That Clay Couple

That Clay Couple Providing life-changing relationship renovation to get you closer to relationship goals w/ Bae & self

Most couples are not arguing about the thing they’re arguing about. They’re arguing about not feeling heard.Not feeling ...
02/04/2026

Most couples are not arguing about the thing they’re arguing about. They’re arguing about not feeling heard.
Not feeling chosen. Not feeling safe to say what they actually need.

The same fight keeps coming back between ya’ll. New day. Same tone. Same ending.

These three shifts are not magic. They are interrupts. They slow the moment down long enough for two people to stop hurting each other while trying to be understood.

If you’ve ever said “we talk in circles” or “nothing ever changes,” this is why. Nobody ever taught you how to pause the pattern instead of powering through it.

This is the work I do with couples. Not surface communication tips. Real time pattern work. I accept select insurance plans in NC. If this hit, reach out.-Auntie Ny

02/04/2026

When someone tries to make your emotional needs a burden, you’ll get tired of defending your needs. Like you should shrink to keep someone comfortable or at all!

They’re trying to get you in shape for the bull crap headed your way.

Don’t want someone so much you call silence “strength” or lack of effort “normal.”
If you’re ready to stop questioning your needs and start honoring them…send a message.

You’re not needy. You’re asking the wrong person.

02/01/2026

Many years back, I was piecing together what it meant to be a Muslimah for me. Many folks know what they want you to be! You have to figure it out for yourself. Something as simple as covering takes creativity, trial and error, and a few dollars.
I can’t wear every fabric. I need a specific length. I had to learn.

I remember being at the masjid and a sister asked me, “Why do you wear your scarf like that?” I heard what she didn’t say. Why not blend in a little more? Why not make it easier for everyone? Why not look more like me?

My scarf outfit met every Islamic requirement, but it wasn’t hitting for her.
I responded, “Because I want to wear it this way.”

I’ve been covering for over 30 years, and love it. I’ll also tell you the truth. Some days, a muslimah may not feel like wearing it, but she does it anyway for the sake of Allah. Alhamdulillah.

Each time I put it on, it’s a reminder to me of how to conduct myself. Of who I am. Who I belong to. May Allah accept my efforts and the efforts of every Muslimah. Ameen.

Be you and honor your faith. Happy World Hijab Day.

A lot of folks close their eyes on this one. In Islam, providing for your wife/family is more than something to do. It i...
01/31/2026

A lot of folks close their eyes on this one. In Islam, providing for your wife/family is more than something to do. It is a weight, but the weight gives you a position of status. It is a responsibility. And it comes with honor.

When you come into marriage saying, “I’ll pay half and you do yours,” AS A STARTING POINT, you’re talking about more than money. You’re TAKING away from the very thing that gives you rank in the relationship. Make it make sense?

Not because you got sick. Or life hit you sideways.
But because you led with it. This is what your leadership looks like. A deduction you took from yourself.

Dowry is a gift, not a fee to be paid. A symbolic way to say, “I am prepared to carry you.”

No one says this out loud, but I will. When a man leads with 50/50, some people will quietly read that as soft. Not situational. Not he got laid off. Not temporary. Soft.

If we are going to have two softies in the marriage…What you want for your dowry, Bruh? -Auntie Ny

(PSsst… don’t be shocked when she hardens to carry what you laid down.)

My grandma, “Momma” raised me. She told all of us girls, “Get your education so you don’t have to depend on no man.” She...
01/30/2026

My grandma, “Momma” raised me. She told all of us girls, “Get your education so you don’t have to depend on no man.”
She meant that. Momma and Daddy were together over 50 years. I watched them be friends. Real friends. She “fixed” his plate. Gave him the big piece of chicken. The house stayed spotless! I never heard her raise her voice at him.

I know she did at some point because she was a firecracker🧨 🔥, but what I saw was respect and ease. That shaped me.

The same woman who told me never depend on a man also taught me how to take care of one. I remember her telling me, “You betta feed that man.”

I’m not confused about her message though.
✔️I don’t need a man to survive.
✔️I am already solid.
✔️This man gets care because I choose to give it.
I’m not operating from fear or lack. Independence gives me stability and options. Partnership gives me a chance to be generous with a GOOD MAN!

Momma showed me you can do you, “not depend on no man” and be sure you take care of the right man! Give HIM the big piece of chicken!

If you’re a warrior, rest your bodyIf you’re a partner, set one boundaryIf you’re prayed over, receive without guiltIf y...
01/30/2026

If you’re a warrior, rest your body
If you’re a partner, set one boundary
If you’re prayed over, receive without guilt
If you’re prayer full, protect your peace on purpose

Drop the season in the comments
And don’t overthink it
Your nervous system already knows the answer. -Auntie Ny

01/21/2026

Anxiety isn’t always fear. Sometimes, it’s something you learned that you take with you wherever you go.

Two shifts to help you out:

• Pay attention to what your anxiety is trying to prevent.
There’s a story living underneath!

• Let your body catch up to your beliefs.
Faith can guide you, but your nervous system needs practice feeling safe. You trust God, but not yourself! Gotta change this.

This year, I’m creating intentional spaces for this kind of healing.

If this resonated, save it. Wanna do this work with guidance? Stay close. Follow this page.

01/07/2026

When the same turmoil keeps showing up, ask yourself what’s being avoided.
If any of this sounds familiar, then you’ve encountered someone with high conflict personality.

01/07/2026

Because solving a problem requires self-reflection, and blame feels safer than accountability.

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