OneLight Christian Counseling, PLLC

10/23/2024

On our recent trip to help out in the hurricane recovery efforts in western North Carolina, I met a little boy.

We were at an event for families at the Black Mountain Fire Department where we were distributing kid's books, toys and games. There were other supplies there as well as food and water, all free to the community. I was sitting at a table right by a large assortment of children's books that had been donated when the cutest little blonde boy about 7 years old walked up with his mom. He quickly zeroed in on a Llama in Pajamas book and snatched it up like it was made of gold. "Mom!!!! I had this book! This one was my favorite book!!!!" He was so excited I thought he was going to burst as he hugged the book to his chest and grinned from ear to ear. I gave him one of the string bags we had and told him the book was for him and that could fill that bag up with whatever he wanted. His mom looked down at him with tears in her eyes and said "Oh Honey! Now you can start rebuilding your library!"

At that point, I would have been just fine getting in the car and driving back home because all the driving and all the preparations and collecting the donations and rearranging schedules had all been worth it for that one moment with the little blonde headed boy who loved the Llama in Pajamas book.

So if you are the one who donated that book, just know that while you may not have realized it, you answered the prayer of one little boy in Black Mountain NC and made a cynical, old therapist cry.

Send a message to learn more

10/13/2024

Update from Fairview NC

10/10/2024

We are in Black Mountain NC today with the Black Mountain Fire Department. They are hosting a family community day and providing a hot meal to those who still find themselves without power or water. This community has been hit so hard and so many have lost so much, and yet the overall feeling is still one of hope. We asked and you guys responded in a big way!

10/06/2024

Hi everyone! I am leaving with 3 others on Thursday to head towards Swannanoa in west NC. We are asking for prayer for those affected as well as those of us going over to help. If you’d like to learn how you can support relief efforts, dm us for more information.

04/05/2024

Teal Day is almost here! Celebrated on the second Friday of April, Teal Day encourages awareness of the importance of counseling and self-care for counselors as they enlighten their clients, colleagues and the greater public of the same. Join us by donning a teal t-shirt, ribbon or accessory and posting a picture on social media. Make sure you use and tag us!

https://counseling.org/cam

04/05/2024

Radley is ready to get back into the office. I gotta say, I’ve never had a coworker who was more fun! (Or one who left more random piles of hair around the office!)

03/11/2024

When we believe that we are powerless, we cease to dream. We are rarely without options and truly powerless, we may simply not like the options available. Often that feeling of powerlessness is actually our unwillingness to make the uncomfortable choice. Don't hand your personal power off to anyone. Don't let perceived powerlessness steal your dreams.

11/20/2023

Setting boundaries and saying "no" can take work in the beginning, especially when it concerns family members. But the work is worth the true peace that results. If you can't say "no," then you can't actually say "yes." Handing your sense of personal power to another person will never create peace for you, it might give the other person peace but it is not a recipe for your peace.

11/13/2023

Setting and maintaining appropriate boundaries is the first step towards walking in peace, especially during the holiday season. Toxic people are toxic, even when they are related to us. Toxic or dysfunctional situations don't become acceptable because they involve a relative. No one else is going to respect your peace if you don't value it enough to protect it yourself.

09/20/2023

06/21/2023

Everyone likes a good story, right? That's why we watch movies or read a good book, we are drawn to the story. So what's the story you are telling yourself in your head?
We all do it, even if we are unaware that its happening. For everything we experience, we create a story in our head to explain it and then we live out of that story and it doesn't really matter if it is actually based in truth.

