Tara Pettit DeLoach, LMFT

04/26/2026

04/21/2026

04/20/2026

Avoidance gives you a tiny hit of relief.

Not because the problem is gone—but because you don’t have to deal with it.

So you “forget.”

You stay busy.

You promise you’ll deal with it tomorrow.

But what you avoid doesn’t disappear. Just the opposite: The problem gets bigger.

The only way to deal with something is to, well, deal with it. Which means: Giving voice to the feelings you’ve been pushing aside.

Every person I wrote about in MAYBE YOU SHOULD TALK TO SOMEONE was avoiding something (myself included!).

And then… we weren’t. And that felt so much better.

A question to try today:

What feeling am I trying not to have?

04/16/2026

When someone promises change, it can buy them time.

And it can cost you yours.

In this podcast session, Elena is trying to decide what to do after discovering that her husband has been having multiple affairs. They’re in couples counseling. He’s vowed to change.

But at some point, the question stops being “What is he saying?” and becomes “What is he *showing*?”

Want to hear how we help Elena move forward?

🎧 Listen to , “Elena’s Cheating Husband” ➡️ bit.ly/4sp2WXj

04/15/2026

A lot of people are told they have to forgive in order to heal.

But as I say in MAYBE YOU SHOULD TALK TO SOMEONE, “forced forgiveness” isn’t healing.

You can feel compassion for someone’s pain without absolving what they did.

And if you’re the one asking for forgiveness from someone else, remember that’s not their job.

The work for you is to find a way to have compassion for yourself while also holding yourself accountable (i.e., “What have I learned from this; have I offered a sincere apology or amends without the expectation of absolution; how will I do things differently next time?”).

Remember Rita’s story from my book—her desire for forgiveness from her adult children coupled with her inability to forgive herself?

If you struggle with forgiveness from either side of it, now might be a good time to read Maybe You Should Talk To Someone:https://bit.ly/40E59mJ

04/14/2026

When your client glances away mid-session, is it distraction—or something more?

According to Harvard-trained psychiatrist and trauma expert Frank Anderson, dissociation is one of the most underrecognized phenomena in clinical work—not because it's rare, but because most of us are trained to be on the lookout for the dramatic version and missing everything else. The subtle glance away. The client who's always in their head. The shutdown that gets labeled depression.

These are all points on a spectrum we're only beginning to understand.

In this conversation with the Networker's editor in chief Livia Kent, Anderson demystifies dissociation, challenges some of the field's assumptions about IFS and parts work, and offers a bottom-up, body-first approach to helping clients come back to the present. He also makes a compelling case that "dissociation" itself might need a new name—one that honors the survival intelligence behind it rather than pathologizing it.

🔗 Read the full interview here: https://bit.ly/4sEgMVY

04/12/2026

If these 8 things trigger you, your childhood may still be affecting you.

Emotional triggers are not random. They often come from unresolved childhood trauma, past experiences, and unmet emotional needs. You might notice strong reactions to criticism, feeling ignored, fear of abandonment, or difficulty trusting others. These patterns can follow you into adulthood without you even realizing it.

Healing starts with awareness. When you recognize your triggers, you can begin to understand where they come from and how to respond in healthier ways. You are allowed to grow beyond your past.

Read more here: https://reachoutrecovery.com/tips-for-recovering-from-childhood-trauma/

04/11/2026

The biggest obstacle to change in therapy is an inability to take in new information.

Many people (understandably) want to use the time to share their perspective over and over and over, as if to convince the other person (or the therapist) that their perspective is the “correct” or “reasonable” one.

But the way to move forward is to take in information you might not have considered before in order to understand and resolve the issue between you.

Next time you feel stuck with a partner or family member, ask yourself, “Am I taking in any new information here, or just repeating my position like a broken record?”

04/10/2026

The kid version of you that you still carry around in your head and heart needs to trust adult you— that you'll see them, that you'll care for them, that you won't attack or abandon them.

The kid-you inside needs you to be, now, the adult you needed once upon a time.

04/09/2026

Some good options:

“What My Bones Know” by Stephanie Foo
“I’m Glad My Mom Died” by Jeannette McCurdy
“Educated” by Tara Westover

I strongly recommend, whatever else you're doing on your CPTSD recovery journey, seek out memoirs & podcasts & other places where those who have been through complex trauma have shared their deconstruction stories.

We're not alone, either in this pain or in this project.

04/08/2026

Among so many other things that therapists can and can’t do. What would you add?

Disclaimer: Content is for educational purposes and doesn’t constitute therapy. Posts are generalized and may not fit all individuals or situations. My posts don’t speak to situations of abuse, active addiction, or certain mental health conditions.

04/07/2026

Reminder that someone being mad at you, disappointed in you, not attracted to you, or dismissive of you, has zero bearing on your worthiness, your validity, or the contribution you make to the world with your existence.

(No, you're not the exception to that.)