New Living Counseling

12/10/2025

12/06/2025

Quite often the inner experience that occurs during these reminders is experienced unconsciously or below one's level of conscious awareness until, of course, they are ultimately made conscious so that it may be transformed. Over time people learn to avoid these reminders associated with danger/distress; Although avoidance makes sense, however, in some situations in the long run the avoidance does not work (i.e., it may intensify the distress) and may lead people to live increasingly limited lives.
I remember one time at an intersection in Brookhaven, Atlanta, GA when I was in my car waiting for opposite traffic to clear so that my car could turn left; while waiting to turn an apparently distracted driver almost hit my car via frontal impact (honking my horn luckily alerted the driver to course correct). I remember that a few days later I remembered such event whenever I returned to that intersection and felt fear; Over repeated exposure to the intersection (it took conscious effort to not avoid it) my fear subsided.

12/02/2025

The truth is distorted due to a variety of reasons: inability to handle the truth (reminds me of Jack Nicholson’s unforgettable line in A Few Good Men), truth distortion as a rigid psychological defense to help maintain the illusion of a perfect, happy, and harmonious family, to avoid experiencing uncomfortable shame, parent idealization (sometimes serving as a psychological defense product of child-like magical thinking because, in observable adult reality, there's no such thing as a perfect parent), etc.

11/07/2025

In fact, it may argued that lack of respect, consideration, and emotional safety isn't actually love: it may be anything but love.

10/13/2025

Boundaries are most definitely not about living in the past, revenge, punishing people, and/or being a "bad" or "mean" or "uncaring" person: Absolutely NONE of that. Boundaries are about personal empowerment and clarity including, but not limited to, concretely defining and pointing abusive behavior in others that will no longer be tolerated in the present and the future (NOT the past). We can't set boundaries for past abusive behavior because of the undisputed observable reality that past events cannot be changed; However, moving forward we certainly can set boundaries.
Human abuse is anything but love: It is as simple as that.
May your life be free of human abuse.
Namaste ❤️
Credit: What is shown below courtesy of psychologist Henry Cloud

10/11/2025

Facing a life-threatening situation and/or the risk of serious harm, whether physical, mental, or both, coupled with experiencing terror combined with helplessness increases the chances that the person, in this case children, will experience traumatic stress.
Trauma is NOT an event: It is what happens inside one because of an event or a series of events that do not necessarily have to be life threatening.

09/24/2025

Via this post Dr. Frank Anderson debunks some of the most common myths about forgiveness INCLUDING self-forgiveness that, unfortunately, continue to circulate among us; For instance, forgiving another person, for the much hurt that the person caused you, DOES NOT automatically mean that you must continue a relationship with the person. Doing so is your own prerogative, not anybody else's.