05/20/2026
Avoiding discomfort does not erase it. It hands it to a future version of you on someone else's timing.
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That is the loop my new Psychology Today piece is about. Anxiety is anticipatory by design, always scanning ahead and predicting you will not be able to handle it. Every time we reach for the quick comfort, the distraction, the reassurance, the detour, we confirm the prediction. The relief is real. The lesson is wrong. The loop tightens.
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You do not break it by feeling calmer in the moment. You break it by collecting evidence that contradicts the prediction. One small, chosen discomfort at a time.
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This week, pick one. Not the biggest thing you avoid. The smallest one you would rather not do.
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Take the different way home.
Say yes when you reflexively say no.
Go on the trip without being 100 percent prepared.
Sit with the silence instead of the phone.
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Each one is a small, controlled deposit into a self trust account that avoidance has kept empty.
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Save this for the next time you catch yourself dodging a hard thing.
Full piece here:
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/gaining-and-sustaining/202605/create-your-own-discomfort-so-it-is-not-created-for-you⠀