08/22/2024
Inside every criticism lies a secret desire waiting to be revealed. 💬✨
According to the work of renowned psychologist, John Gottman, PhD, criticism is one of the “Four Horsemen of the Relationship Apocalypse.” by Dr. John Gottman, a leading relationship expert.
Through decades of research, Gottman identified four behaviors—criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling—that can predict the end of a relationship with alarming accuracy.
But there’s hope! Gottman’s research also highlights the antidotes to these destructive behaviors.
For criticism, the antidote is to focus on stating your emotions and expressing positive needs. This shift can turn potentially harmful interactions into opportunities for deeper connection and understanding.
• Criticism: ‘You never listen to me.’
Underlying Feeling: ‘I feel unheard and lonely.’
Positive Need: ‘I need to feel connected and valued.’
• Criticism: ‘You’re always working late.’
Underlying Feeling: ‘I miss our time together.’
Positive Need: ‘I need quality time with you.’
By addressing the emotions beneath the criticism and expressing what you truly need, you can strengthen your relationship and build a more resilient bond.💪🏼❤️🩹
