09/30/2021
Elizabeth Kubler Ross wrote about the well known stages of grief (denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance). But did you know she wrote them related to the grief people who are dying feel? They were not intended for those left behind, they were an offering for the dying. Similarly, Kubler Ross never taught that the stages were absolutely linear...She knew people moved in and out of acceptance, for example, as they faced their imminent deaths.
William Worden offers tasks of mourning for those who have lost someone. And I share them here just as I do with clients:
Accept the reality of the loss (this comes when one finds themselves buying their loved ones favorite food, then remembering they are gone. When one thinks we hear their voice, but remember they are gone. When one picks up the phone to call, and the reality hits again. “Each time we fail to find them, we acknowledge a little more deeply the fact that they are gone,” writes Worden.
To work through the pain of grief (the pain of grief isn’t experienced all at once. It unfolds and reminds and pops up).
To adjust to an environment in which the deceased is missing (We develop new routines, discover a different world without our loved one).
To emotionally relocate the deceased and find a way to move on with life (we remain connected to our loved one while also investing in life).
Keep going. ⛰️⛰️⛰️
