09/12/2025
Lately, Iβve been questioning whether continuing as a reader is truly the path for me. Iβve poured so much of myself into this work, yet what Iβve received in return feels small in comparison or at least, far from the expectations I once held.
Iβve wondered if Iβm just being impatient, but after years of effort, it feels less like a build-up and more like a slow halt.
I keep asking myself: Am I doing the right things? Am I missing something? Iβve asked Spirit for guidance, help, direction but the answers feel faint, like they fall on deaf ears. Or maybe Iβve just been asking the wrong questions.
When I finally asked, What should I be doing? the answer I heard was: Be free. Donβt box yourself in by only being βa medium.β My soul is capable of so much more of creating, of expressing, of helping in ways beyond what Iβve imagined.
I understand that. But I donβt know where to begin. I recognize my gifts, I see my talents, yet the path toward opportunity feels hidden. Iβve tried to create my own opportunities, but even then, it feels like I keep hitting a wall.
So here I am, at a crossroads. I donβt know what Spirit needs of me. I know what I want, but the βhowβ feels just out of reach. And honestly? Iβm not sure where to go from here.