06/27/2025
I've been down every road I should never have traveled.
Some choices were mistakes, others were the blindness of thinking I was too good, too strong, too great-
And the only thing I really was on those days was too blinded.
Blinded by the promises of those who wanted to use me.
Blinded by my hubris to think I was above all the bad stuff and nothing could stop me.
Really, in the end, I just didn't know what to think or feel or become after having led a life that was never really mine-
Trying to fit in, get attention, be like the others..
When you chase the affection of others, you seek affirmation and your happiness doesn't come from within..
Well, you find yourself in some really bad places, sinking lower than you ever thought you'd be.
I asked myself all the questions...
Why me, how did I let this become my life, why did everyone go away?
Truth is, they were never really there for me at all,
But just seeing what they could get from me and once they did, they just threw me away like yesterday's trash.
It wasn't that I was naive, but rather that I wanted to believe all the lies they told me.
It's easier that way, and they feed you a constant stream of lies, malcontent and deceit..
And it all plays into the dreams you have woven to distract yourself from the reality of your situation.
And in the end, like so many other times, I was left alone in the darkness.
They left-they always do.
Shreds of a torn soul and pieces from a broken heart don't make for good nights or happy feelings, but sometimes, that's all you have left when twilight falls.
When you're in those places, hurting and trying not to drift off into the nothingness of despair,
You have two choices.
Stay down and give up.
Get back up and fight for who you are and what you believe in.
Your dreams never leave you, you know ?
You just stop believing in yourself and the things you want as life keeps taking you down...
Until you decide that you're more than that.
I still got knocked down, and it hurt a little worse along the way.
But I didn't stay down.
I chose to keep fighting.
I started to remember who I was.
I began to know I was capable of so much more...
In spite of all their jeers and the people who put me down, saying I'd never make it.
And they were right.
I'd never make it to the top of that mountain.
Failure would find me like it always had.
But what they didn't know was that this time,
I would get back up.
I would fight harder, push myself and somehow, all those things I never thought I could overcome..
I did that and much much more.
As I stepped across the very summit of a place I had always thought to be too much for me,
That's when I realized that I had so much more in me than I had ever thought I did.
So, a smile creeped across my face as I look back one last time.
This time, nothing will stop me from being who I was meant to be.
And in those moments, my friends, we can live forever.
|ravenwolf
