12/11/2025
'Tis the season for... boundaries? Maybe?
If boundaries are on your mind, here are a few pro tips:
1. Other people's boundaries are other people's business. Don't judge other people's boundaries. You don't know the full story. And try not to judge your own. You've got your own story.
2. Boundaries can have different meaning and impact for different cultural groups. (We love the book "But What Will People Say?" for this.) Stay in your own lane. You may be learning what works best for you, but that doesn't make you the expert on what's best for anybody else.
3. Boundaries don't have to be black and white. They don't have to be permanent. You get to experiment with boundaries. And then you take in the information you get form that experiment and adjust (or not). For instance: You may not be willing to see your mean-drunk uncle after he's boozed up on Christmas Day, but what about a sober breakfast with him on Christmas Eve?
4. Finally - other people don't have to like or agree with your boundaries for them to be valid. If you wait for permission or approval you'll be waiting forever.
