That Clay Couple

08/30/2025

At the play, I realized something. I wasn’t laughing because life randomly gave me a funny moment. I was laughing because I created the space for joy. I made a choice to bring it into the room instead of waiting on it to show up.

When your joy stops being an accident and starts being an intentional act, the happiness hit different!

08/27/2025

“…Hours before he died on April 11, Adam uploaded a photo to ChatGPT that appeared to show his su***de plan. When he asked whether it would work, ChatGPT analyzed his method and offered to help him “upgrade” it, according to the excerpts….”

ChatGPT allegedly guided teen to be more specific and to tie a stronger rope around his neck. Ai is not programmed to know if a persn has intent to kill. When certain language is used, it is put on alert and will redirect a person to a Su***de Hotline.
If you show up to a therapy session with a rope around your neck, as therapist, I have questions!

If a person knows how to prompt Ai, one could divert its attention away from the self-harm goal for what is essentially “unalive” support. Watch your children/teens on Ai. It does more than homework help and write papers.

The full article can be found on NBC news and other outlets.

08/25/2025

Some of yall treat love like oxygen. You clutch it so tight you forget you already know how to breathe on your own. You end up drowning in unhealthy love!

When you’re willing to be loved at any costs to your body, your pockets, your self-worth… you trade away your peace, your dignity, and your voice. This is survival mode.

Quick tip to assess yourself: If I stopped overgiving or stopped begging for reassurance, would this relationship still feel safe and mutual? If the answer stings, that is a sign you may be drowning.

This one right here is about honesty. Be honest with yourself before you demand honesty from anybody else.

Tell me in the comments one sign you noticed in yourself when you are/were loving at the expense of you. Someone else needs to hear it.

08/23/2025

Your pseudo-independence will get fist bumps from friends but it is protection to prevent disappointment. What if you learned to choose the right people to have around you without flinching or second-guessing yourself?
The next time you’re tempted to say, “I’m good! I don’t need help,” pause it! Dig deep to see if this is the fear of being let down again? If so, choose one small way to let someone you trust help you this week. Simply ask for help and accept it. If this has been hard for you to do, drop a ME! in the comments!

That’s how you re-train your nervous system to believe love, people and relationships can be safe.

08/15/2025

08/09/2025

Some of y’all been running on preset settings others gave you.

You’ve been told:

Don’t talk too much

What makes you think you can do that?

Stay humble

Don’t make waves

Folks use shame to run you. Have you been the one who thought they had to dim their light to be loved? Accepted? Speak up and don’t apologize for the discomfort of others. Customize yourself to be YOU. That’s always an upgrade.

07/31/2025

You don’t need another shallow conversation with questions like, “What do you like to do?”, “Do you have children?”, “Where do you work?”. You need the questions with substance to get toa person’s values, patterns, wounds, and truth BEFORE the commitment is made.

This is from my 6-week premarital course made for:
🖤 Individuals healing & hoping for their person
🖤 Committed partners trying to make it work
🖤 Engaged couples ready to identify what they’ve missed or need to build on

And if you wanna, “Is this is really love or am I being love bombed?” Lied to? Don’t trust myself? Wanna learn more about me and this other person? Then this is for you.

Tag someone who needs this. Or DM if you’re ready to prepare for realities versus marry potential.

07/30/2025

Since you’ve gotten used to walking on eggshells, you’ve told yourself you do it to be considerate.
Then, you constantly question your worth, apologize for having feelings, or shrink yourself to “keep the peace,” is not, and never will be, loving.

Sometimes, it ain’t all yelling or cheating or fighting. What about the partner who gets quiet when you need comfort? Or, you get an eye roll when you speak your truth. You’re told you’re “too sensitive” for reacting like a human being.

Others will lower your mood when they twist accountability into blame. EVERY argument is your fault. You apologize each time but it feels like begging instead of recovery.

Sound familiar? Do this. Track one interaction a day that left you feeling drained. Just note the moment and how your body responded. Tired, tense, shut down? Your body will tell you what your mind tries to normalize.

Don’t keep adjusting yourself for someone who refuses to adjust their harm. Let’s talk about what real safety feels like.
Come work with me at Auntie Ny Counseling. Where we name it, face it, and help you stop excusing it.

07/23/2025

We're all lectured out! Instead of more talks, our communities require workshops, seminars, and heartfelt connections. Dive into real conversations to foster growth. Forget the Sheikh's lectures; let's build together!

07/23/2025

You keep calling it love, but it feels like starvation. He’s present, but not connected to you.
You try to leave and he makes promises. He does better for awhile. You hope he’ll see you this time and believe he could lose you. You confuse familiar with safe. You’ve told yourself this is easier than grieving for him than to feel abandoned. So you deal with it. Let me know when you’re ready to grow.

07/23/2025

Does this sound familiar? Drop a 💯.

You were taught:

*Don’t cry or you’ll get in trouble
*Stay quiet to avoid conflict
*Work harder so you don’t lose approval or attention

What You Needed To Know As A Child:
*Emotions are valid
*To listen to you is not a burden
*You’re worthy even when you rest or didn’t win at something

Childhood conditioning sets the stage for your capacity as an adult. Identify the ways you’ve tried to adapt to trauma, or how it has modified you, before it takes over. Inbox to work with me.