Christian Psychotherapy Resources, Inc.

08/27/2025

Your Words Matter
“In a minute…”, “I’ll be right there…”, “Soon. We’ll get together soon.” How many times have you said these things…today? As you’ve heard before, the road to crises is paved with good intentions. Your words matter. Be clear. Mean what you say. Follow through. Clarity of communication is the hallmark of good relationships. When you are not clear with others, you risk triggering anxiety, depression, or at least increased stress. Don’t do that ☹
Monique, a recent college graduate who was reluctantly embracing the dating scene after work, eagerly looked at the messages on her phone. “Cory seems nice. He said he’d give me a call,” she thought as she scrolled down her messages. “Nope. Nothing from Cory. The jerk,” she clicked her phone off, regretting having struck up a conversation with him at work in the first place.
A daily experience for some people, trying to get a foothold on their young adult life. Monique set herself up for disappointment by taking Cory’s words seriously in the first place. To her, his “let’s get together. I’ll call you later” was a date. To Cory, it may have been just a pick-up line. She’s left waiting, not knowing, perhaps missing out on other opportunities because of Cory’s nonspecific words of encouragement that he would follow through.
When people are on the receiving end of speculative words, often they take them seriously, as a commitment or even a verbal contract. “He said he would get back to me, so he will.” So, Monique is left waiting. The longer she waits, the more likely she will personalize the circumstances.
“What’s wrong with me. He’s so cute, waaay out of my league. I’m such a loser. (sigh) Just alone for life. “Maybe he’s blowing me off because he doesn’t like me. I’m such an idiot.” She then likely turns to what I call the woulda-coulda-shouldas, followed by a chorus of if-only’s. Your words matter, both to others and the words you apply to yourself.
In my 43 years of clinical practice, and now in my new book, The Healing Journey: Overcoming Adversity on the Path to the Good Life (Amazon, 2024), I introduce a new treatment strategy, mentalligent psychotherapy (MPT). Here, I interweave the therapy techniques of mindfulness, positive psychology, and cognitive behavioral interventions. For Monique, several rational beliefs come to mind.
First, when you encounter something off-putting from another just let it slide. You want to expect the positive and build on what you’ve got. Remember, though, once is an anomaly, but twice is a pattern. If the off-putting recurs, confront gently. Say your piece to set the other straight. Setting healthy boundaries puts any relationship on even footing. If the pattern continues, sayonara. Go on to develop other better friendships.
Second, about both your self-talk and what others say to you, stop assuming. A cute little memory device I use is to spell out the word “assume.” When you assume, you make an ass out of you and me (ass-u-me). Rather, consider input to be data for you. Check out any assumptions and move toward facts.
Finally, true to cognitive behavioral therapy, avoid extreme words in your descriptions. Always, only, ever, never routinely generate problems, not solutions. For more, go to amazonbooks.com at https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0CY9PQXMZ.
Blessings,
Jon

08/26/2025

08/03/2025

We all are who we are. But who is that? Many components over our lifetime make us who we are. The parts we like? We embrace. The parts we don't like? We can do something to change them. To look at how we form our personal identity, check out the following. For more, go to https://www.amazon.com/dp/B...

07/26/2025

Is Dieting Ever Fun?
Nope. Not ever. But is dieting worth it? Yep. But only if you stick with it and lose to your goal weight. While dieting can get you to your goal weight, weight management will keep you there. That’s the rub.
Pattie was a 28-year-old, married woman with a 5-year-old daughter, Amanda, and husband of ten years, Alex. During her first therapy appointment with me, after pleasantries and settling in, I asked, “How can I help?”
She came to me for tools to help her overcome her resurging anxiety and depression by not keeping her weight off. She had gained over 100 lbs. during her pregnancy with Amanda and had yo-yo’ed her weight loss, still 30 lbs. from her pre-pregnancy weight.
“After a horrible childhood, I finally put it all together my senior year in high school, found and married Alex after graduation, and vowed never to be Fatty Patty ever again. And yet, look at me now,” she sighed.
Pattie recalled for me a childhood of being bullied and body-shamed for her flabby shape. Both of her folks are big b***d and overweight. However, Pattie was small and a petite build, taking after her maternal grandmother. She had been in and out of therapy for years, with a modicum of success, losing weight and feeling better about herself. Before her senior year in high school, her folks “sent me to fat camp for two months.”
Pattie shared with me how bitter and resentful she felt for being singled out by her folks, “of all people, but that summer changed my life.” She beamed about how she developed healthy food, exercise, and lifestyle choices during her summer camp experience. She got to her goal weight and kept it, until she got pregnant. “How could I be there for me when I was growing new life inside me?”
After developing therapeutic rapport with Pattie over three appointments and having her fill out the Multimoldal Life History Questionnaire to help me understand her better and develop a realistic treatment plan, I shared with Pattie a weight management program I had developed and used successfully with patients over many years of clinical practice.
“Okay, Pattie, so to review, I can help you lose the 30 lbs. to your goal weight by following my weight management protocol. Remember, the protocol works best within your sticking to a Mediterranean Diet and working out or walking 3 times per week. To stay on track to lose weight, follow these guidelines:
1. Use water as your only beverage. Nothing else. It’s the only beverage with no calories.
2. Avoid what I call the 3 S’s, that is,
a. No snacks
b. No seconds, and
c. No scraps.
3. No food intake after your evening meal, between 6PM and 7PM
until breakfast.
After following my weight management protocol and weekly therapy for 3 months, Pattie reached her goal weight, began balancing her self-care with other care, was less anxious and noticeably happier and more pleased with herself.
In my new book, The Healing Journey: Overcoming Adversity on the Path to the Good Life (https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0CY9PQXMZ), I introduce Mentalligent Psychotherapy (MPT) and share several treatment protocols that help you soar through adversity and develop a positive perspective on your life circumstances. Check it out. Blessings, Dr. Jon