For example, say I came into work yesterday and as I passed the very nice lady at the front desk I said "good morning!" But she didn't return my smile or the greeting. In fact, she looked pretty snarly. I walked into my office and sat down and thought "I wonder if she's mad at me. Why in the world would she be upset with me?!" Then being the overthinking champion that I am, I remember that the day before I took her food out of the microwave. "But she wasn't in there!" I tell myself. "There were others waiting to use it and she went off and left it there! What did she expect us to do?!" As the day goes on, I push my ire to the back of mind and go about my business, honestly, I'm not even really thinking about it anymore. But then I go to leave for the day and as I'm walking out the very nice lady at the front desk says "bye! have a good evening!" For reasons I can't even completely remember in the moment, I'm irritated by her words. I throw a half-hearted smile her way and keep walking leaving her to be the one who is now confused.
So what's my point? What I couldn't know is that the very nice lady at the front desk had been in an argument with her husband on the way to work that morning. She had come in frustrated, distracted and upset by it and had never even heard my good morning greeting.
None of that matter because I unknowingly created a narrative in my head that said she was upset with me for some petty reason, that she was being unreasonable and childish and then I lived out of that story in my head.
I realize this is a simplistic and maybe slightly extreme example (which did not actually happen as the lady at the front desk really is a very nice lady and I would actually just go and talk to her if something like this happened! lol) but we all do the exact same thing in our lives. We go through an experience like a break-up or a dispute with a loved one or we are laid-off at our job and we create a narrative in our head to explain it. We unknowingly create the narrative that it is all our fault, or that we are being targeted unjustly or that we really are as useless as someone once told us we were. We forget that sometimes, a snippy remark from someone actually doesn't say they think we are a horrible person, it actually says that they have a terrible headache and their kids are making them crazy.
The biggest problem is that when we base our life on a lie or when we begin to live out of a lie in some area of our life, it will always bring death to our heart or to our emotional health or to our soul. John 8:44 tells us who is the father of lies and it's the same one who is looking only to steal, kill, and destroy.
So the next time you find yourself reacting to a person or situation, stop and look behind the surface reactions and see if there is a sneaky little story based in a lie hiding back there where you never knew it was living. Then challenge it with the truth and kick it out!

Just remember - Lies=death, TRUTH= LIFE!

06/21/2023

How often do we beat ourselves up because we don’t function as our little ducky friends do? Come to find out, you’re a cat! You’re not a duck! Sure, you could swim if you had to but certainly not as gracefully as a duck.

Maybe God wants you to understand that He has made you cat and that is a wonderful thing so stop trying to walk around quacking. All you’ll get is frustration, maybe a funny look or two, and feathers in your mouth.

05/02/2023

In relationships do you ever find yourself assuming you know what your spouse/friend/child wants? Do you discover that sometimes when you just know that they really really want to go to an event, a specific restaurant, or outing of some kind that they only went because they thought YOU really wanted to go?

This happens in so many different situations or anytime decisions need to be made. It can be difficult to determine just how strongly the other person feels about something. This lack of clear communication can cause conflict, misunderstanding, and hurt feelings.

One easy way to improve communication in these situations is to ask the other person to “scale it” for you. On a scale of 1-10 with 10 being “if I don’t do/have this then I may die,” have them put a number on how they are feeling. Then you can scale it for them. This will allow you to easily see how close or far away you are from each other in making a choice of whatever options are being looked at.

This can be used for something as simple as how you choose to spend an afternoon together or something as intense as deciding where to live or if you want to add another child to your family. The principle is the same regardless of the specific issue. It’s all about clear communication.

Clear communication is essential to a healthy, thriving relationship. Assumption or choosing to not let your needs/desires known can breed discontentment and eventually resentment. These are poisonous to a relationship whether it’s romantic, friendship, or business.

So, 1-10, how helpful does the idea of scaling it sound to you?? 😉

08/12/2022

https://fb.watch/eSvNpZLVco/
Go ahead and do it, you know you want to!!

08/11/2022

Establishing a pattern of caring for yourself, mentally, physically, and spiritually is a wonderful way to ensure you get the most out of your life. Back to school is a great time to slide therapy into your schedule. As your student is spending time growing and learning, so can you!

Reach out today and let me help you graduate into everything you are capable of being!

08/10/2022

Starting therapy can be a scary prospect, there is all of that being open and sharing thoughts, feelings, and beliefs stuff! It can be intimidating! But wouldn't it be worth doing the work to uncover the person you were created to be and build the life you have always wanted?
The things worth having are the things worth working for and that journey is made a little easier with someone walking that road with you.
Reach out and get started down that path, I can help you find the map, chart your course and navigate through the undiscovered parts of your own heart.