12/09/2021
The Feelings or Emotions Wheels are one of the first things I go over with kids and their parents in a therapy session. Understanding this has made me a better counselor and a better coach.
The inner circles is the affect or expression that we can see with our eyes, and the outer circles are the emotions and feelings related. In terms of the negative wheel, we often try to directly address what we're seeing and don't get to the core of the problem. Without addressing or solving the core issue the presenting feelings often persist. Note that often times someone can present as angry, but along with that is also sadness and other parts of the circle underneath.
An example of this would be last week I had two gymnasts struggling with feeling prepared for their first competition of the season. One presented as sad, and the other as angry. My younger coaching self may have simply said "don't be sad, it's just the first meet and you'll be OK!". But in the present day I ask questions about what was underneath their anger or sadness. Both were discouraged, frustrated, jealous (comparing to others), and feeling pressured. Anger and sadness seem hard to fix, but all of the underlying things are much easier to work on.
I believe as coaches it is important that we also vocalize what we're feeling. Just last week I was angry while I was coaching. I could tell my body language was starting to express it in how I was aggressively setting up the equipment. I didn't want to yell at the kids or have the whole group worry they did something wrong, so I stopped things and pulled them into a circle. I told them I was frustrated at some of their work ethic with a competition coming up. I asked them directly about what seemed like not caring and it lead to a good conversation. Some were apathetic because they felt they couldn't make much improvement in a week so they stopped trying. Some felt the drills I had set up weren't helping them. Some were getting worried about the meet and thus were struggling to perform well.
Overall, while all of our expressions were different (angry, apathetic, afraid, etc.) we were all dealing with similar underlying feelings that each had solutions to implement.
In the second and third photos, the Positive Emotions and Human Needs Wheels, it is the same process. If we want our athletes to feel confident and, we need to promote trust, pride, consistency, self-reliance, and be honest with them.
Share these with your athletes, parents, and staff, and I can guarantee you will see positive results come from it.
Photos from Human Systems. Thanks for making the best wheels I've found in all my years of searching!
