instead** of caring about yourself.

When this habit/pattern/trauma response gets established in childhood, it can last your whole life.

And it can prevent you from developing a real sense of self-awareness and self-identity.

It can cost you a clear sense of WHO YOU ARE.

And **this** is the problem. And a pretty huge problem, at that.

03/10/2024

Ok, so you've come to realize that you're caught in a loop of always trying to please others and it's hurting you... then what?? 🤔

Changing a way of life that is:
1. culturally endorsed
2. a result of relational trauma (including narcissistic abuse)
3. part of the legacy of being a woman
.. is no easy task. But it is do-able, and if there's anyone who can meet a challenge with both strength and heart, it's you.

Learning to pivot away from the pattern of self-sacrifice is step one toward:

1. setting healthy boundaries
2. developing self-compassion
3. knowing, liking, and trusting your Self

Are you ready to pivot??

01/10/2024

How do you use your time in therapy wisely to ensure that you are, indeed, getting what you want out of it? 🤓

Here are some of the best ways to use your therapy session:

Collaborate with your therapist:
Let your therapist explore, with you, whatever you are bringing in to talk about. That’s why you’re paying them. They’re knowledgeable and want to help you get your mental health and wellness needs met. If you notice that, during your sessions, you’re aimlessly rambling or monopolizing the conversation, name that “noticing” with your therapist so that you can look at that pattern and any function it may be serving for you together. You know, collaboratively.

Be intentional with your therapy sessions:
Come into your sessions with some sense of what you want to address. It could be that you have a goal in mind for that day such as “I want to figure out how to respond when X happens” or “I need to talk about X thing that happened today.” You don’t have to have the specific outcome in mind, but it’s often helpful to have some sense of your own needs. (As a sidebar: knowing what you need is a huge step toward healing.)

Bring in your triggers:
Especially as a Schema Therapist, I am particularly interested in what your triggers are and where they “go off” when you’re moving through the world. Starting a session by letting your therapist know where you got triggered over the previous week gives you the rest of your therapy hour to explore it. Hurray!

Read the rest here: https://wholeselftherapy.com/2024/01/09/the-best-ways-to-use-your-therapy-session/

12/11/2023

Are you a therapist seeking out therapy for yourself? I love supporting other therapists as they work on their own "stuff!"

Are you a therapist looking to do some of your own work? Enlist a seasoned therapist's therapist who can provide support and direction.

12/07/2023

sometimes people come into therapy seeking closure. and it can be really hard to get closure sometimes, especially when the other person isn't available, willing, or able to provide a space to consciously close together.

here is another idea about finding closure. what do you think?

11/24/2023

My latest newsletter is now available ✨ The Holidays are Upon Us! - https://mailchi.mp/508c2da15f36/the-holidays-are-upon-us

06/29/2023

New blogpost alert: Are you a Self-Sacrificing People Pleaser?

Are you a Self-Sacrificing People-Pleaser? Do you tend to set your desires aside to keep other people comfortable? I bet you do.

05/04/2023