a place for grief

08/20/2024

Something nobody wants to think about, but definitely should.

07/16/2024

Thoughtful presentation…

Cultivating a relationship with death and moving towards acceptance of it as a natural part of life is a profound and personal journey. Here you are invited ...

08/30/2023

Love came first.

Today, August 30th, is National Grief Awareness Day…

Why do I write so much about grief?
Because, like love, grief is the one thing we will all know in this life.
We will all grieve, we probably are all grieving in some way, right now.
To love is to grieve. To live is to lose.
And yet there is still stigma and silence around those ‘stuck’ in their new world of grief.
We usher and rush them along to join back in with the rat-race of life.

But they do not need reminders of their struggling, they already know.

They need to hear others talking about grief, see others sharing their stories and feel safe to grieve wherever they are.

They need more light on the darkest areas of this life, we all do.

To love is to grieve, to live is to lose, so let’s stop whispering and shunning those in pain and start asking the questions and mentioning lost loved ones names without ‘fear’ of the reaction.

They can’t hurt more. That is already happening.

But they can hurt less, and time is not the sole healer we think it to be.

Time creates a capacity to process and accept yes… but it’s the talking that heals, the sharing that strengthens and the ‘using love as the lead’, that lets joy come back on in…

And that’s why I have chosen this piece today… love came first.

From ‘Wild Hope’ 🩶

UK: https://amzn.eu/d/eDGFsCs
US: https://a.co/d/h6FEaTv

08/01/2023

Yes.

WHEN YOU SAY GOODBYE TO A PARENT
You are suddenly living in a whole new world.

You are no longer ‘the child’ and regardless of how long you have officially been ‘grown up’ for, you realise you actually never were until this moment. The shock of this adjustment will shake your very core.

When you have finally said goodbye to both your parents, assuming you were lucky enough to have had two. You are an orphan on this earth and that never, ever gets easier to take no matter how old and grey you are yourself and no matter how many children of your own you have.

You see, a part of your body is physically connected to the people that made it and also a part of your soul. When they no longer live, it is as if you are missing something practical that you need – like a finger or an arm. Because really, you are. You are missing your parent and that is something far more necessary than any limb.

And yet the connection is so strong it carries on somehow, no-one knows how exactly. But they are there. In some way, shape or form they are still guiding you if you listen closely enough. You can hear the words they would choose to say to you.

You can feel the warmth of their approval, their smile when a goal is achieved, their all-consuming love filling the air around you when a baby is born they haven’t met.

If you watch your children very closely you will see that they too have a connection with your parents long after they are gone. They will say things that resonate with you because it brings so many memories of the parent you are missing. They will carry on traits, thoughts and sometimes they will even see them in their dreams.

This is not something we can explain.

Love is a very mystical and wondrous entity.

It is far better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all and grief, grief is the price of that love. The deeper the love the stronger the grief.

When you say goodbye to a parent, do not forget to connect with that little girl who still lives inside you somewhere.

Take very good care of her, for she, she will be alone and scared.

When you say goodbye to your parents, you lose an identity, a place in the world. When the people who put you on this earth are no longer here, it changes everything.

Look after yourself the way they looked after you and listen out for them when you need it the most.

They never really leave.

Donna Ashworth
From my poetry collection
To The Women: words to live by
UK: https://amzn.eu/d/i8Xpzmu
US: https://a.co/d/2FaN5Ey

06/15/2023

Man's main concern is not to gain pleasure or to avoid pain but rather to see a meaning in his life. That is why man is even ready to suffer, on the condition, to be sure, that his suffering has a meaning. ~Viktor Frankl

(Book: Man's Search for Meaning https://amzn.to/3P9P6bf)

(Art: 'Nighthawks' [detail], by Edward Hopper)

06/08/2023

“I know that I have less to live than I have lived.
I feel like a child who was given a box of chocolates. He enjoys eating it, and when he sees that there is not much left, he starts to eat them with a special taste.

I have no time for endless lectures on public laws - nothing will change. And there is no desire to argue with fools who do not act according to their age. And there's no time to battle the gray. I don't attend meetings where egos are inflated and I can't stand manipulators.

I am disturbed by envious people who try to vilify the most capable to grab their positions, talents and achievements.

I have too little time to discuss headlines - my soul is in a hurry.
Too few candies left in the box.

I'm interested in human people. People who laugh at their mistakes are those who are successful, who understand their calling and don't hide from responsibility. Who defends human dignity and wants to be on the side of truth, justice, righteousness. This is what living is for.
I want to surround myself with people who know how to touch the hearts of others. Who, through the blows of fate, was able to rise and maintain the softness of the soul.

Yes, I hustle, I hustle to live with the intensity that only maturity can give. I'll eat all the candy I have left - they'll taste better than the ones I already ate.

My goal is to reach the end in harmony with myself, my loved ones and my conscience.
I thought I had two lives, but it turned out to be only one, and it needs to be lived with dignity.”

Brilliant Anthony Hopkins
and free interpretation of Mario de Andrade’s poem

05/30/2023

Though people often as, how do I heal from grief, this is the wrong question. You don't need to heal your grief. Grief is the healing.

04/20/2023

Understanding neuroscience to help manage the pain of loss.

02/04/2023

The dead are not distant or absent. They are alongside us. When we lose someone to death, we lose their physical image and presence, they slip out of visible form into invisible presence. This alteration of form is the reason we cannot see the dead. But because we cannot see them does not mean that they are not there. Transfigured into eternal form, the dead cannot reverse the journey and even for one second re-enter their old form to linger with us a while. Though they cannot reappear, they continue to be near us and part of the healing of grief is the refinement of our hearts whereby we come to sense their loving nearness. When we ourselves enter the eternal world and come to see our lives on earth in full view, we may be surprised at the immense assistance and support with which our departed loved ones have accompanied every moment of our lives. In their new, transfigured presence their compassion, understanding and love take on a divine depth, enabling them to become secret angels guiding and sheltering the unfolding of our destiny.

JOHN O'DONOHUE

Excerpt from his books, Beauty: The Invisible Embrace (US) / Divine Beauty (Europe)
Ordering Info: https://johnodonohue.com/store

Photo: © Ann Cahill

01/11/2023

Making space for the truth of our feelings is essential for keeping the heart healthy and finding a wise response in this complex world.

12/13/2022

Last month, we asked our audience to tell us how they stay connected to their late loved ones. They tell us about the objects they keep, the altars they built and how they pay their respects.