Asheville Mind & Body

05/18/2023

It's been quite a while since I've shared info here! I thought this NPR segment on parenting was very thought-provoking. What do you think??

It may sound counterintuitive, but if you want to take charge as a parent, stop trying to control your child, says psychologist and author Shefali Tsabary. Her new book, "The Parenting Map," lays out a step-by-step guide for creating conscious parent-child relationships.

12/17/2021

I find myself talking to SO many clients about breaking the cycle of rumination, or repetitive thoughts. This feels relevant and hopefully helpful to share:

When you're ruminating, you need to interrupt the process. Here's how.

05/05/2021

So many of us are "languishing" right now...you are not alone. Seeking the light at the end of the tunnel can be helpful as we all move forward.

Psychologist Adam Grant calls languishing "the neglected middle child of mental health" in his recent New York Times op-ed.

05/03/2021

So much of my work with women involves self-esteem around appearance. This is an important post highlighting the fact that the naked eye sees things differently than a camera lens. Camera lenses distort faces and bodies depending on equipment used. Please read and share!!

I recently did a photoshoot with to get a few new shots for my website. He was geeking out about the the difference in how things look depending on the focal length of the lens, which I found interesting due to how many of my clients experience photos to be one of THE MOST INTENSE body image triggers.

To demonstrate, he took these two photos of my face, and explained how a wide angle lens leads to distortions, which makes faces look kinda weird (L) but also makes bodies look thinner so photographers will sometimes use it to get “more flattering” body shots.

A telephoto lens on the other hand leads to compression, which makes faces look more or less “normal” (R) but has a widening effect which can make bodies look bigger, wider, or fatter. (Notice how much thinner my neck is on the left than on the right? Also I have no ears on the left.)

I found this all fascinating.

Essentially, photos aren’t a perfect representation of how we look, and there are dramatic differences in how we’ll appear depending on the equipment being used.

And yet, so many clients have been triggered by a photo, either hating how it looks (ie: “my arms look huge” or “I look so wide”) or expressing confusion (ie: “I think I looked one way and then I saw a photo and now I feel like I have no idea how I actually look”).

Photos have a way of triggering body hatred and for this exact reason: it shows a different image than our eyes see, and calls into question your own perception of how you look.

Maybe you think you look ok, then you see an “unflattering” photo and realize you were wrong. When we can’t trust our own perceptions, we often dive into obsessive body checking/ministering to figure out the truth. Am I actually fat/big/wide, or no? Am I pretty or do I look weird? Am I ok?

But photos are NOT objective facts, and they don’t capture you the way other people will actually see you.

For example, no matter the angle, my face will never look exactly like *either* of these two photos to the naked human eye.

Did you know this? Have you seen this?

And more importantly, what has your relationship been between body image and photos?

03/30/2021

03/24/2021

I work with many women who struggle with romantic relationships, and we always end up discussing attachment style. Read this article to gain some understanding on how your attachment style may be in conflict with that of your prospective significant others', and how that might manifest into long-term difficulty finding a compatible partner.

Are you an avoidant, anxious, or secure attacher?

02/03/2021

It's no secret that kids are struggling now more than ever. Sometimes that even looks like suicidal ideation. Here are some very practical steps to help parents manage intense emotions in a loving, non-reactive way.

If a young person says they want to end their life, how do you help? First, don't panic. Su***de is preventable. Here's advice for helping young people in crisis, from people who've lived through it.

10/16/2020

Client referrals are at an all-time high. You aren't alone. We are 8 months into this pandemic, topped with racial unrest and the most divisive social discourse in US history. Chronic stress leads to physical ailments, so it's more important than ever to care for ourselves.

Reports are on the rise of symptoms such as headaches, stomach problems and flare-ups of autoimmune disorders. Here's why chronic stress can make our bodies hurt, and what to do about it.

10/11/2020

I am seeing and hearing more and more about "meltdowns" from my clients - and, truthfully, experiencing what I might call "micro meltdowns" myself. This is great info on accepting, working through, and moving forward from a meltdown. It's ok to not be ok, just try not to stay there for too long. ❤️

09/10/2020

The teens I work with are definitely suffering during this unusual time. Their need for socialization is real, and having that cut off abruptly is taking its toll. If you're worried about your teenager, check out this article from NPR. As a therapist offering telehealth, I can say that even that session with a kid flopped on her bed talking to me through a screen is an effective support mechanism to help get through these tough times.

Anxiety and depression among teens and youth are getting worse since COVID lockdowns began in March, early studies suggest, and many experts say they fear a corresponding increase in su***de.

08/03/2020

I SO enjoy working with my 20-somethings in my practice. They are on the cusp of becoming who they want to be, and are working so hard to figure out so much. This article really resonated with me, and I plan to purchase her book for my lending library. Forward, lovelies. You got this.

There's often a lot of pressure put on a person's 20s. Stay career focused? Or make it a time of exploration? In this episode, Elizabeth Segran talks about her book, The Rocket Years: How Your Twenties Launch the Rest of Your Life. She offers advice for anyone who wants to be more intentional about....