05/04/2025
Shattered Voices
#2
10 Signs Your Child Might Be Cutting (Stuff We Don’t Want to Talk About but Probably Should)
By Laura Moussakhani
Ok, deep breath. This post is not fun, not light, and definitely not funny—but it’s important. I’ve hesitated to write it, but if even one parent reads this and says, “Wait… that sounds familiar,” then it’s worth every awkward word.
Let’s talk about cutting.
Yes, that kind. Self-harm. Some kids—our sweet, beautiful, messy, emotional kids—sometimes deal with their pain by hurting themselves. It’s not always about su***de. It’s usually about control, emotional overload, or numbing out. And it often happens quietly, behind closed doors. We miss it, because life is busy and teenagers are masters of the “I’m fine” face.
So here are 10 signs to watch for if you suspect something might be going on:
1. Unexplained cuts, scratches, or scars – Especially on arms, thighs, or stomach. Some may be healing, some fresh.
2. Wearing long sleeves/pants in hot weather – Yep. That’s a thing. They may be hiding marks.
3. Frequent “accidents” – Vague stories like “the cat scratched me” or “I fell” more often than makes sense.
4. Pulling away from touch – If they flinch when you hug or brush past them, pay attention.
5. Sudden withdrawal – From friends, sports, family dinners, everything.
6. Possession of sharp objects – You know your kid. If they have razors, pins, or broken glass tucked away… ask questions.
7. Mood swings or deep sadness – Depression doesn’t always look like crying. It can look like anger, apathy, or exhaustion.
8. Low self-esteem or shame – Talking down about themselves, saying they’re “a burden” or “not good enough.”
9. Changes in sleep or eating – Insomnia, oversleeping, sudden weight change.
10. Being overly private – Locking doors, hiding their arms, acting guarded about routines.
Here’s something that needs to be said:
Kids who have been through trauma do not have a normal relationship with fear. You or I might look at a sharp object and think, “Why would anyone do that?” But a kid who’s seen hard things—real pain, real chaos—doesn’t see danger the same way. A razor doesn’t scare them. Pain doesn’t either.
I like to say I’m a daredevil—not because I want to tempt fate, but because I’ve seen fate. I’ve seen hard. And there’s not much that scares me anymore. Self-harm hasn’t always shown up on my skin, but it’s lived in me, in different forms. There are many ways people hurt themselves—and just because someone doesn’t have visible scars, doesn’t mean they’re not bleeding inside.
If this speaks to you, if you have questions, or if you just want someone to talk to—I’m here. Seriously. Message me.
Unfortunately, this seems to be growing in the young people I work with. And it breaks my heart. We have to talk about it. We have to show up for our kids—even when it’s uncomfortable.
You are not alone. And neither are they.
Let’s talk about the hard things. That’s how things change.