07/23/2025

Dieting is never fun. It seems like forever to lose to your goal weight. Once there, though, the reward in confidence, self-image, mood, and assurance is fantastic! Pattie needed to lose the final 30 lbs. to reach her pre-pregnancy weight. See how she got there. She's a whole new person. I have more...

07/09/2025

Vigilant parents are mindful of activities and objects that may be harmful to their child. Check out this resource for keeping your child safe.

Are You Keeping Your Child Safe?
All parents want to keep their children safe. It’s essential to do what we do as parents and give them the opportunity to grow up to be independent, responsible, community-minded adults. We try to be diligent in keeping our children from being in danger.
Mandy was quickly getting the dishes done while 2-year-old Allison was toddling around the kitchen. Allison had found the pans in an open cabinet and loved to bang them together. Mandy laughed at her and kept her eye on her to make sure her darling didn’t find trouble.
As Mandy was drying last night’s dinner plates, she glimpsed from the corner of her eye that Allison was trying to get into the cabinet door where the cleaning supplies were kept.
“No, no, sweetie. These are not playthings,” Mandy chided, as she directed Allison’s attention elsewhere.
Latches on cabinet doors are commonplace safety measures to help keep inquiring little hands from dangerous products. Another ubiquitous safety measure is electric outlet covers to keep little fingers from getting shocked or worse. While most parents keep dangerous products out of the reach of their young children and attend to other household safety measures, the Lanier Law Firm, https://www.lanierlawfirm.com/child-product-safety/ has taken child safety practice to another level.
The Lanier Law Firm has identified a list of child product safety guidelines that all parents should read and absorb. Their identified areas of child product safety include:
Make Sure the Product Meets Child Safety Standards
1. Ensure the Product You Want for Your Kids Is Age-Appropriate
2. Examine the Child Product’s Materials and Design
3. Ensure the Product Does Not Pose an Injury Hazard for Your Kids
4. Read the Product’s Instructions and Warnings
5. Making Sure Kids Are Safe From Dangerous Products

Due diligence on our part creates a safe environment for our children.
Mandy put up the last of the dishes, dried her hands on the towel, and turned to her baby girl.
“Okay, Allison, I’m all yours,” she soothed as she reached for her toddler.
“Yay!!!,” Allison glowed, as she clapped her hands together. Snuggled in her mama’s loving arms, they went to her playroom and settled into playing with her dolls.
Keep your children safe and savor the fun times. They grow up too soon.
Blessings,
Jon

Keep your children safe with our child product safety checklist. Discover tips and guidelines for choosing safe products for your little ones.

07/03/2025

When summer starts and kids are out of school, kids go, "Yaaay!" Parents go, "Ugh! Groan." While there may be lots to fill the long summer hours, how about something new? This website, https://www,websiteplanet.com/blog/safest-coding-sites-for-kids/, is a great place to find some new stuff. It revie...

05/21/2025

Bad things happen to everyone. It's how we handle them that develops our character and defines our lives. Really bad things can leave emotional scars that need healing. When those scars generate flashbacks to traumatic events, that's the heart of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). Check out this...

05/07/2025

Healthy boundaries are the emotional elixir of strong relationships. When we maintain healthy boundaries, we balance self-care with other care. Feelings are not hurt. Good choices are made. Everybody is valued and all of us get along. Great! Easy to identify and talk about. Hard to put in place. Wit...

03/20/2025

In effective therapy, there are 4 stages. As you go on your healing journey, these mile markers will guide you. Check them out. Blessings, Jon

01/22/2025

Rubber bands hold the key to our healing journey and mental health. Wait. What? Think about it. Rubber bands are so unassuming until you use them. Their use comes from their ability to stretch, expand, and gather essential parts. Does that sound like personal human growth to you? Ponder the rubber b...

01/14/2025

Life is stressful. Good stress, called eustress, as well as bad stress, which we all know as distress. You can't get away from it. The best way you can deal with stress is to develop resilience. Being resilient gives you the tools to overcome any adversity and to develop healthy stress management. T...